"From Chains To Change": Scott Morgan's Path to Freedom & Recovery

In this powerful episode of Wrong to Strong Chicago, host Omar Calvillo welcomes Scott Morgan to share his incredible story of transformation. Raised in the tough streets of Chicago and enduring a turbulent life filled with addiction, violence, and incarceration, Scott's journey to finding faith and redemption is nothing short of inspiring. From the traumas of childhood abuse and the struggles with substance abuse to his eventual breakthrough and spiritual awakening, Scott takes us through his life's darkest moments and his path to recovery. Along the way, Scott shines a light on the importance of helping others, as evidenced by his work with the Mersades Ann Foundation, which serves children impacted by a parent's incarceration. Join us as we delve into Scott's story of perseverance, hope, and the unwavering power of faith. Don't miss this episode filled with heartfelt reflections, valuable lessons, and a testament to the transformative power of God's grace.

https://mersadesannfoundation.org/

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Transcript

Omar: 0:15

From the city of Chicago, a city most recently known for its crime and violence. On this podcast, we will be sharing stories of redemption from individuals raised in the tough streets of Chicago and from around the country. Some of them were gang members, drug dealers, incarcerated victims, and perpetrators of violence. Listen to my guests as they share their experiences, struggles, trauma, but also the strength, Hope, faith and perseverance. These have developed in them to keep pushing and moving forward in life. Tune in to hear how their lives have gone from darkness to light and from wrong to strong. Hello everyone, and welcome to another episode of Wrong to Strong Chicago. I'm your host. My name's Omar Calvio, and uh, I just wanna start off real quick. I just wanna thank our listeners for the con continual support. Uh, we thank you for, uh, listening and, uh, I ask you guys, man, uh, please share these podcasts, uh, um, share these, uh, interviews, these stories. Uh, if these, uh, uh, testimonials, uh, have been blessing you, man, share it with somebody that you, you think might, might benefit from hearing some of these stories. Uh, also, if you've been watching us on YouTube, man, please like, and subscribe, you know, uh, and think about becoming a, um, a, a supporter, a member of the channel. I. Also to those that, uh, be listening to the audio, whether it be, uh, Spotify, apple Podcast. Uh, man, please, uh, uh, uh, rate the podcast. You know, give us those five stars on there and that that'll help, uh, bring that podcast, uh, uh, to, to other listeners. You know, it'll, it'll move up like on the list. Uh, and also, uh, consider becoming a supporter. You know, if you believe in the work that we've been doing, uh, prayerfully consider becoming a supporter. You could do that also, like, uh, mention, like on YouTube or, uh, via the, the bus proud link, which will be in the description section of this video. Uh, so with that, I just wanted to share that, throw that out there. my guest with me. His name is Scott. Morgan. Uh, welcome to the podcast, brother. Thank you. Thanks for having me. Amen, brother. So, I, I, I, I met this brother at, uh, a radical timeout, uh, meeting. Uh, so basically, uh, radical timeout is a koinonia house national, uh, ministry. Uh, they do prison ministry. I mean, simply, right? So it's, it is kind of like a, like a church service, you know, it starts off with radical. Yeah, it's radical. So, man, uh, a shout out to Pastor Manny Mill and the whole team out there, all the men and the women that gather there. The thing that I love about, about them is, uh, multi church. Yes. You know, there you got people from different churches, different denominations, uh, that all, that all have a heart for the, the prisoner for their families. And man, they're out there doing, doing a great thing. So you guys are interested in checking that out. Uh, they meet at, uh, compass Church in Whedon. Uh, that's every Thursday night, or from 6:00 PM till 7:30 PM So definitely, you know, I'll put a link in the description as well, maybe with the address and everything if you guys are interested, if you guys wanna see what God is doing through prison ministry out here in, in the Chicago land area. Definitely. Uh, I'll, I'll tell you guys to consider visiting. Well, w real quick, what has been your experience with, uh, RTO and, uh,

Scott: 3:31

so what brought me there? Uh, I was seeking the truth and I found it, I found the truth about Jesus Christ. Amen. And, um, the first time I heard, oh yeah, hallelujah. Yeah, it took me nine months to get back there. I had to pray on it. I had to, I had to grow, I had to surrender, and I did. Amen.

Omar: 3:54

And, uh, I I, I know you mentioned earlier, we were talking off camera and you said, man, this change has been recent in the last two months. Right.

Scott: 4:01

It, it has been. Yeah. So it was a hard fought one. Man, man.

Omar: 4:04

Amen. You know what, we, we, we, we wanna get to the victory, obviously, you know, that's, that, that's

Scott: 4:09

the

Omar: 4:09

testimony there. But, uh,

Scott: 4:10

man, let, let let you know, it's, it's the people at RTO. It's, it's the love. Um,'cause I, even first time I asked Manny or met Manny, I said, man, are Christians able to be happy? He said, come on, man. But my experience outside of that, um, it was a lot of, there weren't a lot of happy Christians in my life. I felt like, so, wow. So that was one of the first questions I got, the answer I was looking for. He said, absolutely. So you,

Omar: 4:37

you know, I'm gonna move this a little higher. There we go. Yeah, yeah, that sounds a little clear. So, so you said you never encountered a happy Christians. You know what? Not really. No. And so, so, so what, what had been your experience prior, I guess Oh yeah. You, that you would think or feel that way, you know,

Scott: 4:51

well, you know, it could have been my own, my own doing as well and, and the people I was seeking out and looking for differences versus the similarities. Um. In the word and, and people were telling me, I gotta do this. And I mean, I look back at now and, and they were probably speaking the truth. Uh, maybe just I wasn't ready to, to listen. Yeah. Even though I said I was so, so maybe

Omar: 5:12

could, it could have been the truth. Maybe a little harsh too. The delivery. Yeah. A little harsh too.

Scott: 5:16

Um, because I always had a little compassion and empathy and it just, it wasn't jiving at the time. Yeah. So again, um, I sat with Manny right away and, and you know, he's, I consider him my mentor, you know? Amen. You know? Amen. It's powerful in my story. Yes, yes, yes, sir. In our lives and, and how we get to share that today. Yeah. Amen. Uh, but, but outside of just Manny and Barbara, you know, just the whole team and. The worship and, and my friend John that goes and sings with Jim sometimes I, I know him outside of RTO. Oh yeah. It's just great how the Lord has put us all in the same, same room, man. Yes. It, it's all divine. Like you can't, you can't make it up. You can't plan that stuff. It just, uh, we'll explain, but Oh, yeah, yeah, definitely.

Omar: 6:00

Man, man, I wanna, I wanna touch on that'cause it's, well, when I launched this podcast, it's, it's through this platform that I was able to connect with them. And, and that's been, you mentioned the word divine, divine Daphne's been divine man. Just all the connections and the ripple effect is still going. I love that. And the, the network is growing. Mm-hmm. And to be there, there's nothing like being around like-minded individuals. Individuals, man, that are on mission, man.

Scott: 6:26

Yeah. The prayer, the love there is, yeah. Is, is phenomenal. Yeah. Um, you know, it. Coming to Christ and, and, and, and doing that surrender, you know, like out loud prayer is, is tough for me sometimes. Even, even today. Yeah. Uh, but hey, no, no, no,

Omar: 6:42

no, no pressure. But you we're gonna ask you to pray at the end, you know? Amen. Let's do it. Yeah, yeah,

Scott: 6:47

yeah. You know, uh, I remain teachable and, and willing to go to any lengths for that man. And, and, and filled with the spirit. Amen. The Holy Spirit. Amen. You know, and, um, so they, they, they're teaching me, uh, discipling, um. Yeah. They're loving on me, man. Yes. Amen, man. I'm glad, man. I

Omar: 7:05

know you mentioned the word joy. I see the, the joy in you. Yeah. The joy. Yeah. And, and, and that's the Lord, man. But you know what, let's go prior to the joy, man. Okay. You know, let's, let's let, let's go to the beginning. So, so usually I ask my guests if, if they could go back, like, okay, you know, could you tell us your, your, your childhood growing up? Uh oh, absolutely. Was, was, um, was mom and dad in the picture, and can you tell us, uh, where, where, where, where did you grow up and how life was for you in those early years?

Scott: 7:29

Okay. Yeah, absolutely. So, uh, I was born in, um, Hinsdale, Hinsdale, uh, DuPage County. Uh, lived in Westmont, uh, for the first couple years of our lives. Uh, so my dad was military and, and, and worked for American Airlines, uh, early on. So in the early eighties. Um, stuck around Illinois for a while. Uh, I may jump around a little bit. Yeah, yeah, go ahead man. Uh, but maybe we can come back to certain things. Yes, yes. Because there's for sure each move I felt like was, um, was, has its own unique. Story and, and how it trans, you know, how it led to certain things in life. You know, I lived in 18 homes before I was 18 years old.

Omar: 8:08

No way. Uh,

Scott: 8:09

five, uh, let's see, 1, 2, 3, 4 different states. Well, actually five, if you count, coming back to one, you know. Yeah. Uh, so it was Illinois, Wisconsin, uh, North Carolina, Tennessee, back to Illinois. Um, so, um, yeah, up until about the second grade, I, we were in Illinois and then we moved to Milwaukee. And, uh, you know, I had mom and dad in the home, um, pretty normal home except for as we get older, all the moves and, and maybe that addiction in, in my folks' lives. And, uh, I, I must say, um, I want the light of the spirit to speak here, right? Yeah. Am I, and it's nothing but the truth. So I, you know, I love my mom and dad, uh, even though my mom has passed, um. And we'll get to that. Yeah. Uh, my father's still around and, and by no means is this, um, blaming anybody and part of my story, it's just how I dealt with things. Yeah. You know, and, and what kind of transpired in life. But, uh, yeah, we moved a lot. So, uh, we moved from Illinois to Wisconsin, and, um, I have a twin brother. I have two, two brothers. I, I'm the youngest of three. Uh, my older brother, Robert, uh, my twin brother, uh, Steve, identical twin. Um, and that was my ride or die man. You know, it was, uh, through the moves, uh, that was, it was our best friend. Um, and even to this day, uh, even though our walks are a little different today, I love my brother and, uh, I pray for him. Amen. You know? Um, so yeah, Milwaukee was just, uh, you know, we moved from suburb to the country, to the city, you know, so it was kind of like.

Omar: 9:50

Now were, were those moves based on your dad being in the military? Was that military based? Yeah, you know, he would, he

Scott: 9:54

would come home sometimes. Um, so he was outta the military by the time we started to grow up. But then American Airlines came a big part of his life. So basically, I, the way I take it is my dad could put in for transfers pretty much whatever he wanted. And, um, I don't know the whole reason behind the moves and the transfers. Um, maybe one day I'll find, but, uh, you know, it, it was serious. I mean, some days, um, we would come home on a Friday from school and he would come home with a truck and be like, we're outta here on Monday. You know? So as a kid. It might, you know, as we're talking today, might not seem that serious. But when you have friends and, and, and again, you know, it's not just one move, it's, it's several moves at this point. And even in the third and fourth grades, um, you're making friends. Yeah. You gotta leave friends. You, you don't get to say goodbye. You, you know, you're, you got bonds with people and, uh, but then let's talk about when you go back to a school that you're new in, um, it's always tough, man. Yeah. As a kid man trying to fit in. Right. And, and again, if you're, if you're from the city and you're moving to the country, or vice versa, a lot of it's up here. I think it's, especially as a kid, but you feel like you don't fit in. Yeah. And, and, and then you start doing things, man, that, um, maybe aren't you, you know, you're not your authentic true self man. You, you just kind of do wild things. And, and again, I had a twin brother. Um. Uh, that kind of amped that up. You know, the twin, you know, they find these twins. The twins are here, you know, and it was like a threat almost as we got older, you know? Um, Milwaukee wasn't that bad. I mean, we had great, I mean, we played ball. My dad was my, our coaches and stuff. And uh, and then we moved to North Carolina. Um, and that's where, what,

Omar: 11:40

what, what, what age was that?

