"Rejection, Betrayal & Redemption" - Embracing A New Life Purpose w/ Gil Lopez

In this heartfelt podcast episode, host Omar Calvillo welcomes guest Gil Lopez, who shares his powerful story of transformation from a life of gang violence and incarceration to finding hope and purpose. Raised in the tough streets of Chicago, Gil recounts his struggles, including family neglect, gang involvement, and multiple imprisonments, culminating in a significant federal prison sentence. Through the support of a transformative jail program and a deepening faith in God, Gil's life takes a remarkable turn. Now free, he focuses on building a better future and helping others find their way out of a dark past. His story underscores the importance of community support, faith, and the potential for change.

Transcript

0:15

From the city of Chicago, a city most recently known for its crime and violence. On this podcast, we will be sharing stories of redemption from individuals raised in the tough streets of Chicago and from around the country. Some of them were gang members, drug dealers, incarcerated victims, and perpetrators of violence. Listen to my guests as they share their experiences, struggles, trauma, but also the strength, Hope, faith and perseverance. These have developed in them to keep pushing and moving forward in life. Tune in to hear how their lives have gone from darkness to light and from wrong to strong.

Omar: 1:03

Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of Wrong to Strong Chicago. I'm your host. My name's Omar Calvio, and tonight I have my guest. His name is Gil Lopez. I met this brother. I had to be, I think like a month ago. We were at a radical to. I'm out meeting a shout out to Pastor Manny mill. Shout out to Ronnie Carrasquillo and all the men, all the, all the different ministries that gather their churches. Uh, it's basically a prison of ministry that they do there. You know, they, uh, they have a weekly meeting. Um, it's an, uh, compass church in, uh, Wheaton. Uh, but I met that brother there and I've been meeting a lot of people out there, but, um, I talked to his brother briefly, you know, got a chance to, to meet his family, have a little conversation. And, uh, man, I told the brother, man, we. We, we gotta have you on the podcast and share your story. So thank you for being out here, brother. Yeah, man. Thank you for having me. It's a pleasure. Oh, blessing. Oh yeah, yeah, for sure, man. Uh, but yeah, let, let's get into your story, brother. You know, uh, usually I start out with a question, you know, where, where did you grow up? Where you at, uh, what city and what, neighborhood, and if you could describe it for those that never been out there, you know?

Gil: 2:07

Yeah. When I was, uh, uh, younger from the timeframe. Cause my ma had came back into my life when I was seven. So I grew up when she got me back in, back in her, you know, she took custody of me. So in that area, I grew up on the, uh, 31st and Cicero, which is right over the bridge is Petroski Park, little village. So basically the town was Cicero and, uh, you know, at that time it was a lot of gang activity. A lot of, uh, people coming from little village to take over this area, a lot of shootings or gang violence, you know, uh, Just as a child, you see a lot of people, uh, cars getting bricked, uh, hearing gunshots, uh, even the gang members would come and tell my ma, you know, this is this and this is going to happen. Make sure your son's inside. So we would have to like, you know, call it an early day. We couldn't really play outside like that. And there was just several times I will see just things like really no kids should see, but nowadays it's like the norm for these kids. So, I mean, it was, it was, it was a lot of stuff for me to take in. Um, I remember. A gentleman as I was crossing the street getting rammed and a bunch of guys jumping out at me and my little friend We're probably like 10 years old at the time and no just like damn what the hell's going on And you know, it was pretty rough just seeing all types of stuff like that and just not knowing What could happen next, you know, right, right out there in

Omar: 3:26

that area, man, that sounds crazy, especially for like a little kid, like to grow up to, to watch those things, man. Oh yeah. Now I know that that was going on like out in the streets, but at home, how are things at home? Like with your family, did you have brothers, sisters, like growing up?

Gil: 3:40

So when I was, when I was born, my mom had left when I was two, maybe three, uh, you know, at the time I was told she just left because she wanted to live her life. She didn't love me. And, uh, so I really didn't I don't know too much of her and I was, my, my dad was with another woman who I was believed that was my, uh, my real mom. So I'm calling her mom. And then at the age of seven, my real mom comes, she knocks on the door with my Tia, with my aunt. And I remember opening that door and I see my Tia, my aunt, and I see this blonde haired lady. I'm like, you know, I got all confused. And I ran to who at the time I believe was my mom. And I told her about it. And then, uh, Shortly later, my mom, you know, got custody on me. She took me out of school when I was seven and I live with her and she had remarried and, uh, you know, her husband, there was a lot of verbal, you know, a lot of verbal problems with her and her husband, constant arguing. Cause I guess I looked like my father, so I couldn't, there wasn't really, I was always locked in my room. I always wanted to be outside because if I'm inside, there's nothing for me. I'm inside the room. I don't want to be around this guy. He's constantly just creating. Arguments with my mother constantly. Oh, you look like your dad just jealousy and shit and stuff. I'm sorry

4:55

And

Gil: 4:56

there's just a lot of stuff man, and I really don't want to be in the house You know my mom worked from 3 to 11 and there was big times where I'll be stuck with you know he'll be there and I don't want to be there when I wanted to get out and Sometimes I led to other things which you know got me to where I guess you could

Omar: 5:14

say on the wrong path. Okay, man. So being, being in a house like that, you know, can I ask you, I know you, you say your mom came, what was, I guess can you take us through that transition? Like, I guess it had to be like a shock and how long did it take you, I guess, to get comfortable with her, you know, especially thinking, you know, that this other woman was your mom. Like, do you want to talk a little bit about that or maybe that transition?