Scott: 11:41

How old were you? Uh, when we moved to North Carolina, it was about 10 years old, you know? Um, yeah, nine, 10 years old again, playing Little League. Uh, I was in four H. Uh, let me talk about church too. So my mom was Catholic and she took her boys to church on the holidays, you know, but we were never, I think we were christened maybe as a kid, but we weren't really followers and we weren't, uh, my mom did try to keep us going to church, but we were there not. For the Lord if that was, you know, like youth groups were kind of like a hangout and especially as, as young kids, um, bouncing around. I mean, there were kids there that obviously were walking the walk, you know, then, but we weren't there for that. We were just, it was something to do. Uh, so we weren't, it was never connected with God, you know? Um, but yeah, we moved to North Carolina. Got, uh, you know, I was little league, um, pretty good in school, you know, average. Like I don't come from a, a neglected home. I, you know, my dad never beat us. I mean, we got in trouble and, and when we deserved it, you know, you got ride. We were raised in the seventies and eighties, man, like. Yeah. It was so, it was, it was, it was deserved. It was just outta nowhere. It wasn't, yeah. You mom break wooden spoons and that and go grab another one. Like that was a part of it. And, and you only did that a couple times before you're like, okay, this is, you know, this is not gonna work. So, right. I got you, man. Uh, you know, my boss would put us to the wall. Um, I think his favorite thing is when, for discipline, he would make us put hammers in our hands and, and hold them out like a cross. And every time we dropped them, you had to restart, you know? Wow. And so I just remember crying a lot as a, as a kid when that happened. Uh,'cause that was tough, man. Yeah. You know? Um, but, uh, life is, life is all right at that time, you know, 10, 11, um, until it wasn't. Okay. What, what, what, what, uh, around that time, um, so we're in North Carolina and we've already made probably four different moves inside Raleigh Durham area. Uh. And then, uh, my mom and dad would go out town a lot and she'd leave us, they would leave us with a babysitter. And that babysitter, uh, crossed that line, man, with the twins, you know, and, and was sexually abused at 11, 12 years old, you know? And, and that changed the game. Mm-hmm. You know, that changed, um, the way school was going, the sports and, and, and kind of, that was the start of, of, uh, that, that thinking, you know, because now every relationship had changed, you know, I mean, we were popular in school and again, not, not troublemakers, but we started acting out, man. Mm-hmm. Um, as, as,

Omar: 14:21

as a result of that, as a, it is just

Scott: 14:23

a result of that, you know? And, and she was an older lady. Um, I don't really want to No, yeah. Go into too much detail on that except for, you know, I, I look back now and I can't imagine that happening to my kids, you know? Um. At such a early age and, and not being able to share it, not being able to, I mean, it was having to my brother, so we would kick that around, but then it was even silence between us. It was just something we did. And, and, um, and then we moved out there at 13. And at 13, um, we moved to Nashville and that's when things really changed for us, you know? Well, because you're becoming a teenager.

Omar: 15:00

Yeah.

Scott: 15:00

Um, but in that time too, uh, a family member had also started, uh, abusing the twins. So now it's, it's on both sides, you know, it's like, um, yeah, it was tough, man. Um, so now we're in the eighth grade and in eighth grade, you know, you should be having fun and, you know, just doing what eighth graders do. Yeah. You know, I think we're 13 and, um, that had changed every relationship with every girl, you know? Um. Unfortunately, um, we were seeking things'cause we thought that was the norm at that time. Yeah. We didn't know any different. So, you know, it was, it was, um, it was tough man because, uh, it just didn't end well, you know. Okay. I, uh, started experimenting with, uh, well, my brother and I, a lot of pills and smoking cigarettes, like before school and just, uh, hanging out with the, the wrong crowd, I guess you would say. And, and, and, but we were a big part of that crowd, right? Like, so it's, I don't wanna blame it all in the wrong crowd. Yeah. It's like, man, it's where we fit in, man. You know? We felt like we were outcast and

Omar: 16:05

you, you know. Could I ask you something? Do you feel that that led you to that? Like, I know you mentioned the, the abuse Yeah. You told that that was triggered Yeah, absolutely. To fighting an escape. Absolutely. Yeah.

Scott: 16:14

Yeah. Uh,'cause by that time we had started acting out and, and, um. Never really hurting anybody, but we were some crazy kids, man. We lived in the country. Uh,

Omar: 16:25

can I ask you this too? Um, yeah. Did it ever cross your mind back then to let somebody know your parents like you or your twin? Did it you guys ever have that conversation or it was just something you knew? We just because

Scott: 16:36

we were shameful man, like, didn't understand that it wasn't our journey at that time. You know, we didn't understand that, uh, well if we didn't think anyone would believe us for one, I'm sure. And then it was more of, uh, I guess an ego thing at, at some point too, as you're getting older, like you don't want to tell people that you were molested and that you were pretty much raped. Right. Like by older people. Yeah. Sick people, you know? Yeah. Gotcha. And, and we're not talking just like once or twice like it, it went on for a while, you know, and, and, uh, I won't talk about my brother's journey or anything, anything like that, but uh, I know he was put in other situations where that probably continued where it stopped for me. Uh, so I thank God today. Um,'cause I don't know what would've happened. Yeah. I don't know. I, I, no. Right, right. You know, I don't know. But, uh, you know, by that time now, um, 13, 14, and man, we're running the streets, we're running away from home. We're, we're no longer really hanging out. I mean, we were hanging out with people, but they're older people now. And, and my, I find my brother and I were, were drinking and we were smoking pot and, you know, for a long time, you know, like at a young age, we're stealing everything. Like, we're just reckless, you know? Yeah. We just, uh, we just don't care, you know? And still going home, trying to play one role, but then as soon as we leave out, man, it's a whole different ball game. And, and, um, my mom did try to hook us up into the youth group there, but even, even, I re I can recall we went, uh, there was a church off of McGavick Pike almost by downtown Nashville. And, and we ended up doing some horrible vandalism. You know, like at, at the, at the church, you know, everyone's at church and my brother and I are out in the parking lot. We're ripping off all the Cadillac emblems and jaguars and you know, and, and I remember, only reason I bring that up is I remember going home and we'd put everything in this cheese balls can, and my mom never asked for anything. We come home that night with all these emblems and figure out how we're going get rid of these things for no reason. She asked her to eat cheese balls. Well, ain't no cheese balls in there, bro. You know how the, how, the, how, how, how, how did that night

Omar: 18:47

go?

Scott: 18:48

Uh, it, it didn't go well. She ended up calling the pastor and we, they didn't press any charges and there was, it was dozens of cars that were. Vandalized. And, and that's, that's God's grace back then, man. You know? Uh, that's,

Omar: 19:01

that's a lot of money. A lot. It was a lot

Scott: 19:02

of money, man. You know?'cause we weren't just going for the silver. We went for all the gold caddies, you know, it's back in the nineties, early nineties, man. Oh man. But, uh, yeah, it didn't end well. And, um, I just remember, uh, how disappointed my mom was, you know, at the end of it. Uh, but didn't think about it too long.'cause now we're back, you know, ripping a run. We ran away from home and, and, uh, you know, as we get older, I'm, uh, now, now I was wrestling in high school and, and trying to play sports, but now I'm getting suspended for smoking and, you know, just kind of at this point, the twins are separated. My mom put us in different high schools in Hendersonville. There was like a nice high school. And then I was in the country, you know, like I. It was Oh, did, did they figure that that might help. That might help. Okay. Like separate because we were just outta control. Yeah. You know? Um, and yeah, it was, it was pretty rough for my mom and my dad. Uh, but my dad was kind of in and out of the picture. Uh, he was traveling a lot. He would always,

Omar: 20:05

you said he was a pilot or No, he, he worked for the airlines. Yeah,

Scott: 20:08

he worked for the airlines. Okay. He was part of ground crew. Yeah. You know, but I just remember him being gone a lot with a lot of working and traveling and stuff like that. So, um, yeah, it was tough on my mom. And, and then we started working and, you know, I got a job and I, when we were 15 and worked at a car wash, it's where we pretty much learned to drive. And, and, and I just remember that guy that ran that he was, he wouldn't show up sometimes and it's'cause he was locked up.'cause he was a, he was slinging, you know, and he loved the twins, man. We just, just had that vibe, you know what I mean? Like we always fit in with the, uh. I, I can't even call'em no goods, but just the, the, the hooligans. Yeah, the hooligans, bro. You know, like it's just what it was, man. And, uh, you know, um, you know, that abuse led to, I, I got an older, uh, a woman pregnant at 15 years old man, you know, and, and so by this time, pretty much had quit school and they put us in this alternative school, my brother and I, I know there's a lot in between there that we're missing, but it's not really important. Oh, yeah. It's just, it's just a lot of nonsense really. Um, but I, I remember calling my mom from night school, and it was from four to 10 30 at night. I called her on a break. I said, mom, we need to talk. And she's like, well, you need to tell me now. And I'm like, well, you know, Pam's pregnant, you know, and, and, uh, I know that crushed my mom, man. You know, I look back today and, and I did back then too, is like, my mom didn't talk to me for like a week, man. She was really, she was hurt, she was upset. You know, again, you know, that abuse led to not being able to have any re re uh, relationship. That was a normal relationship in life, man. And that continued into, we'll get into more into that, but, you know, um, so my dad came like a week later. He was already in Chicago.'cause we were getting ready for another move. Um, so by this time, you know, we just moving was still constant. Uh, and my dad said he loved me and I thought my dad was gonna whoop me. Man. I, I seriously thought my dad was gonna whoop me. And, and actually my mom treated me worse than my, my dad and that. And, uh. He said, we, you are gonna move though, you know, again, they were under to press charges and all this. And I'm like, no. You know, like,

Omar: 22:24

oh, against the woman.

Scott: 22:25

Against a woman.'cause she was older, you know, I was a kid, man. You know? Um, and not that she was like older. I think she was almost 20 years old, 19 at the time. Oh, okay. But, so it wasn't like, it was huge, but yeah. Yeah, yeah. It was enough in my parents' eyes to be like, come on man. You know? And, and uh, what made it worse is she was my, uh, my boss's daughter that I had worked with. Um, so a long story. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, and by this time I'm drinking and smoking and hanging out every day and, and, um, you know, they move us and, uh, it, uh, it was some trauma man. Like I could, I could always be able to be there for, for my kid. And, and, uh, and when I was, I didn't get along with. The stepfather, and then next thing you know, police insecurity are involved. Like, it was just never good, man. I was a very toxic, angry young man. Yeah. Like it was, uh, I wasn't a bad guy. I didn't ever, but I was angry. You know, I just didn't, I didn't, I didn't know how to control my emotions. Yeah, man. It led me down some rabbit holes, man. Yeah. You, it's just that, that, that anger as a kid. But again, I was just a kid. And, um, yeah. So I, I remember, um, just drinking. Just drinking, you know? And next, next thing you know, I'm like 17 years old and that relationship is gone and, you know, I can't see my daughter. And now I'm trying to finish high school. Uh, back up here in Illinois. Uh, my parents tried to send me to Joliet Central and I had moved from this country, like alternative school, uh, which was crazy in itself, but Joliet Central to me, was crazy. They had. Metal detectors. They had, you know, all the golf cart, uh, security and stuff. And I'm like, nah. So I convinced'em to let me go live in Westmont with my, my Godmother, um, and out in the suburbs. Yeah. And, and so they did. And, um, it just got worse. It got worse at 17. Um, I just remember, uh, you know, again, every relationship with women, um, girls at that time Yeah. You know, young girls. It didn't end well. You know, I mean, I, I probably jacked up a, a few girls, uh, lives just'cause drinking and drugs and, you know, and they missed out on some really good things that high schoolers supposed to do. Yeah. You know, so, um, you know, I, uh, the day I turned 18, uh, my brother called one of our friends and, and we went back to Tennessee after being up here for, you know, a little over a year and a half or so. But it was wild up here. You know, he was hanging out. Everyone loved the twins, but twins, I don't think loved themselves, man. Mm. You know. Didn't love ourselves, man. So we were doing some wild stuff just'cause it's what we did, you know? Um, and we had severe consequences to all of that, you know? Um, so yeah, 18, uh, I rode the, I rode back to Nashville in the back of a pickup truck, man. That's how crazy, man. That's how crazy It was literally in the back of, of a pickup truck. How, how, how many hours is that? Eight hours? Yeah, eight hours in a pickup truck, bro. That's, you know, that's that thinking, man. You know? Um, wow. I haven't rehashed this in a while, man. Wow. So thanks for, for, for this. Um, yeah. You know, um, long story short is, is we caught three felonies, well, actually nine felonies only got, we got convicted on three, uh, a week after, um, a week to a week to about a month. We caught all these charges. Uh, after being 18. Now, mind you, I had never been in the court system. Truancy, I think my brother had to go with, and the principal showed up for that, but I wasn't ever in juvenile detention. I just, God man, just had his hand on us, you know, like we just barely got by on any of that stuff. But, um, none like jacking it up, man, once you're an adult, you know? So now you're, you're a hurt trauma kid, man, that's been abused and you don't know. You don't know what direction to go in. And, and, and now we're, we're facing serious time, man. You know, uh, my brother and I both caught the same charges a guy had that we had committed some crimes with, uh, turn states on us, you know, and, um, pretty much ratted the out right? Like, uh, and uh, so my dad came and bonded us out after being down in, in jail, down in Nashville. And it was horrible. But it wasn't enough. Like even, even as bad as it was, like it didn't stop stuff, you know, like he bonded us out. I, I remember they didn't have the money for our bonds, but family members came up with money and, and there was a lot of stipulations. And I mean, within a week we're, you know, it's, we're messing that up, you know, so long story short is on that, is that, um, we were, we were given three years and, um, they, and they were gracious with us. They gave us weekends and that, and, and, you know, my brother and I were smuggling drugs and, and cigarettes and pills and on weekends, man, we're going in on,

Omar: 27:23

what do you mean they'll let you out on weekends?

Scott: 27:25

Yeah. So we would go serve our time on the weekends. We'd have to turn ourself in at Friday at six, and we'd get out at Sunday on six. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So for 48 hours? Yeah. Yeah. Gotcha. Like we couldn't even stay sober, man, going to jail for 48 hours. You know, we would, uh, we'd carve out our tennis shoes and put'em all back together. And trust me, when we walk into these cell blocks and they love these twins, you know, like they're, I got, got smacked. I got smacked one time by this cri man, I, I wonder why. Yeah. You know, uh, I, I got smacked one time, man. And again, I'm 18 years old. I'm, I'm, I'm a kid. And this dude came up and he was upset, man, because we twins came in laughing and hollering and, you know, he's like, man, this is jail, man. You know, like, this is serious stuff. And like, wow. You know, I never really thought of it like that. You know? I knew I was down in the hole. It's, it was, it was bad news, man. But, um, yeah, man. So, uh, I messed that up too. Couldn't, uh, they didn't let me out one weekend, man. So,'cause I couldn't pass drug tests and all that stuff, and, you know, we laughed today, but yeah, man, when you're, you're. 18 years old, man. It's really, I mean, we had concerts lined up all sorts of cool stuff, right? Like now it's real time, like, man, because now, now they're not gonna let me go home. Yeah. And, uh, my brother's still on the street and, and since we were kind of rappy, anything he did kind of got blamed on me and, and vice versa. So like, if he couldn't pass his drug test, it didn't look good for me. Right. Trying to go to court. Long story short is hey. Yeah. We ended up in prison, man. And, uh, at 18, well just turned 19. Yeah. MTRC, uh, middle Tennessee receiving Center back in 1996. And, uh, yeah, I remember, uh, this is where RTO comes into play.'cause I, I received the Bible when I was there, man, that this bible I have after being homeless, incarcerated and all that nonsense from this point on, I lost everything in life. But never this Bible man, I still have this Bible, but this guy named Charles. Um, gave it to me.'cause we went to, it was Christmas, and so this prison ministry came in and did like a Christmas, um, service

Omar: 29:37

Yeah.

Scott: 29:37

For the inmates. He looked at me, it was one look. And, and Charles said, man, I don't know when you're gonna need this twin, but you're gonna need this one day. And that was it. Like he wrote his name in there and, and I think it was his bible,'cause all his family's birth dates and everything was in there. And it was the old King James version. Oh. Way Bible. And, and I still have it today. Um, and I'll talk about that shortly. This is

Omar: 30:01

back in 1996. Yeah.

Scott: 30:03

Wow. 1996. That's a lot.

Omar: 30:04

How many years is that?

Scott: 30:05

30? Yeah, it's, yeah, it's, it's almost 29 years. Yeah. Yeah. Yo, yeah. You know, it's sitting on my dresser today. Wow. Um, with full of prayer cards of pe people, of friends and family. That, and I never realized I was doing it, but I'd put all of the dead people in my life in this book. In the Bible. Right. There you go. Like, and I, I'll get to that too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's kind of special. Um. And that's God's way of, of having, um, a sense of humor and, and tragedy and stuff is like, wow. Like, but uh, yeah. So Charles, so thank you. But, uh, that's why RTO was so special because at that time, at, at 19 years old, I was like, I can't believe people would take time outta their Christmas to come spend it with guys like us. Yes. Or kids, you know, but, but really we were the youngest on the compound I felt like. Um, which, which was a blessing too, because at a young age, uh, so back then, and I don't know if it's that way, but two family members are never supposed to be on the same compound together. Uh, which was, which was cool'cause they put us there and then a lieutenant heard that there was these young twins and, and he feared that some horrible stuff might happen to him. So he got us into the same guilt. He eventually got us into the same cell. So now I'm Sally's with my twin brother, man. At 19 years old and you know, God bless my mom, man, she sent us everything back then you get everything sent in. So we had everything and, and, um, but I was just still a drug addict. Yeah. I mean, even coming from the county jail and, and into the Department of Corrections, man, they would, they were loading us up on pills. I had, I guess I should back up. And prior to getting, uh, the weekend jails, I'd almost killed my brother. I was life flighted, uh, drinking and driving. Six weeks later, I is when I almost killed him and a friend, uh, ran into a tree at 80 miles an hour head on. So I had two DUIs at a young age. Um, that didn't help any of this case that led into this, but Okay. So that was prior to Prior Okay. Got prior to going in. So, but yeah, I totally forgot about that. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I was life flighted to Vanderbilt and, and from the high school that I dropped out of essentially, you know, um. Helicopter landed and, and they weren't sure if I was gonna make it and Wow. But I did survive and, um, almost lost this arm. And, uh, so they started giving me a bunch of pills, man. And that was right up my alley, man, because now I can numb out legally. Yeah. You know? Yeah. And, uh, when we went to jail the first time, the, the, uh, doctor owned the pharmacy that supplied the county jail with the pills. And so it was nothing but a, a pill warehouse, you know? And so I go to the penitentiary and, and I just remembered it was New Year's of 96, and I mean, I think we were taking Somas and something else, and it just was falling out, man, inside the joint, man. Like I'm, I'm more of a drug addict in inside the walls than, than outside. Wow. You know, um, uh, they shipped my brother and uh, and they wanted to send me to bootcamp. And, and I wasn't having any of that. I, I didn't want anyone telling me what to do at that age. And, and again, I, I, this whole arm was all stitched up, so I remember sitting in my cell and I would just beat my arm against the, the wall so I wouldn't be able to do a pushup. And that was my way out. See, that's that, that crazy thinging man. Yeah. You know, and, but it worked. And um, they, they called my parents and now I'm an adult, but they called my parents and said, um, he can't stay in Tennessee. Uh, would, would you guys let him parole? So it was called state probation and you didn't get paroled at that time in Tennessee. It was state probation. They let you out on. And, and, and so that worked out, uh, because when they let me out of there, I was able to come back up to Illinois, live with my folks. And, um, if you get paroled out of there, the only way DuPage County would take me is just on regular probation. So they, they accepted it. They were like, okay, but you just gotta stay outta Tennessee for the next three years, blah, blah, blah, all this stuff. And, and, and so I did, uh, I came up to DuPage County. Uh, my brother was still in the, in, in the joint. And, um, I hit the streets, man. And, uh, I found heroin. And boy did I love heroin.

Omar: 34:34

Hmm.

Scott: 34:35

I mean, it was instant for me. It was no, uh, there was no messing around man. I, I found something that really made me feel good. I could numb everything, you know? And it was, it was so convenient. You know, I lived in this suburbs out in, in Lombard with my folks, and I could hop right on Roosevelt and hit straight to the west side man. And, and I never had been around anything like that, you know, so to say. Uh, you know, my mom found me overdosed a couple of times, and, you know, she found my needles, needles in my arm burn, almost burned the house down and just craziness. And so I stopped going to probation. So now I have warrants out for me and, and not only warrants here, but now I'm wanted in Tennessee. And um, you know, when I was doing all of this, the computer systems weren't all linked yet. Yeah. So I was able to still,'cause when you're living a, a heroin lifestyle, now you're doing shady stuff, you know, and, and, um, yeah, that was me. And so I was getting arrested, but I would get bonded out within a short amount of time so they'd never catch up. And then I would just blow off cases, you know? And so now I'm really running, man. I'm running and, uh, ah, there's so much in between, you know, um, I'm trying to have girlfriends and now she's coming addicted and yeah. And now Chicago reader was a big thing. And, and, and we found prostitution in, in the readers. And now we're working for like three different escort services outta the city. And, and that whole. Oh, uh, I don't even know what you'd call it, man. It was, it was chaotic, man. It was reckless. It was, it was horrible. Um, I seen a side of life that I had never really witnessed before with the type of people that were calling these people, you know, and, and living that. But it, you know, as, as a u abused kid, like, it, it, it made sense, man. You know? It made sense, man. And, uh, you know, she ended up getting locked up. And I went to, I, I ended up in 26 of Cal a couple of different times, you know, never for a long, I think two months was the longest time I'd ever spent in, uh, like division five or something back in the day. But it was enough, you know, I couldn't wait to get out. My dad would come pick me up. I, I, they would. I always wore baby blue. I was never a gang banger. But you know, we street life, you know? Yeah, yeah. I remember getting pegged with like bbs outside of the chicken place out there, 26 in Cal.'cause they let you out about three o'clock, you know? Yeah. And dude, it was brutal, man. Yeah. For a white kid, you know? I'm young man. I'm not even 21 years old yet, you know? Uh, so yeah, we lived that lifestyle and, and uh, you know, and, and when you're not working you start stealing things and, and, you know, it led to, uh, more charges, man. But this time, um, before I caught charges, um, my brother's back home and he is already caught. DUIs just coming home and, you know, we're just still still in it. And, uh, I, uh, I was dating a girl and, and, uh, she told me she was pregnant. And, and I got locked up shortly after that, you know, for, for a burglary. Um, and uh, I knew, I knew at that time I had been running for so long and. I was in a lot of pain. My parents, my family, I didn't have any friends. They were all upset, you know, just people didn't wanna bury me, but they didn't want me around, you know, they wanted me to just get help, you know, and, and, uh, I was beat, man. I was beat this time and I was facing a lot of time this time, you know? Um, so I got sucked into DuPage County, um, and they offered me 30 years, man. And, um, I cried, I cried. I'm like, what? You know, but I'm also a fugitive from justice outta Tennessee now, so they put a million dollar bond on me. And so I know I'm not, I I'm not going anywhere this time. Yeah, I'm done. I, I'm done. There ain't no bonding out and I'm not bonding out. And, and, um, yeah, I fought that case for a while and I ended up getting seven years. So, um, it was a blessing because DuPage was relentless.'cause, uh, since I was on the run and I had kind of caught the same, similar case they were. Uh, I forget exactly what they called it, but they were extending term, extended term on sentencing. So I was a, a class one. Yeah, four to 15. So they wanted the max, so they had double it. Yeah, it was crazy. I was like, what? You know, and, and, uh, the crazy thing is I see guys cop out to that stuff. Like, like, whoa, dude. Like I fought it as much as I could, you know? Um, so yeah, we ended up in the joint. Um, and that was at the end of 2001? Yeah, 2001. I ended up in, uh, Shawnee and um, I think I got there in May. And, uh, our, our baby girl Mercedes, it was born in June and this is where it really gets cool, you know, is that, um, the Lord put me up back at, so back then Statesville was opened up and still, and, and I had a blue id. Um, I. So they put me over at the, uh, the roundhouse, I think they called it the birds cage or whatever. Yeah. Back then in the day. And so I was up on the fourth tier for about four months and uh, which was crazy in itself, man. You know, it was, it was, anyways, it was the first time I got to see my baby girl. Uh, they brought me back on a case that wasn't mine. They brought me up on a unlawful use of a, we a weapon, possession of a firearm and all of this stuff. And I'm like, man, I've done a lot of stuff, man, but this ain't me. And of course, you know, you have blue id'cause you're a fugitive from justice and, and, and you just caught discharge. And, and nobody believed me, but I put up for this court, written whatever. So I, I was able to go to Cook County and fight it and, and, and they found out, you know, for once I was telling the truth, at that point the court clerk had mixed our paperwork up when I caught a, a drug case, a heroin case. The guy that got charged with the gun and unlawful use, he got the possession charge and I got his charge. I'm like, but you couldn't make that up. And, and, and so it was a blessing for him. It was, yeah. Until they reversed it. Right. Okay. But it was the first time I was able to hold my baby girl in Stateville Penitentiary, you know, uh, my mom, my godmother, my baby's mother, and, and my baby girl were there. And, uh, I remember you're not allowed to hold your kids or anything, and at Stateville you're like, you're like, put up on a pedestal almost. And so everyone is down low and it just remember, it's like, and knows that

Omar: 41:14

to keep an eye on you so you don't Yeah. So

Scott: 41:15

the, yeah. Security could kind of keep an eye, you know, so the inmate is, even though, you know, an inmate, but I get it, you know? Um, but I remember holding her man. It was just a, it felt peace, you know, because it was chaotic inside there. Um, I remember walking up to the fourth tier, uh, where I was housed at, and. Just smelling my arm. You know how a baby smells caught? Yep, yep. You know, I don't share that with a whole lot of people, but it, it really brought peace in the midst of, like, I, I didn't know what my future held, man. Yeah. I didn't know where the joints were kind of changing, I feel like Okay. A a little bit there. You know, the police, they, they, they took our, our, our locks, our, our, we used to have keys to our cell. Yeah. They started taking them and we had to start pairing up and it, things were just changing. Changing, yeah. Okay. Uh, but the, the future was uncertain. Yeah. You know, uh, so I felt peace, you know, and, uh, long story short, as I ended up down in Shawnee for a few years, and, uh, I got my GED, which was, uh, awesome. And then I started teaching or helping out with a, BE classes to other guys, you know, uh, adult basic education is what they called it. And I enrolled in, uh, computer class and I hated it. So I dropped out that and, and I got A-H-V-A-C certificate and. An EPA certified and stuff. So I, you know, I found, um, I needed to stay busy, you know? Yeah. So the prison in Illinois, I, I think they took a lot of that out. Uh, now maybe they're bringing it back, but it was a blessing for me. It kept me, um, again, I was young. I was like 24 years old. Yeah. You know, it kept me on the right path, you know. Um, and then I, I got released and it was a blessing too'cause we were on lockdown for like, the last two weeks of my, uh, leaving there. So, you know, I, I was able to just scoot on out, like, and not a worry. And then, um, I to go to a county jail'cause they were extraditing me to Tennessee.