Gil: 5:38

Uh, During that time frame when my mom came back, you know, I was told that how I said, uh, my mom left me cause she wasn't, she wanted to live her life. I was told she didn't love me. And yeah, of course it was a big shock when she took me away from my, who I thought was my mom and, and, and my brother. I had a brother that was born, my father, you know, and, uh, just that transition alone and then having to go through child custody. I remember one time I'm in court and my little brother ran up and he told my mom, how can you take my brother away from me? So it was a lot of, it's a lot of stuff. And it was a lot of he say, she say, you know, the how the parents do, they put it on the other parent. And then, uh, you know, that mess with me emotionally, like I'm growing, I'm going through life. I'm told that my mother didn't want no parts with me. She, she left me. And so I'm, I'm just like, damn, why am I even here? What's my purpose? My own mother who carried me for nine months didn't even want nothing to do with me. She left me. And so I was feeling like, I don't know, like an emotional burden, a hole in my heart. Like I felt like I wasn't accepted. How can my mother leave me? That's what I was told.

Omar: 6:45

Right. Man, and so you go from that experience and then go into, uh, I guess what a man that's giving the same kind of treatment, I guess, or like re rejection or like you mentioned, like jealousy saying that you look like your dad and that that's rough. So yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, um, so he said that that was going on in the home. Now that that leads you like maybe to run to, the streets, I guess for like relief or like an escape.

Gil: 7:08

Definitely. Uh, I would always want to stay out, you know, I never really wanted to come back, you know, Dinner or you know, I had a curfew as a as a child. You have a curfew but uh, I wouldn't sometimes wouldn't even come home at curfew. I wouldn't want to be at the house with this man and and and uh And so I started to act out, you know, doing some crazy stuff, throwing rocks at cars, snowballs at houses and having people come chase us or sometimes we'll walk in and I'll let out a loose dog to chase us. Just, you know, I enjoyed the acceptance because my friends were like, Dan Gil, he's crazy, man. Look at him. Oh, don't mess with Gil, you know, and I like that. I appreciated that. But that was the wrong appreciation at that time, but that was something I was seeking.

Omar: 7:48

Yeah. And then I guess they probably didn't even know what was the root cause of you acting out like that. Right? Oh, no, not at all. I'm sure now you reflect back and I mean, now you're, you're probably know why you were doing those things, you know, but back then you just probably, you know, acting out just to act out. Right. Yeah. All right. So like, like what, what, what age are you doing these things? Like you mentioned, you know,

Gil: 8:09

man, I'm, I'm, I'm doing it all through, uh, grammar school. I would say, uh, wait. 9, 10. And just as time progressed, it got worse. I got kicked out of a church for, uh, throwing rocks at a vehicle. You know, they stopped in a church and I eventually got kicked out. And then, uh, you know, at like 14, I started to get involved with the gang life. And things started to progress even worse. And then that's when the criminal, my criminal history started to build. When 17, I was first, uh, arrested. On my birthday, I turned 17, just went into a store, stole bottles, I guess, to, uh, you know, celebrate my birthday. And that was just the beginning of a long stem of my criminal history.

Omar: 8:55

Oh, man. Now, at that point, when you ran to the gang, did you feel like that love, like, uh, I know part of it was a rejection, right? Now, did you feel like, acceptance, like, uh, you know, as you go into the gang.

Gil: 9:07

Yeah, I, I definitely, I felt like that, that, uh, what they say, uh, brotherhood. I felt like, you know, I always wanted a family and I wanted a part of that as, as I was growing up. You know, my father had my two brothers and he would go to their games and he would go, you know, do a lot of school stuff with them. But whatever was going on with him and my mom, he, he didn't attend my basketball games. He didn't attend my baseball games. It was like, dang, you know, I guess some sort of resentment and jealousy built up. But when I'm around these men, it felt like they wanted to be a part of my life and they were winging me in, you know, but. It was all for the wrong reasons. Yeah, eventually you find out as you get

Omar: 9:45

older. Oh, yeah for sure man Now I know you mentioned, you know, like starting getting a Locked up now. It started off like maybe like small stuff I know you mentioned like liquor like stealing bottles, but did it progress to some serious? Did you end up like doing like some some time, you know?

Gil: 9:58

Yeah, and uh, so we'll start off at 17 and then In 2005, I was 19 at the time, I caught an attempt murder, uh, I was gone for about 18 months, they reduced my charge, uh, and then, uh, I went in again after that for criminal damage to property, uh, that was another bid. Another one was, uh, driving on a revoked license. And then in 2018 was my, the biggest charge, I was, uh. Set up by a long time friend that I knew for 20 years with a undercover undercover ATF agents and uh, I was sentenced to 48 months fed time and they sent me to a maximum security prison at that time

Omar: 10:41

Man, and and what

Gil: 10:43

uh, what were the the things they they charge you with I guess he sent me up with undercover atf agents So I sold him guns and uh, so it was possession of a firearm by a felon and uh, I got 48 months, like I said, and you know, uh, At the time I was, there was a lot of anger built up, but it's, as time went on, I, uh, you know, I started to see God and, and that anger turned into like thankfulness because this person really opened my eyes to stuff that, to people that I was willing to die for. Putting my life on the line for but at the end of the day they were just worried about themselves They didn't give a damn about me somebody I knew for 20 years took five minutes to flip on me while I'm incarcerated My supposedly right hand man got with my son's mother So it's like betrayal after betrayal and that just helped me like man. I don't need this ain't for me This ain't a family that I thought I was looking for And that's, that's like

Omar: 11:41

a lot in one situation, right? You know what the, the, that, uh, that bond that, that you build, like you said, 20 years, man, you, you want to talk a little bit about that? Like, I guess, I know you, you say they broke up, but what were some of those things that is, you're spending time with these guys that, I guess that the bond, the bond you that, that made you want to give your life for these guys, you know, Man, it was all about like hanging out, going through, uh,