Omar: 43:13

Oh, wow. So

Scott: 43:14

I didn't even get to go home from there. So they took me to like Metropolis. Uh, it's a home of Superman. I don't know if you're ever. I, you know, watched it. But Metropolis is a real town, and when you go to their town, they actually have a 60 foot or 40 foot sculpture of Superman. And I was like, wow. You know, I been outside. Oh, for real? Is this for real? Yeah, it's for real. You know. So anyways, I had to ended up going there, and then Tennessee did come and get me and, and, um, yeah, I did a little bit more time down there and I, and, and I got released, you know? Um, how, how, how, how old

Omar: 43:45

are you now when you get released from Tennessee?

Scott: 43:47

Uh, so I think I was 25. Okay. Six. Hang on, let me see. So 30, uh, 20 years ago. Yeah. About that. I'm still in my middle. Yeah, yeah. Later. Uh, twenties, you know. Um, but let me back up really quick.'cause when I come home, I, I, I meet this girl and I, and I knew this girl prior. She was, um, the sister of a good friend of mine. And, uh, for whatever reason, I just remember on my, on my cell bunk. I had pictures of Mercedes and I had one picture of who now is my wife. But the first time, I don't know if it's the very first time, but it was the first time she was around me in, at like my place. I was shooting dope. And she was like, don't ever bring me around this dude again. You know? Uh, she's not, she's not like me, she's not like me. But we were gonna go out like to the bar of Chicago or something. So I was, you know, just doing my thing. And uh, I remember my cell asking me, who is that?'cause I had a picture of, you know, of her and I'm like, I really don't know, but I'm gonna marry this girl. And that was it. Yeah.

Omar: 45:00

Yeah.

Scott: 45:01

So I come home and I go to visit my friend and, and she's got things going on and, um, she's got a boyfriend and, and, and all good, but, you know, she was busy, you know, and, and I, I just remember calling one day and, and Amy, who is my wife now, answered and. And, uh, we talked for a little bit, but still didn't want anything. Right. But she worked at a bar or whatever and, and me, I, I sought that out. And, and long story short is it's so divinely, um, put together because, um, we started dating and, um, you know, I'm on parole now and I'm doing the right thing. I'm, I think I was working out at Allstate. I was changing out the floors. It was hard for me to get a job when I came home. Yeah. You know, and parole and, and everything. So it was like through a temp agency. But I just remember her, she would take me and she was going to school and a lot of good things. And I'm on the straight and narrow. And, uh, when I was in the joint, really quick I'll back up, is I met, I saw my cousin, man, believe it or not, you know, and my cousin used to live with us when we were kids and he asked me for my mom and dad's number'cause he needed a place to parole out, you know, and, and. Mind you, penitentiaries are big, especially transfers in Stateville to come across that is, it's, I think God had a plan. Yeah. Yeah. You know, uh, because he ended up getting a hold of my PO folks and, and he ended up rolling to my mom and dad's house, but he totally jacked it up.

Omar: 46:25

Oh yeah. So when I

Scott: 46:27

came home, we had the same parole officer. Right. And I was doing the right thing, and she kind of let, she, she kind of put me to the side'cause she figured I was good and that's all I needed to, to get back out there, man. Mm. You know, I didn't get saved in the joint. I didn't, I didn't, um, I thought I was, God, I didn't really, uh, need a God. Right, right. Like, it's just the way it was for, for somebody like me. And, and, uh, so news say now I'm, I'm back on pills, I'm drinking and, and trying to hold it together, but it's falling apart fast, you know? And, and so that was, um, it was tough because my. My wife, you know, uh, she was my girlfriend. Yeah. Big time. But, um, like it was hurting her, but I couldn't stop, you know? That's how my whole life, I could never stop. The only way I stopped is when, when I was forced to, or Yeah. You know, I just had no option in jail. And it was out there jail. Yeah. Pretty much. Or, I mean, I did walk myself into like, hey, market detox for heroin once, but even that, it was just'cause everyone was on my back and, and I knew I was dying at that point, so it was just like a, a respite. Yeah. You know? Right, right. To get back out, you know. Um, but, you know, I'm, I'm catching, um, I'm trying to think how many other charges I caught. I was, I was catching charges and again, you know, you can't really hold down a job. No. You know, the good jobs I get, I get fired from, or, you know, parole was not easy, man. You know? Yeah. Parole itself was easy, but being on parole and letting people know that you're an ex-con, and I've been an ex-con now since I was 18 years. Right. You know, convict, you know, like, it's just hard, man. Uh, yeah. Especially when you start believing what people say about you. Right. Like, oh kid, you're, you're kind of, you kind of screwed the rest of your life, man. You know? It's what I heard from a young Yeah. Young age. It's, it's like all of this, you see, you're not, you can't get any of that, you know?'cause you've, you've already crossed that line. Yeah. And, um, so it led me to just to, to drown in my own pity man. Yeah. So that's what I, so it was almost

Omar: 48:33

like, uh, to, to give up like what's reason give, I'm even trying, not even trying, I'm already, it, it's, it's sealed, right? Like my, my future. It's Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Scott: 48:42

Gotcha. You know, and you know, by this time all the, uh, the street cred was gone, you know, all that, you know, I, I'm just a, I'm just a drug addict and alcoholic at this point, man. And, and, um,

Omar: 48:55

how,

Scott: 48:56

how, how long did

Omar: 48:56

that last,

Scott: 48:57

um, of being on that life, like drinking and drugging? Uh, till I was 43. Mm-hmm. 43.

Omar: 49:04

So what, what, what, what, what happens? So, but, so right before that, that change happens. So

Scott: 49:09

really quick is, is, is we moved to Wheaton. Okay. Um, when I had just gotten off parole, just gotten off parole thinking. My wife is working in Geneva. It's the halfway point, um, from where we're at, where we lived in Doners Grove to, to Geneva, Wheaton was dead smack in the middle. And I hated Wheaton. That's where the sheriff's department was. It was cops, it was state police. It was like, but we ended up there and I got a job. Uh, I walk in my dog, I, I told my wife and next person I hear nailing or something, I'm gonna get a job. And ended up getting a job at a roofing company. I'm still there today. Oh wow. 18 years later. Oh man. Look at that. Yeah, man. Um, thank God I, uh, but when I first started with them, it worked out really well.'cause I picked up my paycheck in the bar, you know, that's where we got paid. You know, the, the owner at that time, at, at four 30, you could find him at the bar. And that's, that's what we did. And so it kind of fit right in. You know, we worked really hard, but man, we partied really hard and, and yeah. Yeah. You know, um, I'm not here to glorify any of that stuff. Right. But that's just my journey, man. It's like every day we'd, we'd work hard. We'd, we'd use drugs and alcohol and we'd, we'd eat really good food, you know, and, and I'd make my, my girlfriend really upset most of the time because I just never had a cutoff switch. So, yeah, that lasted, it lasted, you know, I got arrested a couple times, silly stuff and uh, went to rehab a couple of times in and out of that, you know, first, uh, five, six years with the company. And uh, you know, every once in a while it was good for not coming in for three days'cause I'd hit the city up or whatever. You know, it's just living that, that wild lifestyle man. Yeah. And, and um, you know, we gotta also talk about, uh, when I did come home courts were involved with my daughter.'cause now I'm. I have this, this daughter that I've been gone for almost four years out of her life now. You know, so I had to go for child support and mediators and all of this stuff. And, and we did that. And so, uh, when she was about seven years old, is when I finally started to have a relationship. And, and, um, I couldn't even hold it together for, for that, right? Like, we had a great time and, and when we finally got that relationship, you know, our connection was outdoors fishing and, and getting back to that sort of thing. And it was good. It just wasn't consistent on my end, you know? Um, but she would come stay the night, uh, weekends, blah, blah, blah. Uh, like all the, uh, school breaks, we would get her, you know? And, and thank God for my wife.'cause you know, I, I didn't know how. I didn't have any sisters and never had any daughters. So my wife was kept that door open and, and that was cool. And by this time, uh, we've got one, one child, Michael, he's 15 now. Um, so they were, they were awesome together. Um, she started to witness this behavior and, and that, and, uh, yeah, it was just tough, man. I just could never stop, man. I just couldn't, uh, no matter what the consequences were. Yeah. You know, I just couldn't, I, I would try to hide it. I would try to this, that I would, somebody call me out on something, I'd stop that, but I'd go something else, man. You know? Uh, there's not a drug out there that I haven't fell in love with, you know? Um, and so then, uh, right before my middle son's born, that's 2012, you know, I get arrested like two days, you know, and I'm, I'm, I'm done. I don't even, they can't even wake me up for bond court, you know, like I'm, I'm that done. Xanax and, and whiskey, and. Surprised I didn't get shot out in the street by the, by the cops, you know? Um, and I thought that would be it. I thought that would be it. No, no. You know, it's, it was still, I had to, you know, feel I had to go through some more pain, man. Hmm. Because that's what I, as much as I hated it, that's, I was, it's what it was for me. It was your cycle. Right? It was my cycle, man. And, um, all right. So yeah. Enough about that, but the, it continued man till I was 43. Yeah. 43. You good? Yeah. Yeah. Um, yeah. 43 years old, man. I, at 42, I, uh, my mom told me that she was, uh, not doing well. She had multiple myeloma. So, um, started, uh, that journey, um, being there for her. Uh, but then I found myself drinking in the, in the garage and blowing so much cocaine, man, that it was just, it was insane. It was insane. Um. Again, I couldn't stop. And, uh, this is where, this is where the story really begins for me, um, with God. And, uh, I made videos to my kids. I, I, I, I made something for my wife and I don't think she's ever, it disturbs her to even want to know what I said. But, um, I asked God to take me home that night and, and I had never tried to commit suicide. I never tried to not want to be here. Re regardless of all the bad stuff, I kind of just explained the last half hour, four minutes, whatever. Um, I never wanted to take my life, but I, I, I couldn't do it anymore. I mean, my wife was leaving. She didn't want the kids to be around. Um, now this, by this time, little Wyatt's born, so now we have three boys, you know, we got Wyatt Cashin and Michael Love'em all. And Mercedes, you know, and, um, yeah, I made them videos and I, I said, man, please take me, you know. If, but if you don't take me, I'll do whatever I need to do to stay sober one day at a time. And I didn't have a program back, you know, none, nothing like that. And, um,

Omar: 54:56

what, what, what was your way of taking yourself out? What, what were you gonna do? I after you, the video?

Scott: 55:01

I just ask. I just ask. God did not let me wake up, man. I don't know. I drank my Okay, but you didn't have nothing. Yeah, no. My last, I drank a half gallon of, of vodka and did my last eight ball of cocaine. But this was, at this point, this was a normal day for me for two years. Wow. You know, um, the amount of money I owed and my mortgage wasn't getting paid. The, the bills were just in arrears. Again, my wife said she loved me, but she couldn't do it. Yeah. She couldn't do it. I don't blame her, man. Oh, right, right. I mean, um, yeah, it was chaotic, man. I was angry. The kids didn't wanna be around me, you know? Um, I started hurting people, man. Tired of bringing shame to everybody, you know, depending on who around they, they didn't even know, right? Like, I don't even know how that's even possible, but I could be around certain people. I had no idea. And then as soon as I leave and that door closes, you know, every water bottle I have, it has vodka in it. You know, I can't even go get outta my truck. I mean, leave my wife and kids in there.'cause I come out and I could see my wife shaking her head and she's pulling bottles out from underneath my seats and stuff.'cause I'm drinking all day. Yeah. I'm drinking all day, morning to night, you know. Um, but it wasn't working anymore man. It wasn't working.'cause I was in more pain fd up and

Omar: 56:19

Wow.

Scott: 56:20

Ever. Yeah, yeah. Ever, man. Uh, so I didn't really have a plan except for I, I, I knew I was dying, man. Like, I, I just felt my insides were just dying. They were, my organs were surprised they didn't shut down, but I could feel it, man. So I just asked them to finish it for me and, and, you know, I didn't. I didn't have a plan. Yeah. Uh, but maybe that's the good plan is that God woke me up, man.

Omar: 56:43

Amen.

Scott: 56:43

And that was at 43 years old man. It was 3 21 of 21. And, um, I went to Haymarket, my wife took me, and I was supposed to do a 28 day program. And, um, I lasted a day and I walked out and the, the counselor there said, you're gonna go home and you're gonna get drunk. And I said, no, ma'am. I pulled out a picture of all my kids, my whole family, and I said, now I'm gonna stay sober. Didn't know how, didn't had no, how I found the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous man. And, you know, I'm a 12 stepper. Um, and that them 12 steps led me to Christ man. Mm. And you know,'cause God, you know, Christ was knocking the whole time. Man, I'm stubborn and we'll get to that too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that, you know, um. Second day sober. I, I, I just met guys and, and, and, and they knew how I felt. And the miracle thing about, it's even second, third day in, I'm not having detoxes now. I've been in every county jail around here detoxing on the, on the concrete man. You know how that 26 is, man, like underneath the toilet, you know? Um, the most miraculous thing is that I didn't get sick this time.

Omar: 57:59

Wow.

Scott: 58:00

I asked God into my life now. It wasn't through Christ at that time. Yeah. It was like, I thought I could have this good, orderly direction and, and I, I just love God. Right. You know? Um, but I'm getting to work. I'm starting to work on all these things in my life. These character, uh, defects, they call'em and trying to get that down. But most of all is like, can I be, do I believe or am I able to believe that there's this power out there?

Omar: 58:26

Higher power. Greater higher power greater

Scott: 58:28

than myself?'cause again, I. My, my dad was military and, and three boys. Like, you just did things. You got it done. Yes. You, I know. And, uh, for once in my life I was honest with myself. And, and I believe, I believe, and that's when God started to work in my life, you know, uh, where I could feel it. At least, you know, I had started, um, people in my life didn't want to hear me talk, man. They just wanted to see things. Yeah. But immediately all my relationships got better immediately, you know, I was that dude, I'm, I'm showing up every day, man. I'm going two to three meetings, you know, and, and I'm, I'm around Christian brothers, man, you know, that were very patient with me.'cause I tested man, I, you know, now I'm a year, uh, you know, we'll just, we will fast forward through all the, all of the work.

Omar: 59:17

So, so it's barely been a year that you started that, this journey from uh, uh, 12 steps.

Scott: 59:23

Yes. Okay. So now that's 2021. So now we'll go into 2022. Okay.

Omar: 59:27

Okay. Yeah, yeah,

Scott: 59:27

yeah. So two, uh, yeah, 20, 22. You know, now I'm, um, I'm doing hypnosis. I'm doing meditations now'cause I'm an alcoholic drug addict, you know, recovery, right? Like, I start doing energy healing and I wanna become a reiki master.

Omar: 59:45

Well, what's that?

Scott: 59:46

Um, it's, it's intuitive, um, setting. It's, it's energy healing. Yeah. So basically, um, depending on who your reiki master is, is, is bringing in their, uh, their idols. We'll call'em. Right? Like,

Omar: 1:00:03

yeah,

Scott: 1:00:03

my experience is good. I have nothing but good things to say. Yeah. Yeah. Until I get to the Christian walk. Yeah. Yeah. Like, yeah, I got you. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, I'm feeling better. Yeah. I'm feeling. Cleared, you know, like what they would call is your shockers, right? Like all my stuff is starting to line, like I'm feeling really good. I'm staying sober. This obsession's been lifted. Yeah, my relationships are good. I'm going to work every day. I'm starting to be able to pay my bills a little bit more on time. You know, like things are really changing in life, man.'cause it was a wreck. And, um, then my mom comes to me and, and yeah, that's 2022. Mom says that, uh, she's got multiple myeloma and she's going to do stem cell, uh, thing. So now, now I want to back up, not back up, but also put in there that my twin brother's sober. He's got sober a year before me. Oh, okay.'cause he got his own issue. Yeah. Yeah. He ended up in court and had sober up. And he did. And, and, and he did it his way and, right, right, right. I'm proud of that kid too. Um, but, um, now, so now I'm going to meetings, I'm, I'm helping others. I'm even on the board of directors out at the, at this club there to go to Yeah. And going to work and, and going to help my mom, you know, and just be there for my mom. Now we're starting to have a relationship and, you know, it's, things are good in life. Yeah. And, uh, but I just don't have this peace, if that makes sense. Like I'm still, I'm still certain things in life could not trigger the use, but my anger, you know, um, still working through things, you know, but, but I'm there for my ma and I only mention that'cause in a few minutes I'm gonna talk about that piece.

Omar: 1:01:50

Okay. Amen.

Scott: 1:01:51

You know, so at two, uh, 2022, um, going through that, uh, new Year's ma, she starts her stem cells and it's horrible. It's horrible for my ma I, you know, there's not curable cancers, bone and blood cancer, so they're trying everything. And my poor ma you know, so, so now we're into 2023 and. And now I'm a little over two years sober. And, um, I, I would go out and, and do this daily surrender, which now is prayer. Right? Okay. Like I, I would go out and pray. I'd spend time just in quiet in nature. And I got a call from my baby's mother at, uh, 5 0 2 on June 6th, 2023. And by this time, my child support's over, God bless her. She does her thing. I'm doing mine, you know, like it's my, uh, my daughter's 20 years old now, or our daughter's 20 years old. And, uh, at 5 0 2 in the morning, I get that call and I already know, I already know. I pick it up and I say hello, and, and she's like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything I said about you. And I'm like, what are you talking about? And she said, Mercedes passed away. She died in a car wreck. Your daughter. Our daughter drinking and driving. So you were expecting the call for your mom though, right? Or it was my baby's mother that called me. So I knew, I knew, I knew right here, right away. Oh, I knew my child support was over, you know what I mean? Like that relationship kind of ended, right? Like there it, so there was

Omar: 1:03:28

no need for communication still.

Scott: 1:03:29

Right At 5 0 2, it was right in my meditation time and, and talking with God, you know?

Omar: 1:03:34

Man, what I was thinking is, I know you mentioned your mom being sick. That's, I thought that was the call you were expecting, you know, like, but man, you would think, you would think, right. I got you. So, okay, so you get this call from your baby's mother, your baby's mother, and said, man, what, what does that do to you?

Scott: 1:03:52

Man, I couldn't breathe, man. I've been knocked out. I've been my own brother stabbed me. Been through some horrible stuff in life, man. It was probably, I. The worst minute of, of, of just, of, of the night before she was on my mind. And I know she, she was struggling financially, but again, I'm, I'm still getting outta the rears mi and I didn't call her man because, uh, I couldn't help her with the money that she wanted. So I was gonna give it a couple days till I got paid. And, and uh, if somebody's on your mind and it's in your heart to call that person, don't wait.'cause you might never get that chance.'cause that's what happened in my life is that, um, I didn't call her that night and she passed away, man. You know, she was in a horrific car wreck, man. 80 miles an hour, just like that. Right? Right into a tree.

Omar: 1:04:50

No way.

Scott: 1:04:51

Burned for 30 minutes, man.

Omar: 1:04:53

No way, man.

Scott: 1:04:55

Sorry to hear that. That's so, so that was tough. I went and woke up my wife and um, I went right to my sponsor and my sponsors a Christian, and we prayed, man. And that was the beginning of my final surrender, you know? Um, it wasn't, it wasn't there yet. Still. Yeah. Yeah. I was still, I was still gonna test it, the beginning of it. Yeah. It was, I was still gonna test it, you know? Um, I, I don't even know, kind of know where to go with that, except for, uh, five weeks later my mom passes, you know? Um, at 67 years old. Um, my brother and I were there with my wife and, and there's a lot of great things. And, you know, there was a guy, he's, uh, he's my sponsor. He is a big part of Mercedes Ann Foundation and, and that, but I would look out at this brother, man, he'd be down in the parking lot, praying, praying for my mom, praying for us. I was like, wow, that's special. Like, I never, I know my mom prayed for her twins, well, her whole family, but especially the twins, you know, that she would never have to bury'em, you know? Mm-hmm. And, and so we got to take care of my mom the last two weeks of her life, you know? And. And, and administer morphine. Like who would've ever thought the twins would hold morphine Right. When and not take it, you know? So it's a blessing, you know, uh, her, my, again, my mom was Catholic, and so all of her priests, I don't even know the names of'em. Yeah. But they all came in, they gave her last rights and, and she, she, um, she struggled, um, like pain wise and stuff. So it, it was the best thing is just to keep her numb to all of that. And, um, watched her take her last breath, man. And, and I knew then she made it to heaven. I knew she made it the kingdom, right? Like it, that, that look that she had on her face, I, I knew right then and there. Um, that's something that I wanted,'cause I'd watched her go through all this pain and this, you know, misery and, I don't know. It was the most, I it is not even bad, bro. It was so. Thank you Lord, man. You know? So a blessing man. Yeah, a blessing. And, uh, I'm only speaking for myself. No, no, right. I can't speak for everyone else. Yeah. Can't see, you know, that was around her, but my wife was, was there and, and, uh, it was amazing. So that was, uh, in July. So Sadie had passed in June, July, my mom passed, and then in August, uh, this is all in sobriety now. It's, but I'm spending a lot of time with God of my understanding at that point. Yeah. I'm really, I'm connected, man. I, you know, I'm no doing my best not to judge people. I'm not lying. I, I, I got compassion. I'm empathetic. I'm helping people, like all these good things. I'm disciplined. I'm aware of things. I'm, I'm honest, bro. For once I'm being honest in my life. So, um, my wife, uh, worked same job 19 years and, uh, our lives are built on our two incomes. And, and you know, we. We each to take care of things and Yeah. And whatever. And her mom has been watching our kids ever since they were babies. And, uh, her mom got sick in August, so

Omar: 1:08:08

the same year.

Scott: 1:08:09

Oh yeah. June, July, August. Now. So that devil's real, bro. You know, when, when I, I used to like, I never got it when people be like, man, I'm getting attacked.

Omar: 1:08:18

Yeah.

Scott: 1:08:19

I felt like I was getting attacked, man. The, the devil wanted twin back man. He wanted Scott back, you know, and, um, through

Omar: 1:08:25

pain, right? Yeah,

Scott: 1:08:28

man. Your whole

Omar: 1:08:28

life was pain. Pain, man. Pain drove you to that. Yeah. Yeah. Pain after pain, after pain,

Scott: 1:08:33

pain. And, uh, I, I turned my back on, on Satan, man. On, on the devil man. I, uh, I was walking with, with the father at that point, even though I, yeah, yeah. I still hadn't, you know, called the father Hadn surrendered to the Lord. Uh, but my wife, we had to make a decision who would, um, who would stay at work, you know, she was. Paying my part of my taxes. She carried our health insurance. My money at that time was starting to be a little bit better, but she was also bringing home x amount of money each month. And I dunno how we were gonna do it, man. We got three boys, mortgages, trucks, insurance, all this, you know, you get it. And, uh, we decided to, to let her leave her job after 19 years. And, and I would, um, continue doing what I do Yeah. And looking for opportunity and, and everything. Right. That's what I mean. Everything. Yeah. Uh, legal. Legal. Yeah. Yeah. Right, right. Legally legit. Like, um, just not waste time, man. Yeah. And um, so yeah, that was the three months of, uh, I leaned on the Lord, bro. I leaned on the Lord. Even though I would go out to places and I'd be like, I'd leave my house and I'd be like, Hey, I'm going to, I'm gonna find Jesus. And my wife was rooting for me. Because my wife was praying, you know, um, I didn't know it at that time, but she was praying that I would just find the Lord. And, um,

Omar: 1:10:04

now, was she a believer?

Scott: 1:10:05

She is, yes. Absolutely. Okay, so prior

Omar: 1:10:07

to you

Scott: 1:10:08

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But we didn't have, but we didn't do church and she, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry. She, uh, we weren't like going to church. We weren't practicing, but she was praying. Okay. You know, again, we got married in the Catholic church and her, it's, it's different now.

Omar: 1:10:24

Gotcha. So, so she was, um, so your wife grew up Catholic? Yeah, absolutely. So she knew about Jesus? Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. She

Scott: 1:10:31

was definitely Jesus. So she was praying to Jesus and Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Now, so I would go out to these spots, man, and I'd be like, Jesus, man, show me if you're real, show me and I'm talking. I could go out on a dark, cloudy, rainy day, and when I say that and I would hold my hands up, this little bit of light would come right on my forehead. I'm not kidding, bro. I'd be like, I mean, it would hit me right here. I'd be like, nah, nah. I'd get in my truck, first car I would see license plate J Christ. Like, nah, man, dude. Yes. Yeah,

Omar: 1:11:06

yeah, yeah. Builder.

Scott: 1:11:07

Yeah. Yeah, man. So you get it, you get it. And, um, you know, it, I surrendered. Mm, I surrendered. And it looks a lot different in that surrender in, in the end of, I'm trying to think. So we're in 25 now, about 20, 24. Okay. Is when it really, you know, um, life started to change, man. Yeah. You know, I, I could say Jesus Christ, I could, I could say Lord without leaving it a bad taste in my mouth. Yeah. I had a lot of pride and a lot of ego man, that, um, that I put down and, um, I would start talking with the father, you know, and. And just start praying, like learning how to pray. Yeah. Yeah. But it was just, my heart had already been changed. I started to get filled with the Holy Spirit and I, dude, I was, I was moving, Lord was, was in me, and he was leading the way. Man. I, again, my wife lost her job. And, and all of this, I mean, that summer, I, so, mind you, through all my 18 years with this company, I worked every day pretty much. When I got sober, I asked them to cut me down to five days a week.