Gil: 12:06

You know, we facing, uh, uh, shootouts and they're right there. We're facing life or death situations. They're right there. But not only that, we're going to family parties together. One of the guys, I was his, uh, uh, daughter's godfather. So it's like, and at the time when this gentleman set me up, he knew my son so much when he walked to the door, he hugged my son on me, hugged, rubbed his head and everything. So it's like, he knew where I lived and that was kind of, My last time out he knew where I lived and he was like one of the only ones that knew where I live So it was like that type of tie, you know I was trying to be more low key trying to you know, just dodge any problems, right? So I mean there was a lot of ties and we was all Just I mean like I said, there's a lot of stuff that I thought was family They're coming to my my son's first year birthday second year birthday were Family awakes all types of stuff. Yeah, and it's just You know, it's messed up, but that's how it is, you know, that's what I needed to open

Omar: 12:59

my eyes, man No, no before this incident happened to you. Did you ever see it happen to somebody else? maybe some of your other guys where you heard stories about you know, like somebody close to them being the one that like turns them in or Set them up things like that. I guess I

Gil: 13:14

mean

Omar: 13:14

Yeah,

Gil: 13:14

i've heard stories and you know, it's crazy right because the guy that I thought was my right hand man My brother whatever that guy with my son's mother He did it to somebody else, but I thought by the person or the connection that we had or and the person of my status that it wouldn't happen to me So I looked the other way and and I even remember telling him like damn bro. You're bogus for that Why would you do that? but And and it's funny too another thing my mother when she met the guy She's like she told me too. She pulled me to the side like junior, you know, just be careful with him I don't know why but I I just see something grimy about him, but I didn't take it because to me It was my brother. We we went we did a lot of things together

Omar: 13:53

So, so your mom had like a dis dis discernment. She discerned something about this individual already and man, you, you know what was crazy? I know you mentioned that you knew he already had done it to somebody. Yeah. But you continued to associate, you know what I, I seen that a lot like in the streets, like, like guys that would get like locked up and they're back in the street. Yeah. You know, like constantly and, and nobody will question it, you know what I'm saying? Mm-Hmm. like everybody else is getting locked up and, you know, like staying in. But people. Like man, yeah, yeah, and you just add, you know, there's

Gil: 14:22

Yeah, and that's miss it. That's the thing. That's why I was kind of grateful for uh, it's crazy, but I was grateful for that situation for the guy that sent me up for That I knew for 20 years because prior to that I was getting out like you just said going back to the streets Going back to that lifestyle, even though i'll call my family be like man, you know, i'm done i'm done I'm done with the life. But as soon as I get out i'm right back in the streets So I needed something drastic like that to open my eyes

Omar: 14:49

So, how old were you at this time when, when that, when you got that case, when you, when they gave you those 48 months, uh, I was 31, 31. Okay. So ma'am, prior to that, man, your, your life was all about the gang. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Now you, you went in, did you still like, uh, stay like in the gang when you're in there, like representing and then go, can you tell us the, your experience, I guess, the, the, on your last bit,

Gil: 15:12

my, uh, and the federal bid. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you. It's really you uh, you have no choice in the feds. I mean state is a little different but in the feds you have no choice Even if you're not in a game, you have to ride with somebody even if it's a new neutral game Midwest South Whatever you have to ride with somebody. So I mean, I Yeah, yeah, I had to partake

Omar: 15:33

in that. Okay. Now Was this your longest bit this one or like I know you mentioned you were you you did some some other time before Yeah No, uh, yeah, the federal was my longest bid. Four years. Okay. Yeah. You, you, you wanna tell us how that, that experience was for you? Like what, where, where, where did they send you? Were you like local, did you send you to a different state

Gil: 15:51

or? Nah. In federal man, they send you wherever, uh, especially when you're in a max. Like they only have six maximum prisons and they're all out of state. So I was, I, I was first sent to Kentucky. Got into some trouble. What was the name of that one? Uh, USP big Sandy. Okay. And then I was sent, I'm sorry, it was USP McQuarrie. I got into some trouble. I got sent to USP big Sandy. When I went to USP big Sandy, there was a guard. I was talking to one of the homies with sign language because that's how you talk. There's, it's like constant lockdown. So you sign, you know, and uh, Like actual sign language? Yeah, you just spell out words. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, bro. I mean you learn it you learn it in there. That's crazy And uh, so one of the guards is like you turn around again. I'm gonna put you on your ass And I don't care in the maximum facility. You cannot let anybody talk to you like that even if it's the guards so My thing was I was in a turn to him like yo, man, i'm respecting you. Don't disrespect me You know i'm not doing nothing to you. But as soon as I turned around that man hit me The next guard tackled me they hit the alarms They beat the hell out of me. They take me to uh, uh, a cell no cameras around Each off each guard is one's holding my my right arm left my right leg left and they're just Just beating me bro. I really thought I was naked. I thought I was gonna die They put shackles on me and and tighten it so bad where it cracked my left rib The the handcuffs were so tight. My hands were turning purple. So this happened at one o'clock at nine o'clock at night It was change of shift and another lieutenant came And I'm naked, I'm telling you, and I'm begging him, like, please, bro, tears are, like, coming down my eyes. I'm thinking I'm gonna die. I'm praying to God. Telling him, man, if this is it, just please let my family know, you know, I love him. And I'm shaking, shivering, my lips purple, and the lieutenant comes in, he's like, what's the problem? I'm like, sir, these, these cuffs, I think I'm gonna die, can you please help me? And he told me what happened. I'm like, sir, I didn't do nothing. One of your guards. You know, hit me and they beat me up. He's like, that ain't what I was trying to hear. He's like, maybe next time I'll let you out. Maybe you'll have a better answer. So he closed the door and then at 10 30, he came back and he asked me, so what happened? I'm like, man, man, Lieutenant, you know what? I messed up. It was my fault. I messed up. Okay. That's what I wanted to hear. And finally they just released me, released the handcuffs, bro. They didn't give me no medical attention. Uh, I was pissing blood that the chaplain, my mom was calling up there cause I got a letter out to her. She was calling all types of people. She called up there to the chaplain. The chaplain came to the, to the door. And while I was in the hole, the holes 24 hour lockdown, the showers in your cell, no sunlight. And I was there for six months. Uh, but the chaplain comes bro. And he's like, uh, Lopez was what's going on. I'm just looking at him because I see a badge. He's like, don't worry I'm a chaplain you could talk to me so I explained to him man Look, I'm not getting no medical attention. The guards beat the hell out of me. I couldn't you know, I can't I still can't breathe I can't sleep on this side. My teeth were We're sore like loose from when he hit me in the mouth so I can't even eat like yeah Your mom's calling up here very hysterical Like well, yeah, I'm pissing blood and I'm not getting no medical attention. He's okay. So I'm I'm gonna take care of it So I finally get a phone call and my mom, I mean, I finally get to call my mother for 10 minutes and she's like, yeah, I heard from the chaplain and all he said that all you had was a nosebleed that you'll be fine. I'm like, wow. So it was pretty rough that time. And from there I went to, uh, the penitentiary in Virginia. And that's where I was released from. It was a little more chill, but you know, you still see people getting stabbed, still people, people getting beat up, lifted out of there. You know, it's really no, uh, for nobody to be at, especially with short time. Like me, you have people doing lives, but when you're in that, in the federal system, it's, if you're on some type of gang time or whatever, it's mandatory that you have a knife or whatever, bro. So your little Four years could turn into life. He's there. Yeah, and