Omar: 1:12:20

Okay.

Scott: 1:12:20

Because I would work six and sometimes seven. I, that's whole summer off, you know, between going to Michigan to grab Sadie's remains and mom's journey and my wife, like the money wasn't there, but the Lord always provided.

Omar: 1:12:36

Wow.

Scott: 1:12:36

And I would thank him. I never, I leaned on my faith, bro.

Omar: 1:12:39

Amen.

Scott: 1:12:41

I thank God. I thank God for the time we had and I, you know, I had confessed, I had. I had repented, I had been honest, man. And, and my heart was soft at that time, man. Yes. And it was no longer, again, like, it didn't leave a bad taste in my mouth like it did my whole life, man. I was mad at God forever. Yeah. You know? Um, I'm grateful, man. Amen. Because, uh, it's only by God's grace, man.

Omar: 1:13:12

Yes, sir. It's

Scott: 1:13:12

all glory to God. And, and, and I, and I thank the father for always having his hand on me and in Christ, man, and, and believing in that trinity and, and the resurrection and, you know, all of that. That today is very powerful in my life. Amen.

Omar: 1:13:26

I,

Scott: 1:13:26

I'm getting more into scripture and, and, and, and my wife and I will read the Bible, but I've started, uh, Bible studies and with guys, and Eddie, you, you talked about Eddie. Yes. Shout out to Eddie, bro. Amen. That's my man. You know, he's, he's one of them guys that I've watched and he knew me four years ago. When I wasn't a believer. Okay,

Omar: 1:13:46

gotcha.

Scott: 1:13:46

All of that, man. So I, I don't think he's ever told me, but I think he was rooting for me, you know, but he was one of'em dudes that, um, he was solid man and still is. So now we've, we've really, you know, we work together.

Omar: 1:13:59

Got got willing. We're gonna have him on the podcast. Absolutely. We're supposed get here, get together. Yeah. Eddie's got a heck of a

Scott: 1:14:04

testimony, man. Uh, it's a lot different than mine. Yeah. Uh, but, and yours is different than, like, that's the cool thing about it is, is God uses all of us in, in so many different ways, man. And I get it today. I'm not from the streets even though I ended up on the streets, right. Like I'm, it's,

Omar: 1:14:21

you know what I think we, we, we, we, we could relate and especially a lot of people, I believe that hear your story gonna relate to, to the trauma. The trauma and everything, man. That, that, that, that, that's why one thing, uh, that this, um, doing this podcast has opened my eyes to is that it's easy to judge somebody when you see the end result. When you see somebody behind bars, oh man, these are absolutely, he's a criminal, he's an animal. But then, you know what, I, I've been sitting down and talking to guys and they share their journey, their childhood things that had childhood,

Scott: 1:14:51

that, that wrong, wrong choice.

Omar: 1:14:53

Yeah. And, and not even the wrong choice, but what was done to them Yeah, yeah, yeah. Into doing. Yeah. That leads into all this, you know, like, it is, like, you, you don't know their journey. You don't know what led'em there. What,

Scott: 1:15:05

yeah. I learned to pray for guys. I, I learned to pray for sick people in my life. That it wasn't part of it, it wasn't me. It was their journey. You know? Uh, again, I'm super grateful today, uh, that the Lord let me experience so many different homes, so many different states. I mean, I didn't even talk about the fishing that you do with my brothers, like we were outdoors kids. And like that was part of that journey too. You know, it's just, um. I experienced a lot in life, man. Lot all around the country, you know? You know, I wanted

Omar: 1:15:34

to ask you, I know you got this paper. I don't know if it's a good time to talk about this or, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You, you, you wanna share it?'cause I, I know you mentioned your, your, your daughter and then this. Yeah, absolutely. Uh oh. But is there something you wanted to share before that, before this? Uh, so,

Scott: 1:15:46

uh, just 20, 24, I just, you know, I just really want to, uh,'cause I know my wife is gonna watch this and, and, um, it's all glory to the father and, and that we, we have joy in our home today. We, um, I love my kids. My kids love me, my wife loves me. Um, she came to me, it took three years. My wife tells me she trusts me today. Amen. Because, uh, I wasn't a trustworthy guy, man. Yeah. You know, so if you're, if you're newly on that walk, time takes time, man. That's the, that's what I can say is time takes time and. And, um, if, if you're like me, uh, words don't mean anything, man. So it is having to show up and, and staying in action and, um, admit when I'm wrong. It's still tough sometimes, but I find I'm not doing it so often, bro. Man. So it's, it's, you

Omar: 1:16:39

know what, uh, I heard somebody say this Walk with God. Yes. It's not about perfection, it's about progress. Yeah. Progress, not perfection. Yeah. You know, where we're constantly making progress. He's constantly working in us and like you said, it's less and less Right. That

Scott: 1:16:53

man, it's less and less again that spirit's on fire. Amen. You know, that's spirit's on fire and, and you'll, if you're like me, um, you get around good brothers man and, and sisters man. Yeah. That are in the word and, and that their prayer life is real.'cause I'm a prayer man. Okay. Even sometimes it's not out, out loud. It's, it's, it's, it's communion with God all day. You know, just, uh. Yeah. I'm happy, Joyce. I'm free today, man. Amen. And, and I thank, thank the father. Um, but I just wanna say no good. Yeah. I just wanted to say, uh, to my wife that, um, you know, I love her today. Um, yeah, she's a rock man.

Omar: 1:17:32

Mm-hmm.

Scott: 1:17:33

And God knew, has that plan. Had that plan. Yeah. And, and I thank, I thank God, man,

Omar: 1:17:39

I, I, I think about that, that you had that picture up there. You, you guys weren't even together and you said, man, nothing. One day I'm gonna marry that woman, man.

Scott: 1:17:46

And so, yeah, we'll be married, uh, this year, 18 years, man. Wow. Look at that. But only by the grace of God, man, the grace of God that she, she stuck around,

Omar: 1:17:53

you know what I'm saying? I'm sure there was plenty. I know you mentioned that one time she was getting ready to leave and I'm sure there had a few be a few instances throughout your whole

Scott: 1:18:00

Oh man. It was, it was constant man. Yeah. There for a few years. It was constant. Like I, I'd come home and she'd just be crying. So she's on her healing journey. She's, she's doing great things. Uh, so she's a breath work facilitator man, and that, so whoa, whoa,

Omar: 1:18:15

whoa. What's that? Uh,

Scott: 1:18:15

uh, so she does faith-filled breath work, so if you guys wanna do some faith-filled breath work, please, uh, do well, what is that? I'm not familiar with that. Right? Yeah. So it's, uh, reset breath work, so it's praise music and she gets, I usually, it's about 15 or 20 of us together and, and we breathe. So it's a three part breathe. So it's a, it's a belly chest, passive exhale. And I've never done that. Yeah. Well, you're gonna come out and you're gonna do one your wife life. Lemme know. Lemme know. Yeah. No, for real. Absolutely. Absolutely. And you guys do

Omar: 1:18:43

that with, with worship music you said Praise music. Yeah, absolutely. All

Scott: 1:18:46

praise music, man. Yeah, it's cool. We're, we're actually trying to get her into like DuPage, uh, county. I really want to get her with the just, uh, Mike Berry. And, uh, so I just talked to him Mendrick last night. I invited them out actually. Uh, him and his wife and, and so I hope that you guys come out for the end of the month one, um, right, yeah. Yeah. It's a tool for these guys, bro. Amen. It's to breathe. It's our breath. God gives us our breath. Yes. Like, it's just, we gotta learn how to use it properly.

Omar: 1:19:15

What, what, what are the effects for somebody, like, I know you mentioned you guys gotta check it out. Why, why, why, why should they go check it out? Yeah, go ahead. Okay. So

Scott: 1:19:22

we're gonna, uh, uh, well, because she can explain it a lot better than me, but I do know that we bury so much in life that we don't even know we're carrying sometimes, you know, we think we're, we're free and we have this relationship, but. Again, I've shared some things that I'm free from, but there was times when I was just so buried. I didn't know how, like, I've watched people cry. I've watched people scream. I've watched people giggle. I've watched people laugh me. Like I'm just, I'm just free when I breathe now.

Omar: 1:19:55

Amen.

Scott: 1:19:55

When I do it, when we sit there and, and so we're doing it one Sunday when, when we do it Sunday, uh, I'm not so cluttered anymore. Again, you know, I, I walk the walk today. Mm, thank you Lord. You know, like I'm pretty free. Amen. So I'm able just to enjoy it, but it, it's a trip, man. It's, it's healing. Um, I've had nothing but good things to say and a lot of my friends and, and, and strangers and just members in the community are really getting into it. And, and again, we just want to introduce, introduce it to the uh, uh, guys in custody. Gotcha. You know, and women too.'cause you know, obviously she could facilitate it too to women for women because it's just a tool in that Yeah. For them just to. To help, man. Yeah. Yeah, dude, it's awesome. We release some of that

Omar: 1:20:38

stuff. You, you, you mentioned, I know a, a lot of people carry a, a baggage man, and we just, especially, uh, as men, we could be, uh, what is the word? The stuffers. Stuffers, yeah. We stuff down and man, I I'm, I, I don't wanna feel that, you know, I'm not gonna, yeah. I'm just gonna bury it and man, I'm gonna call it out right now. It's like you, you, you ever watch Seinfeld? Yeah. Wrote up a serenity Now. Serenity. Serenity. Now what they say Serenity now and sanity later, man. That's how it is, man. Unfortunately, man, we, yeah, go ahead.

Scott: 1:21:04

Yeah. All, you know, I don't know who's watching this, but I, I hope that this hitch is, is because like when we start stuffing stuff and we become these people that we're not, like, then we become this, this, this tough hurt kid. Like, and it's just a mask. And it's okay not to be a hard, a hard dude on the streets. Like I. If that makes sense to you. Like when we're young. No, it doesn't. Makes sense. We, we, we, we, we think we gotta be the hardest dude on the block or, or and you know, wherever you come from. And I get it, some areas are tougher and you gotta just in generally speaking, be yourself, man. Yeah. Be what God created us to be. You know? And, and, and that's to love one another. And, and you can't love one another when you got this hard Yeah. Facade up all the time and Yeah. Just clear that junk. Yeah. You know

Omar: 1:21:57

what I, I think, uh, this, this podcast interview, I'll probably release it probably in May. So, uh, this coming Monday, I'm getting ready to release one, another one that I did in Kiwani. I still got two interviews left. Oh, nice. That haven't released. Dumb are really cool, man. Yeah, yeah. Good things. So the, the, the brother that's coming up, I, I know you mentioned this about being hard and you know, having this the bro, I was listening to it guy, so I'm getting ready to edit it and he said this brother was sentenced to 60 years, so he had to do 30. He ends up catching more time'cause he's in there. Oh yeah. Got this status. He wants to make a name for himself in prison. But he said, I love this story. He said, I get locked in the cell. I'm watching Discovery Channel, watching some puppy show. And he said, he starts almost tearing up watching the puppies. They're like, man, look it, they're so cute. But then he said, as soon as that door pops, it all different. He's like, I gotta step on the, on the gallery, on the deck and be a killer. And then he, he said like, man, there's something wrong. Something's not right with me. And man, it's, that's a tough spot to be in, man. Man, I, I, I love how real that is. Yeah, yeah. Like, this is a man who had like, status, you know, whatever he was doing in there, out in the street and in there. And then, man, that, that thing that explains what you're talking about. Yeah,

Scott: 1:23:09

absolutely. 100%, man. Like, you know, and, and when you're doing that and you're carrying that, you know, whether it's on the, the gallery, the tier or, or just out on the street, like when that person driving and they, they make you upset, you react differently. When your heart's not soft, man. Yeah. You're not carrying that love and that compassion. You're not walking the walk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That Christian walk that. Yeah. Like if you, you wake up and you pray and you say you're grateful for opportunities and, and then the first opportunity you get, you blow it. Come on, man. Yeah. You do some really crazy things, man. So, hey,

Omar: 1:23:47

you, you know what I want to ask you?'cause I know you mentioned, you know, calling out to Jesus Yes. Over a year ago or something. Mm-hmm. But you said that two months ago something changed. Yeah, absolutely. You, you, you, you, you, you wanna talk about that. What, what, what happened recently, I guess. Well,

Scott: 1:23:59

and so yeah. That leads up into the last year of RTO kind of Okay. You know, walking in them doors. So I guess to talk about RT is, yeah, yeah, go ahead. Is how I ended up at RTO is that, um, our connect, my connection with Mercedes was once after all the courts, and that is, we went out and fished the girl, loved to fish, man. And, and we talked about, and we chopped it up. I mean, more. Uh, more at eight years old, we would talk about than, uh, than I'd talk about with my 15-year-old, if that makes sense. Like it was freedom for us. We got a fishing rod in our hand, we went outdoors, you know, we spent a lot of time, it was life before like cell phones and, and all that took over, you know, so we really connected. And, um, so she was, you know, no longer with us. It is like, how do we carry on this legacy, you know? Uh, because sh she, I know, I know for a fact that my absence impacted my daughter's life for the first few years, you know, fatherless homes. And, and, and this ain't about her mom, but her mom would have to do whatever she had to do with all the kids and, and you know, these, these, these children that are, are in Mercedes situations. Like she was, it was, they're just silent victims in this man. Yeah. And you know, they. Have to fend for themselves a lot of times, or they don't get to go on spring break, they don't have any luxuries like normal households have, you know? And, uh, and so I had to think about that. And then my mom, you know, again, she passed right after that. She was talking about volunteering, but my mom wasn't going home. My mom wasn't, uh, but the Lord was, was using my ma to plant that seed. And so, uh, that's how the Mercedes and Foundation was, was founded. Uh, I started talking with the lady and she actually went and prayed and, um, she was a member at Compass Church in Wheaton where RTO is. Yes. And she helped me set up the 5 0 1 C3. We're a nonprofit. And, uh, and, and, and what our mission is, is, is to get kids outdoors that have been impacted by a parent's incarceration. We get'em outdoors to educate, to grow emotionally and spiritually. So we're, we're doing fishing events, fishing clinics, start bible studies at our foundation. So now we have an office on the lake. It's, it's a little over 2000 square feet. We just had, uh, 15 kids out this last Saturday, and we had, uh, 12 volunteers from the Lutheran Church out in, in Wheaton most amazing day. You know, everyone else is on spring break, but not, not the kids impacted by on, on this, you know? And it was powerful, man. It was beautiful, man. That's

Omar: 1:26:36

awesome.