Omar: 19:45

you

Gil: 19:45

could

Omar: 19:46

end up, you know, get another case in there Yeah, you know going back to that. Uh, chaplain I mean a chaplain supposed to represent like something spiritual something good, right? Did that uh, like mar the way you look like let's say somebody that's supposed to be I guess spiritual or Sometimes you could even consider him like a holy man, you know Because usually chaplains are like a priest or something like that, right? Like did that give you like did that change your perspective? You Like on religion or like somebody in that position, I guess. Not really. I mean, uh,

Gil: 20:18

I always had issues with trusting authority and, and that kind of, kind of put more of a, you know, an issue, like put it, established it more in my heart, especially it being a chaplain. But from being in and out of the system, I know they all stick together. Yeah, especially if he was

Omar: 20:37

wearing a badge man, yeah I'm sure it wasn't like an official. I don't know like a pastor or a priest or something He he's getting his paycheck from these guys. These guys they gotta protect one another, you know, yeah, of course, man that's messed up so and so you you did all that so did uh, did you do the total time? Were you able to get some good

Gil: 20:54

time there or I I actually lost time because in the first prison Like I said, I got into a fight Which is you have to you have to somebody's messed up You The newest person usually has to take care of that situation and I was the newest one So I lost a month. Uh But like I said when I went to virginia was more laid back, you know, uh There were more Every prison is ran different. So virginia was ran. Like I said, it's ran different But there were more understanding that i'm about to go home Put him on the back burner. You don't need to be on the forefront fighting fight, you know Just let him go home. So there were it was a little more Of a better I, I guess you could say leadership,

Omar: 21:34

right? Like, so, so these guys, they, they knew like basically, man, we gotta get this guy outta here. You know, let somebody else do, do the dirt, I guess. Yeah. So, you get ready to, to, to leave. How did that feel, man, like maybe that day before or, you know, you finally get released? Man, it feel, it

Gil: 21:51

felt good.'cause I, I, I had my mind already made up like that life isn't for me no more. So I had vision on, on. No, taking steps forward, moving forward in life and just start making changes. And so I came home and that's exactly what I did. I put into a fight for my son. I built my credit up. I got a job. I was released January 13th, got a job January 14th. What year was that? 2022. Okay. And then, uh, two months later I was, uh, promoted to supervisor to third shift. But, uh, things took a toll for me, man. They, uh, life through its curve ball. My father passed away August 2nd, 2022. And, you know, I just went back to what I knew was best. And that was the street life. And it's just, and everything went back downhill from there. And then two months later, I was back locked up for a case and, uh, yeah, for, for, uh, possession of a firearm, reckless discharge and armed habitual, which I. Fought for 19 months. And by the grace of God, I was found not guilty. April 24th. No way. No, no. What was this in the county cook county or where were you at? This was in DuPage County. Okay. So I was sitting in there for 19 months. And, uh, you know, whoever knows about DuPage County, they know that's a 99 percent conviction rate. And I was firm on going to trial. So all the guards, everybody was like, wow, the inmates like, man, you're crazy, bro. Just cop out. I'm not coping out. I know I'm innocent. And I took it to trial. And like I said, by the grace of God, I was found innocent. Man. Man. Yeah. And that just happened. You

Omar: 23:35

said what? What, what was that? When you, April 24th, uh, this year. 2024. Oh two th man. Mm-Hmm. It's just a few months ago, huh? Yeah, man. You know what, I think what we were talking at RTO, uh, you, you were mentioning some of the things that they had going on in DuPage. Mm-Hmm. uh, you, you, you wanna talk about that?