Scott: 1:26:36

Yeah. So, uh, so the, you know, we're growing. We look a lot different than we did last year, and obviously now we have this space since last July, and, and it's, the Lord has put it on my heart and, and, and the Lord. Um, Honestly has led this, takes care of it. Um, buttons everything up for us. Like, I mean, it's not me man. It's, um, I tried to put it slow it down. People would be like, man, you're over your skis, twin, you know, all this stuff. And I'd be like, you know, when you, back in the day when you were doing something wrong, I always knew right from wrong, man. I always did. So when I stepped out on that wrong, I got this, uh, this was different man. This time I knew what was right and I tried to slow it down and the Lord said, Uhuh that spirit. No. So I just, you know, he, he, he put me in situations, he put me in rooms with people that I could have never imagined I'd talk to today, man.

Omar: 1:27:28

Amen.

Scott: 1:27:29

And, um, yeah, the, we don't get any support except for, uh, like no outside support. So no grants or. And we get all local support and people that believe in us, you know? And so this is,

Omar: 1:27:41

oh man, first of all, man, praise God for what you're doing. That's awesome. Praise. Yeah.

Scott: 1:27:45

Thank you.

Omar: 1:27:45

Because

Scott: 1:27:46

I love

Omar: 1:27:46

the

Scott: 1:27:46

outdoors, man. Oh man. So we're gonna hook up. Oh no, definitely, man. Uh,

Omar: 1:27:50

uh, growing up, I remember when I was little one time growing fishing with my uncle when I never forgot it. Man. Man, you know, I grew up in Chicago my whole life and it wasn't until I got born again and I got saved that I always had a desire for the outdoors. So once I had my kids, man, we discovered hiking, love, hiking, okay. Fishing. You know, we're, I'm not an expert, but man, we'd be catching some fish, man. We just, you'd be catching Tie the hook, throw it out there. Alright. It's a date, brother. You know what I'm saying? A now for real. Yeah, for real. But, but, but speaking of that, uh, I know you mentioned we don't get a lot of support. Do you guys have a website or somewhere where people could donate or contribute? Absolutely. Yes. It's, uh, Mercedes,

Scott: 1:28:30

uh, it's Mercedes and foundation.org. Um. We can, we are outta Wheaton.

Omar: 1:28:36

How do you spell that? Can you spell that? So just in case they gotta type it up?

Scott: 1:28:39

It's, yes. M-E-R-S-A-D-E-S-A-N-N foundation.org. Uh, we're out of, uh, Wheaton, Illinois, 6 0 180 7. Uh, we're a 5 0 1 C3 and, uh, we're doing, we're doing the Lord's work, man. You know, it's, it's kingdom work, you know, it's, um, it's, it touches me, man. Yeah, it touches me. You know. So, really quick to, because I'll forget. No, go ahead. But Miss Michelle. So, miss Michelle, she has a nonprofit in town and she's the one that helped set this up. After she heard me talking about stuff, she's like, oh, you got something here. And that's how it all started. But she's like, I. I really think you should meet the somebody, and, and again, she's at Compass Church and that's where RTO is at. Yeah. And uh, she's like, you should meet this guy. I think he could really help you out on, on the children, because Scott's idea is like, oh, kids are gonna come out of the woodwork and people are gonna trust you with kids. Like, it's not that way. So I, you know, it's, it's been a grind on that aspect, but it's, it's coming together. It's just, it keeps showing up and it's, it's that love. It's the compassion. And I talk to everybody about the foundation. I'm in front of homeowners all day. I'm always talking, not necessarily about roof, but I'm talking about foundation work, you know? Um, but, and, uh, so she's like, Hey, can you meet me there on Thursday night? And this was last year. And like, yeah, we'll meet this guy. And, and so now I'm, I'm trusting in the Lord, but it's still all fresh. It's new, it's, it's, you know, I'm not really, I feel like I'm, I'm going to church, but I'm not really. Vibing yet, you know, I'm still kind of being like, I'm, I'm still closed off a little bit. I'm still not ready to let it all out.'cause I'm, I'm in the suburbs. It's, these people aren't like my past and that, you know, so I'm kind of reserved, so.

Omar: 1:30:30

Yeah. Yeah.

Scott: 1:30:31

Uh, but I, I walked in right before I walked into Compass Church and RTO that first night, uh, miss Michelle called me and said she couldn't go. Something came up and she's sorry, but she couldn't go. But I was already there, so I, I put a name tag on and, and, and I hear that,

Omar: 1:30:48

oh yeah, yeah.

Scott: 1:30:50

You know, he said, I didn't even know what it was at first. Yeah. I'm like, and now I get it right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm like, whoa. Um, like, it was intimidating to me, like, so I sat on the back row, right. Like, dude, I'm trying to walk this Christian walk, bro. Yeah. And it was just, it was a, it was a little much, I had never experienced anything like that. I'd never walked into a room like that. And it was, it was packed.

Omar: 1:31:12

Yeah.

Scott: 1:31:12

And I stayed about five minutes and it's not'cause I didn't enjoy it, I said, but if I'm here and, and I'm who I say I am. I, I really, I need to go pray. I need to, I need to work on my relationship. I need to, um, again, just pray on it. Yeah. Yeah. I just gotta pray on it. I gotta, I gotta get more spiritually connected, I felt like. Yeah. Yeah. If I was, if I was gonna pray on it and, and go talk to Manny Mills, it was gonna take more than what I felt that night. Yeah. It took nine months, man. It took me nine months to come back.

Omar: 1:31:46

Wow. What, what happened that made you go back nine months later?

Scott: 1:31:51

Uh, because, uh, just shortly before that is really when I made the decision. Now I didn't, that wasn't where my baptism or anything had was is, is just, I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. But it was still kind of like on the fence kind. It wasn't a solid rock solid. Um. Foundation, I guess, you know, I belief, but I didn't really believe, like I had the belief, but if I was out in public and you asked me about Jesus, I would, you know? Gotcha. I'm good, man. You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, no, I'm all in brother. You know, like today, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Uh, so I had to work on that, man. Yeah. I had to, um, I, I, I, I started to hit my knees. I put my, that pride and that ego went aside.'cause before that, for years, literally every day I would take cold plunges and I would surrender and make sure my feet were on the earth. And that's how I would talk to God. And I would never hit my knees.'cause I was, I was too good for that, right? Like, the day I hit my knees, bro, covered by that blood man, like, it was so peaceful. I got this peace that I had never, ever once had in my life, man, just by hitting my niece and amen. And making that honest surrender in my life and, and really believing, you know? And, and, and I, I, I told the Lord to use me. And, um, that's what he's done. So, so I went back into RTO this time by myself. I prayed on it, took a deep breath, I put a name tag on, and, and, and I said, Lord, if, if this is, if this is your will,'cause I was my wife. There was people in my life that we're with this.'cause again, this happened really quick, bro. Yeah. And it, it started, it grew like even after our second event now talking about an office on the lake and it was big money and, you know, we're broke, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, like when it comes to that. Yeah. And, uh, I said, God, if this is your will, let it be done. And I put that name tag on and there's a sea of people in there, bro. And, and you know the RTO Jim?

Omar: 1:33:59

Yeah.

Scott: 1:33:59

Yeah. They're, they're mix and match. I put my name tag on, I look up and for no reason'cause it wasn't time to start or whatever, I. The sea of people, just like Moses split. And on the other end of that was Manny Mills. I said, thank you, Lord. And I, I marched right towards him, introduced myself. He, he said, oh, yeah, yeah. And he said, you're gonna sit right here. So I sat on the front, he sat in the front, man. And that was the beginning. That was the beginning. And, um, what a connection, you know? Um, I love that man. About a week later, um, we are praying, man, he a big shout out to you, brother. Yes, yes, definitely. Pastor Mania Miller. He's a blessing my life as well, man. He is, uh, we prayed. I'm, I'm walking through, I'm, I'm at work, but I'm in Mariano's, in Wheaton. And, uh, um, I hear this, Scott, and, and nobody sounds like, man, at least not in my life, man, I'm like, and I'm half deaf anyway. Yeah. I'm like, I'm not sure. You know, so I keep walking and he's like, Scott, and uh, I'm like, oh, Manny. And now if you're, if you're not open to prayer, like, man, he prays, it can be a little uncomfortable.

Omar: 1:35:18

Yeah.

Scott: 1:35:19

You know, I'm, I don't come from a a, a place where we just openly pray, you know? I do now, but he is like, after our talk, he's, you know,'cause we had a good few minute talk and he's like, can I say say a short prayer with you? This is inside the store. Inside the store, man. Yeah. We're in front of the checkout lines and everything. I'm not gonna say no, you know? Yeah,

Omar: 1:35:39

yeah, yeah.

Scott: 1:35:39

Uh, and it was powerful, man. His short prayers last about eight minutes, man.

Omar: 1:35:46

Yeah. I love you brother.

Scott: 1:35:48

Uh, and, uh, you know, we were praying and, uh, I just felt it, man. I just, just peace man. Amen. And love and amen. And, and the truth because I, I, I worry about the truth, man. I don't wanna be around fake people today. And, and that's just what it is. And, um, mm-hmm. Dude, we get done praying and a lady comes up and she's like, that's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. And see two men praying, like, and she was serious. And Yeah. And then Manny lets out his, yeah. And he's loud. Hallelujah. And, and, and Barb comes up, she's like, what are you, you know, she knew what we were doing, but what are you doing? We gotta go here and there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And before that, another lady comes up and she's like, man, I just want you to know prayer's real, and it's powerful to watch the you two man. And she's like, before I came into the store, I prayed with my husband on the phone. And, and I knew right then and there that the Lord had put us together. Yes. You know? Um, because I, I, I need to be mens, I I I need to be discipled because Yeah. I, I'm, I feel it. I walked it.

Omar: 1:36:53

Yeah.

Scott: 1:36:54

I just need to know it.

Omar: 1:36:55

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Scott: 1:36:56

And so, um, yeah, he's been patient with me. Um, yeah. I love him man. Amen. And so, um.

Omar: 1:37:03

And that's been recently, that's the, the last couple months. Yeah.

Scott: 1:37:06

Yeah. So that's, uh, no, well, uh, October-ish. Okay. And then, yeah, so October, but then, um, yeah, it leads me up to our, my baptism. Okay. You know, publicly, um, man, I'm sharing with everybody to, I love, I have for Jesus Christ. Amen. Amen. My Lord and Savior man. And um, and that was even powerful in itself, man. Um, the guy that baptized me, and I'm sorry, Manny,'cause Manny was, he, I don't know if he's upset, that's probably the wrong word, but he came to me, he's like, I, I really wanted to baptize you, man, but I never, like my, my never, you know, so, right. Um, but I'm a roofer in town and, and about it was end of last year, I ended up at this guy's house and I had no idea that he was part of the Glen Ellen Bible Church and that he was an elder or any of this stuff, or, you know, I'm looking at a roof. Is that, where

Omar: 1:37:55

is that where you go? Glen Ellen?

Scott: 1:37:56

Yeah. Glen El Bible Church. Yep. It's sl. Where, where's that at? It's, um, downtown Glen Ellen. Okay. Uh, right off of Roosevelt and, uh, main Street. So literally before Compass, like if you're coming down Roosevelt going west, it's before Compass. Gotcha. On the, on the right down there. Beautiful church. Great. Uh, my kids all do their ministry youth ministries there. Great church. Um, I feel very welcome even. Amen. You know, even though I'd said earlier, it was kind of tough for me to say it was still me. Yeah. I,

Omar: 1:38:27

yeah, I, I'm, I'm glad you said that.'cause a lot of times it's us. Yeah. A lot. My wife tells me that I do that a lot. Yeah. Like I tell her, I go somewhere. I go somewhere and I tell man, you see how they're looking at you? Yeah. They're looking. Yeah,

Scott: 1:38:38

yeah, yeah. Absolutely, man. And my wife,

Omar: 1:38:41

my wife's like, ain't nobody looking at you. At you. Yeah.

Scott: 1:38:43

We're not that important, bro.

Omar: 1:38:47

We were, we were in La Grange just last, last Saturday. We went to, she had some frozen yogurt and I'm sitting there and I see some people go to the window and they, I'm sitting right by the window looking out. And I see the people looking, they look at me and I see the guy talking to his wife, and in my mind I'm thinking, oh, they're not coming in.'cause they're looking at me. I always like, man, you, she's like, you, you don't look scary to nobody. Yeah. You right. We should build it up though, bro. Yeah, you right. Yeah. Amen. So I'm glad I'm not the only one,

Scott: 1:39:15

you know? Um, so yeah. Where was I going with that? Glen Allen, Bible Church baptism. Yep. Uh, so this, I ended up at John's house doing a, looking at a roof repair. And before, after we got done with that, before I left, he's like, we're in his driveway. He's like, can we pray? I'm like, sure. He's the one that baptized me at Glen Allen Bible. That's how God, yeah. Yeah. Put us together months later. Um, and so he made this really cool, uh, journal and stuff out of the pictures, man. It was powerful, man. Amen. You know, I, I had all, all my close friends. Um, I don't have much family. My dad moved away after my mom passed and my brothers are gone. My brothers. Not a believer. I pray for him.

Omar: 1:39:57

Amen. I

Scott: 1:39:57

love him. I talk to him a lot. Uh, my other brother that lives in Indianapolis is, is, is a Christian. Uh, but it was all family and friends and, and Manny and Barb showed up and, and you know, John that, um, sings with Jim. Sometimes they play. I know.

Omar: 1:40:13

Was he at that meeting? Was it the RTO meeting where you were there? Absolutely. He, yes. They led some awesome worship man, so, well who was John? Was he the one that made his own song? Yes.

Scott: 1:40:23

Man,

Omar: 1:40:24

that's that my guy. I recorded it. That's my brother man. Is he?

Scott: 1:40:26

I've known him for about four years. Man. That was outside of RTO.

Omar: 1:40:29

That was a beautiful song that. He, he wrote, I'm gonna send it to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll send, it'll send to you. You know what, I'll, I'll, I'll put the link when I share this video. Yeah. Oh, on YouTube, you know, YouTube and the, and the description. Yes. You could put links. So I'll definitely tag, tag up. Definitely. It's on my

Scott: 1:40:44

playlist. I think as of last week, they said, Hey, I think we made like two and a half cents off a your, your shares. I literally shared a song with everybody. The do rolling in man. Uh, you know, uh, you know, I just love people today. Amen. Man, I, I, I have compassion in my life, man. Uh, and the Lord never

Omar: 1:41:07

gave up, man. You, you know, I wanna go back to something you said. Yeah. Earlier you said people would tell you that, man, your future is like, I already, ah, you know what I'm saying? What, what would you say to somebody who's been told that, you know what I'm saying? They, they never

Scott: 1:41:21

give up. Never give up. Don't, um, I, I know it can be tough. You can. You can be walking in the, in that deep valley man of, of despair and, and work on your relationship with Jesus Christ. You know, Jesus died for me. Jesus died for your sins. Like, I mean, I don't know how else to put it except for, man, there's a seat at this table, man. There's a seat at this table waiting on if you're in that man, and, and, and, and you ask the Lord into your life, man. And your life changes. Your heart changes your, your walk changes. I, you know, um,

Omar: 1:42:04

you know what I,'cause if Yeah,

Scott: 1:42:05

go ahead.

Omar: 1:42:06

I, I just wanna say like, you know, as I, I sit here, I have countless testimonies. Like if, if you've been watching this show and you hear testimony after testimony, I know you mentioned you could have a seat at this table. Mm. In a sense you could have a seat in this chair. In the chair, yeah. Like your life could be in darkness. You could be bound. Alcoholic drug addict, you know, all type of trauma or abuse. Abuse as a child. And God could heal you. Transform you, and not only you, but use you to be a blessing. Blessing. So, man, my, what I just feel is like you too could have a testimony, and it starts by putting, by putting. Not just putting, but making Jesus Christ, Lord and savior of your life. Man, God, first. Yeah. I know when you said that, I just had the image of the listener here. Yeah, yeah. Like right now, maybe you don't have a testimony. Maybe right now your story's all the bad. Mm-hmm. You haven't gotten to that turning point, but you could. And all it takes is a prayer.

Scott: 1:43:05

There's a song out there. He's like, uh, I forget who sings that, but he's like, the Lord can make your mess into a message. Yes. You know?

Omar: 1:43:14

Amen.

Scott: 1:43:15

And that's the truth, man. Amen. Is, is I was counted out early in life, man. Yeah. So many people, man, and, and, and just as of last night, I'm. I, I won't drop names, but I'm, you know what? I'm, I'm able to walk into rooms with guys that I used to run from. You know what I mean? I literally, I, I would run from, uh, the Lord has blessed us. You know, we have healthy kids and family. Our, our bills are, are paid scraping by. Exactly. We get by man. The Lord provides man. Yes. And if, if does it did it for me, he'll do it for you. Amen. You know, uh, there's absolutely no doubt and, and countless others, you know, it's, it's about believing, really believing. And, and, and there's work involved in that as well. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You know?

Omar: 1:44:03

Yeah.

Scott: 1:44:03

It's not like, it's just, uh, I don't know. It's, it's never been so good. I've never had it's all glory to God. And, and, and I get great joy in that man. You know? There's nothing I don't do that I, that I don't put God first. Man.

Omar: 1:44:15

You know what, earlier you said, I've never seen a joyful Christian. I, I could tell you this much. Yeah, man. I, I see one here, man, brother. Amen. Amen. Yes. Hey, man, brother, you know what, uh, man, we're already, you know, like, man, we're, we're for at. But, you know, I, I wanna give you an opportunity. I always, always give my guests an opportunity. Any final words? Something we didn't get to or something you feel that the listener needs to hear? You know,

Scott: 1:44:39

man, you know, just, uh, uh, first and foremost, thanks for inviting, uh, somebody like me out here, you know? Um. I love what you're doing, and I love what he's doing here and, and, and the good works. And I've watched several and, and, and it's just awesome that you have such a wide range of, of testimonies, man. And so it's powerful. Uh, again, is, is that, you know, um, what you see here tonight, um, in, in me is Christ. And I just, I, you know, it's really cool that I can say that today, you know, and, and I thank you Lord, you know, and it is that simple. I'm grateful for my wife, my kids. Um, I'm grateful for the guys that the mentors in my life today, um, that have been really patient in this walk, you know, and, and that love me and, and show me compassion. And I get to share that with everybody, you know? Um, I'm no longer on the wrong side. And so, um, again, it. If, if Christ can do it with me, in me, he'll do it for anybody, man. Amen. And I mean that man. I, man, I've been an expert runner my whole life, and today I am not running.

Omar: 1:45:52

Amen. You

Scott: 1:45:53

know, so, yeah. That's all I'd like is, is that the Lord loves us, man. Yes, he does. Yeah. Amen. Yes, he

Omar: 1:45:59

does. And he has a plan for us. Yeah. You know, with that brother, could you close us out in the prayer? Absolutely.

Scott: 1:46:03

Amen. Yes, yes, yes. Yes. Uh, we thank you, father God, for this opportunity to, to lift you up and, and to give you all the glory and this joy that we have this evening, and my brother Omar and, and the city of Chicago that's listening and, and, and far beyond I'm sure. So we're just grateful for our brothers and sisters. Uh, we're grateful for your message. Um, we're grateful for that Holy Spirit and, and life today. Uh, you know, them chains are off and, and. And we just ask that, um, your name be glorified in our message tonight. And, uh, we pray for safe travels home and, and Omar's spending time with the family and get back home to my family. And I just pray for those that, uh, might be in darkness, that are listening tonight, that, that they, that the God will, that God will meet you anywhere, and that the Lord do so much with just so little light. So we just lift up the Lord and, and in Jesus name. And we thank, you know, we thank Father God for, for this such divine evening. And, and in Jesus' names we pray. Amen.

Omar: 1:47:13

Amen. Amen. Th th Thank you brother, man. I want to thank you for. Coming on here. You know, I, I know you had a long ride. I think you said an hour and 10 minutes, man. It was a, it was a cruise man, but, oh man, you're here and we're definitely been blessed by, by your story, brother. Aw. And we

Scott: 1:47:27

are gonna, and we are gonna go do some fishing, man. I can't wait to get you in the kitchen, sir, sir. Even it's just at the foundation office, bro. You know what I

Omar: 1:47:33

was thinking? Even if I, I could volunteer, you know what I'm saying? Like, uh, I'll definitely, like I said, I'm gonna, I'm gonna share it, you know, share that site again, and then I'm gonna, I'm still put it in the description. Okay. Yeah.

Scott: 1:47:42

You're gonna have this, but, uh, it's mercedes and foundation.org. It's M-E-R-S-A-D-E-S-A-N-N foundation.org, uh, Wheaton, Illinois.

Omar: 1:47:54

How, how often are you guys gonna plan to do these events? Uh, so

Scott: 1:47:57

right now, in the summer, we're doing once a month, but we're also trying to, so the whole, the goal here is to get fathers back in the homes, right? So we're trying to start up, uh, weekly, biweekly, uh, discipleship, uh, groups, uh, basically. What you have here on this podcast. Let's pull up a bucket, man. Let's go chop it up, man. Because there's healing. Yeah, there's healing. When we could just, man, we don't have to, again, we don't have to be these hard dudes today, man. Like,

Omar: 1:48:23

right,

Scott: 1:48:23

we're all carrying something. Let's go cast the line. Catch a big fish maybe, but let's let some stuff go, man. And, and, and that's it, man. That's what that spot represents. But um, yeah, that's it. So once a month. So I'll let you know when our next one is. Yeah. Uh, we just had one Saturday, so. I'm looking at the middle of May. Okay. Gotcha. Yeah, absolutely.

Omar: 1:48:41

Now, no, the, the second thing, uh, that just came to my mind, the, the breathing thing. Uh, how, how breath work. Yeah, yeah. How, how, how often does, does that happen?

Scott: 1:48:48

Oh, so the, the breath work, she, uh, the, my wife has two this month. Now one is this Sunday, and then one on, I think it's the 27th if that's the Sunday. Um, and I can definitely, um, let you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me know how people could

Omar: 1:49:01

find out.'cause I, I probably won't release this, uh, till May, may already and may,

Scott: 1:49:05

but, so she, her, all of her stuff is on Instagram and stuff. Okay. Uh, so I'll, I'll gonna, I'll, I'll share the link with you. Okay. Is, I don't know it off. Is she

Omar: 1:49:13

okay with, uh, being public? Oh, absolutely. I'm getting it there. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

Scott: 1:49:16

She, that's how my wife has, um, healed from all the trauma that her husband caused. Mm-hmm. She went out to a retreat in Sedona, Arizona with some ladies, and that's what it was. She got certified through California and I. And my wife has grown. I, uh, I've watched her with other women that have been hurt the same way by their husbands drugs, alcohols, lies, deceit, all this stuff. I, I've watched them heal Dan and I, you know, it's almost makes me wanna cry, bro. Yeah, yeah. No, yeah. It's, it's, um, man, it, it's hurt in the past to, to watch the, the, the stuff that I did to her. You know, now that I'm, I'm clean and sober. Yeah. And, and living a godly life, right? Like, it's tough to know, like, Hey man, this is the stuff that I really did. But to watch them heal from it and now want to help others, it's powerful, man. That's, that, that,

Omar: 1:50:09

that's amazing.'cause you know, like, man, it's, I don't know what comes to my mind. I know people say, man, yeah, if God's real, he wouldn't allow that to happen to you. He, he, he wouldn't allow that to happen to her. And it's not God that does it. You know, that's the enemy. That's people that have free will to either do good or bad. But what's amazing is that God. Could bring healing to you and then use you and your wife as vessels to bring healing to other, and that's where God is glorified, man. Yeah. That's

Scott: 1:50:38

where Yes. Yes.

Omar: 1:50:39

Just vessels,

Scott: 1:50:40

man. Yeah. Yeah.

Omar: 1:50:41

Amen, brother. But man, hey, thank you for sharing your story, for sharing the websites, man. Yeah. And, uh, with that, go, we're, we're gonna get ready to, to, to, to wrap up. Uh, Matthew four 16 reads,"The people who sat in darkness have seen a great light, and upon those who sat in the region and shadow of death light has dawned" alongside my guest, Scott. My name is Omar Calvio and we are wrong to strong.