Gil: 23:50

Yeah. While I was in DuPage, they have a, a, a. A program called the just program. The executive is Mike Barry and they help men That want to change their lives and no longer partake in the gangs so, uh That program provides one on one counseling On a daily base he comes in and talks to the men on this pod He does a lot of one on ones on saturdays. He brought in from the college of dupage horticulture welding program small engines program, um You and just so many other programs in there as far as aa, uh, na, and, uh, just different things, man. Uh, uh, storybook where you grab a book, you read it to your child as they record it, you send it off to him or her? What do you mean record? Like audio? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no way. So you'll read the book audio. They, they're recording with a, a tape recorder. Right. And they'll mail it for free to your child and, uh, no way. Yeah, man, it was, it was pretty good. And, and they brought in a lot of, uh. A lot of state representatives will come, uh, even, uh, prosecutors from Cook County, the drug court judge would, would come. And just to see how the program is, is ran, because it shows like if you put the effort in these, in these men and these criminals, you know, change is possible. It's just some of, some of us need the support. Some of us need that hope to be put back into us, be restored. And that's exactly what he did. And that pod consists of men. That we're on the same page wanting to leave that lifestyle wanting to move forward and possibly be an advocate when we're released

Omar: 25:25

man That no, I know we were talking earlier like about you like drawing close to God Did this happen in there or did it happen somewhere else? Like

Gil: 25:35

I mentioned earlier my father when I live with him he him and uh his side of the family Third Catholic so I was enrolled into a Catholic school And then when my mom got me back She's a christian. So You know, we would pray a lot. We would go over bible scripture. So I mean it's always been There the religion me believing in god accepting christ It's just I never fully uh Grasped it. I never really took hold of it. Right every time I got locked up, you know, I was a diehard christian, but uh, once uh Once I was free right I left jesus behind Gotcha and you know what and With this program, it just helped me even more Get closer to God and just all the events that took place as far as uh, Even back in the feds is that it was an eye opener with the betrayal like I was putting man before God.

Omar: 26:29

Yeah,

Gil: 26:29

like I was Idolizing the game before God and look what happened. I was betrayed. I was set up. I was all types of things happened this time around uh You know, there was so much opportunity that the support system Opportunities jobs Programs like God put it. It's God put it there. It didn't it don't I mean, I don't care what anybody says I know that you know, it shouldn't Should be different. I'm blessed not to be six feet under or Haven't been found guilty there and there.

Omar: 27:01

Hey, you know what? I know you mentioned about the 99 Conviction rate and due page. Yeah yet. They're still doing this for for like the the people that are in there, you know I'm sure a lot of these guys are gonna eventually get more time, right like You The ones that are going through this program or this is just for guys that are going to get out like how does it work? I guess in there. No, it's for

Gil: 27:20

guys that are incarcerated in DuPage County. So you have to put in a, uh, an application to get on the pod and Mike Berry will come in and interview. He'll see if you got tickets, he'll see what's going on. Like they do an investigation to make sure you're serious. Cause you don't want to bring, cause one, one bad Apple could mess up everything. So he does a thorough investigation. And he brings people up there and actually, even though the state doesn't like the program and some of the guards aren't for it, but he has a, the sheriff, which is the main one and Sheriff Mendrick and he promotes the program. He invests in it. He even goes to the pot and talks to the men and uh, it actually helps get your time reduced.

Omar: 28:08

Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, so these guys are already like been found guilty and they already got their time. They're serving it out there or they're still fighting their cases. Yeah. This is pre trial. Oh, okay. Yeah. All right. Yeah. But, but they're

Gil: 28:19

still investing in them, man. That's good, man. Yeah. And, and, and you actually, like, like I mentioned it, it's from the college of DuPage. So you get an actual certificate. I got one in horticulture. I have one in small engines, uh, two cylinder, four cylinder. I wasn't there to do the electric motors, but I, I, you know, I accomplished something and we achieve stuff and then. When you get released he he's still there. I still keep in contact with him We go to lunch probably once a month. Oh, no way. And yeah, and he he he helped me get into the job where I'm at today, so he's still like an I.D.O.C. See there's programs but Once you're out you're out. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. No kidding. You're out the way But he, you know, you have his number, you have the counselor's number you could continue to do counseling with, and he also guides you in other paths. No way, man.

Omar: 29:06

That's, that, that's deep.'cause like you mentioned, like, once you're out, like you're gone, like Yeah, they, they just focus on the ones that are in there, but, Mm-Hmm. it's almost like he built like a, a relationship, you know? Yeah. Like even beyond the, the, the prison. Now I, I know you had mentioned about a, a, a, a documentary that, that you're a part of now. Is this, is this related to, to this? You, you, you do, do you wanna talk about it? The, yeah.

Gil: 29:27

So I was part of a two documentaries which went inside. DuPage County one is uh called escaping the odds that one hasn't been released yet. It's going through its editing phase um The other one was just released today by uh uh It was bbc news. It's called um Uh follow the leader which the interviewer it was jamali Kendrick I believe I'm, not too sure but uh So yeah, that was just released today. It's a four part series. So He just goes around, um, interviewing people, just showing exposure on the program and how it has helped. And then he also, you know, just goes to neighborhoods and shows how like it's messed up, how these young men are lost, but then he'll come in, you know, cause eventually though, God forbid they don't, but they'll get locked up. And if they do, there's programs, there's actually hope. Now there's, People who you know, you know be there for you and help you out to get out of that lifestyle You know, like I think I told you before like when we joined when we joined the gangs were told by A lot of people, our family, whatever, there's two options. You're either going to die or you're going to go to jail for the rest of your life. So being a young man, hearing that you don't plan for a future, your future doesn't even exist because you're going to be in jail or you're going to be six feet under. But with programs and people like that, that invest in, in change and, and, and bring that hope back. That gives us a third option that you can make it out. And we can be productive citizens to, to

Omar: 31:02

society. Right. But when, when, when do you feel like it finally clicked for you? Like To have a purpose outside of the gang outside or even death, you know, like you mentioned it's either a jail or death Like was there a moment where you're like, man like you've seen like a future and the reason I ask that because like me like During that time that I was in the streets, like I didn't care about my life like when I reflect back, it was like I was suicidal without wanting to kill myself like I was hoping somebody else will take me out because I didn't see a future for myself. I didn't see myself having kids or anything. I just want to, in a sense, like to die. So was there a moment for you were like, I don't know. You got a. Like a purpose a vision a future like family. I don't know like, you know,

Gil: 31:43

I mean as a child, you know or growing up I always wanted that family. I always wanted to be a part of a family. Um, But as you mentioned to is this with all the emotional stuff when my mother leaving and my head being filled with stuff I didn't see no purpose. I didn't see no future. So I really didn't think I was gonna make it past 21 And, uh, when that betrayal happened, when I was set up to go and went to the feds, that, that was like an eye opener, but I received my, uh, my purpose this time around when I was in DuPage County, you know, uh, I shared my story with Mike Berry, the executive of just, and when, uh, he would bring volunteers or, or, uh, visitors like judges or state representatives, he would have me share my story to them. And, and just to see what I've been through to bring tears to their eyes and, and, you know, just them leaving with a different perspective on criminals, looking at criminals as humans, not just animals to lock them up and throw away the key. Let's do something for them. Now let's, well, we got in places and working supposed to be the department of corrections, but they're not correcting nothing. So you know what I'm saying? And to see that. It was like, man, you know, I got a voice and I'm going to use it.

Omar: 32:59

No, it's time to use it. Oh yeah, for sure. No, that's good. Hey, you know what? One thing that I've, that's really like spoken to me from doing this is that every, everyone has a story like every, like a lot of times we see, like you mentioned criminals, I just, you know, throw them in there, their animals, you know, but there's something that happened. In their life and their like you for you your childhood man There's a lot of stuff that no kid should have to witness or go through mom dad, you know and all that That drives them to the streets that drives them to the to this criminal, you know life so it gives me like a a Empathy for for them, you know Yeah, and I think that's what we're like when I went I told you like when I go to cook county Like to to witness to them like I see like I don't see like, I just wonder what's their story. You know, what, what, what led them here? There's, there's something in their life that led them to be here. It's not just, they're just not like savages or, you know,

Gil: 33:59

That's exactly how I see it. You don't just get born and join a gang or you're not born with a gun or born smoking drugs or doing this or doing that. There's something, there's a root cause that we got to get to and try to fix that wound. Yeah.

Omar: 34:13

Yeah, a lot of times there's wounds, but then I was talking to a guy, uh, um, uh, bill fey He's like man, don't don't forget to talk about sin How it's in us too. He's like man, like he's like the next time I ask you your guests who taught him how to lie Like nobody, right? Like, it just comes out of us. It's like, it's the sin nature too, you know? So, so, so we gotta talk about that too, you know? So, a lot of times it's a trauma from the family, from the childhood. But a lot of times it's also that sin nature, that sin in us, man. That, that only, that has to be put, put to death in a sense. And, and only, uh, Christ, he's the one that could change us from the inside out, you know? Yeah. Cause, cause we could have all these programs which are good. But I believe we need God in our lives, man, to change us from the inside out. Now, as far as like your purpose now, um, what role does God play in that now? Now that you got a vision, you know, like you, I know you, I know these programs helped you change, but I guess what role does God play in your life now today? Like where you're at?

Gil: 35:13

God plays a big role in my life. I make sure, you know, I pray, wake up, pray, you know, uh, stay in scripture, stay involved with, with, with church, with, uh, With our organizations involving Christ and, and, you know what I'm saying? I, I know he has a bigger plan for me because like a lot of us that make it out the street, we don't, we didn't make it out because we dodged that bullet or we ran this way. There's something, the Holy Spirit, God that made that bullet go this way, but yet we're still right here. You know what I'm saying? And I see that. And, and, you know, I, I know This blessing of not being found guilty. I know there's a reason behind it and only God knows that reasoning, but I will not let this blessing be, be, be a failure. I'm going to make the best out of every moment of it. Every chance I get the opportunity you giving me. And if there's any more down the line, I'm going to take full advantage of it, man. I'm going to let them know how, you know, it is God. It ain't, it isn't me. It isn't me that made these, it. That put myself in on that pod around a great support system around a program I could have went to cook county But I was in dupage for a reason to get the help that I needed the counseling that I needed to get these Support that I needed So, I mean, I I want to use that and to give it back as well because god blesses us to bless others Yeah,

Omar: 36:38

definitely man blessed to be a blessing. Yes. You know what you bring up? Well, uh counseling that's that's like a word that that a lot of men I'm never going to go to counseling, you know, I mean, I'm going to sit there and talk about my emotions, you know, what's, what's the benefit or the blessing of counseling, you know, cause I, like I said, a lot of men are going to be watching this, they're going to be hearing it that man, I'll never go to a counselor, you know, that's, that's, that's not a manly thing to do, but what, what are the benefits? What are the blessings of somebody actually like, man, seeking a counselor, you know?

Gil: 37:11

And to me, it was just being able to get, All that trauma off my chest and being able to release it man, you know as men, especially men were raised that we can't cry or show no weaknesses because You know, that's not what men do and then being in and out of jail you you your feelings and emotions You have to ice them because that's a weakness There's a perceived weakness, but it's really not I mean you Like sharing my feelings and, and, and, and, uh, being able to do that, it may open a door for this man who was taught you can't show no feelings. So now he sees, say, maybe he looks up to me, I don't know, maybe I'm a mentor to him or whatever it may be. He sees, wow, Gilbert sharing his feelings, man. Let me try this. You know what I'm saying? It's a release. It just feels, I don't know. I feel like I feel at peace. I feel a lot better. And I feel like I can, now I can take these steps forward in my life. Like there's no barriers, no hurdles holding me back. Like all them emotions and everything that I felt I wasn't wanted or why my mom do this and my family do that like I was able to get it out and now what? Now let's move

Omar: 38:15

forward. Yeah, yeah, definitely. It's like a release, almost like a reset. And because I think like a lot of people, they have those things that happened in their childhood. They're real. They hurt. I mean. But they just keep reliving in a man Yeah, they keep using it as an excuse to why they can't get ahead or they can't go go forward, you know So it's definitely I think we need to to revisit them to I guess to what's the word? Um To like to like you mentioned just to talk about them, you know and see how they affected us But then then once we realize what they did Like we could seek counsel, especially seek God to help us. Yeah, like, like, like move forward. Now, I know you mentioned like leaving the gang, you know, like, and then seeing it for what it was. Uh, but, uh, during this time, have you maybe been able to, to reach maybe some old friends that are still out there maybe to, in, in, in, in a positive way, I guess, whether it be to, to, uh, drum close to God or just, you know, try to help them not, not to maybe not help them, but at least try to steer them away from the gang? I mean,

Gil: 39:22

I try, you know, uh, there's some people I have on, on, on social media. So I'll post up the things that I'm doing, the progress I'm making, the documentaries or, and, and just let them see that, you know, this is, you've seen who I was now look what I'm doing now. You know what? And I'll let them know like that lifestyle wasn't, wasn't nothing for us. Let's grow. Let's be successful, man. Let's be the man God created us to be. Share scripture with them. Um, uh, you know, I, I try my best, but I don't. Want to like be going to the neighborhood or just being wrapped up in that as far as loving from a distance. Yeah. Yeah. No. Cause some, some people aren't ready to change and, and hey, that's on them. But if, if I could share some encouraging words with them or, or, or share how I'm doing and, and how. If I could do it, you could do it. Yeah. You know, there's no limit. Stop limiting yourself because that's what you do when you're part of a gang. You limit yourself to this neighborhood. Now you're stuck here. You can't go over here. You can't go. We're just putting limits on ourselves. Let's not do that. We, we could be limitless. Yeah,

Omar: 40:22

definitely. Now, what you just mention about being limited to a neighborhood? Like now, now that you left the, the, the, that life, do you find yourself like, I don't know, getting out more. Cause the, the, the reason I asked that, cause. there, there, there was some guys that just grew up their whole life in a certain neighborhood. Mm. And they wouldn't go nowhere, man. They wouldn't, you know, they, they just were stuck almost like in a radius. Do you feel like that's something you wanna do now? Like get out and travel, I guess is, is the question? Oh, yeah.

Gil: 40:49

I, I was definitely one of them guys, you know, in that little radius, like you said in the, in that little box neighborhood. And that was all I know. But yeah, I definitely want to explore when, when given the opportunity, you know, there's so much to life and, and. You know, I'm still, still at a young age where I could, uh, explore and, and just travel the world. And that's definitely on the bucket list. I want to do a lot of things that I, that I, like I said, limit myself to, but now, you know, it's all that's behind me and you know, it's just, it's just continuously elevating in life and just seeing the world.

Omar: 41:24

Amen. Amen. Do you, do you have any like short term, long term goals, things that you're like, you know, I know short term, I

Gil: 41:31

want to, uh, be more involved in, uh, uh, youth outreach and, and, and trying to, uh, just get to these younger men before, you know, possibly it's too late. I know young men are hard headed and I was there, you know, I understand it, but I would like to just give them my story and, and, and, and let them know that there's hope and you have someone like me that's been through it, that understands. And if I could help out in any way, I will. So that's short term right now. Long term is just, uh, Man, just being successful, being, living for God, living my purpose, uh, having a family, exploring the world, man. That's just I mean the list could go on. Yeah. Yeah.

Omar: 42:13

No, yeah, for sure. Hey, man, you know, but These guys need need need to hear that man, like to know that there's more to life than just that man Yeah, you know, but uh, I know you you had mentioned that you were gonna go almost like an uh, um, promotion tour for this, uh documentary Like you you got things like uh scheduled or like where are you gonna be going like to talk about this? I know they had mentioned

Gil: 42:36

uh previous. Um, they had mentioned about doing a uh, Uh, like a After the documentary drops, they want to do like a post interview of how the documentary was for me and since I've been released, how has life been, if there's been any struggles, you know, because it hasn't been an easy road. There's always going to be some. Something that gets in the way. It's just how you go about the choices we make so I'm not trying to sit here Like it's easy. Yeah, but uh, so they want to talk about stuff like that I'm, not sure. Like I said the documentary just dropped today. They actually emailed me the link and uh From here. I mean i'm in touch with them. They're they're out of london. So Oh, no way. Yeah, so I mean

Omar: 43:20

and they came all the way out here just to record. Yeah. Yeah two weeks, man Yeah, two weeks, man Wow. No, that's good, man. Now you mentioned the word struggle. That's one thing when I was praying, man, a lot of times that people need to hear about our struggles, man, because I think people could relate more to our struggles than to our wins, you know? So what has been some of those struggles that you've encountered as you're trying to serve God and live this, this, uh, good life now, you know, I guess

Gil: 43:47

struggles I've been encountering is, is of course, uh, Transportation my license. I don't have a license. So I have to depend on others for rides and public transportation and stuff like that, which I don't like to be a burden to others. So that that's, that's been a little struggle for me. I mean, of course you could get an Uber, but that adds up and, and, uh, it's expensive, man. You gotta do it on a daily, you know? Yeah. And another one is, um, emotionally is with my son. Uh, you know, I've been putting things just going with my goal, right? I want to. Be established have my license back. So my son's mother has no ammo to use against me so sometimes I deal with that emotionally because I feel like i'm putting him on the back burner and not worried about him, but I have to that's when I have to pray and and just talk to the lord man, because I know right now I have great intentions. So it's not like I'm just leaving him there cause I don't want to be a part of his life. I'm doing things so I could have things established my, all my ducks in a row to make his life better and our life, our relationship more better. So, I mean, those are like some of the

Omar: 44:52

things I struggle with. Okay. Oh yeah. But at least your, your heart's in the right place. You want to make sure that you have everything like for him, you know, like when you are, when you are able to spend time with him, he has, you know, I think things, you know, maybe somewhere to go and things to do now as far as your license Is that like look like it might happen or is that going to take a while? Like for for you to try to get that back like

Gil: 45:14

no i've been uh, i've been on the ball with that one as uh, Like I mentioned the program inside of dupage through mike barry the just program. He has helped me out with a Gentleman to do these classes to get my license back. I just went in court last week and um They squashed a lot of my fines time served and uh, so as of right now I believe we're the next step is to put in for a media hearing for at least a driving permit to drive to work

Omar: 45:44

Yeah, man, that'll be big man. Yeah, even if it's just for that man, you know But God willing that that happens, you know goes through through for you, man Is there anything that we didn't get a chance to talk about that that you want to share or do you want to talk about? Yeah I mean, I

Gil: 46:00

think we covered pretty much everything. I just, you know, just to any young man that's listening. I want them to know that there's there's hope out there. You're not you're not alone. There's programs now more than ever. There's other men that's been through it. That's made it out that is willing to listen to you to help you in any way and you know, just don't feel like you're alone because you're not you're not trapped. You

Omar: 46:23

have a way out. Amen. Amen. Now, uh, what about those that are like in the, in that street life, man, what would you tell them, man? Cause I know a lot of them feel like, man, they can't get out, man. You know, like I would just, uh, I would like to tell him

Gil: 46:37

like you, man, you can't get out. You just have to take that, put your best foot forward. You just, you just gotta sometimes swallow your pride. I know. That's that's a big thing with a lot of these young men. They don't want to look like cowards They don't want to look down upon and and I mean it's okay because you're just doing it for yourself because at the end They don't the streets don't care for you.

Omar: 47:00

Yeah,

Gil: 47:00

they'll turn on

Omar: 47:01

you in a heartbeat and unfortunately, unfortunately man a lot of the Guests that I've had here recently man. A lot of them Their own guys, you know, like turned on them, you know, like, but, but everybody thinks like, man, like my guys are the real ones, you know, like they're, we're, we're, we're, we're not like that, that story that I heard or that other story, you know, but man, and anyone could break at any moment, man. And And they're, they're better off not rolling the dice in a sense, man, like to, to get there, man. But, uh, uh, you know what, you could, could you close out on a prayer, you know, we'll get ready to wrap up.

Gil: 47:37

Yeah, definitely. Uh, heavenly father, I come before your throne with a humble heart, thanking you for this opportunity, thanking you for Omar, father, God. And I just ask that you continue to use us to be advocates, father, God, and, and. To show that change is possible. I ask that you bless anybody that hears this story and that listens to further stories provided by Omar that you just let them know that put it on their heart that change is possible and you just give them the strength and comfort them with your arms. Father God shedding light into their lives. I ask that you continue to bless our families and Just to continue to let your glory be seen through us father god as we try to be beacons of light heavenly father We thank you for all that you do for us and all that you will do for us father god in jesus name Amen, amen. Amen, brother.

Omar: 48:26

You you know what? I know you mentioned two two of those shows, right? Uh, two different ones. Yes now Could you could you uh to tell us the name of them again and uh, where could maybe people be able to see them? I think one of them hasn't released. I think you mentioned right? Yeah escaping the

Gil: 48:40

odds hasn't been released but uh The gentleman, he's pretty famous on YouTube. He has a YouTube channel. And then the other one, the other documentary is, uh, follow the leader, which was held by Jamali Maddox, which is, was released today. It's a four part series. Uh, the stream site for that is you and Dave. And if you, uh, just

Omar: 49:05

go through there, you could see it. Okay. Now is that like on YouTube or is that like actual site that they got to go to? That you and dave or what is that

Gil: 49:14

to be honest i've

Omar: 49:14

never

Gil: 49:15

heard of

Omar: 49:15

that

Gil: 49:15

Yeah, i've i've never heard of it either until they sent me the link today. Uh, well, yeah, that's a that's a streaming site I guess that they have in london. Okay, it's you and dave. It's all together. It's a you and that uh and symbol Okay, and then dave d a v e E. Okay.

Omar: 49:31

Alright. And, and is, is that for free or they, they gotta pay to watch that? Do you know? Like, or

Gil: 49:35

I would, I think it might, they might have to pay. Okay. I'm not too sure, but I, I mean, I would think so. Alright. Now

Omar: 49:42

is it worth paying, man? Oh yeah, it definitely is. it definitely is. Right. All right. Yeah. Yeah. You said that was a four part series, right? Yes. Okay. Yes. No. Yeah. So, so, so when I release this, I'll, I'll, I'll put a, a link. Okay. You know, like maybe to, to the site. Oh, nice. And that they, they could, you know, go, go on there and check it out. And. Be encouraged man, but what was going on even in the like in a place that's dark man It's it's awesome to see that there are people going in and bringing hope and trying to restore lives man And yeah, I thank god for the sheriff man, dude. Do you know if he if his faith plays any role in his life? Yeah, he's a big time believer in jesus christ. Yes. He is. Oh, no way man. Hendricks. Yep, man Look at that and that's why we need people and then those uh, uh positions of authority that are faith based man Cause I believe they have the heart of Christ, which is why they go in there and they know there's hope for these guys, you know, not, not like somebody, like you mentioned, like, they just want to like law or punishment. Yeah. I think the word you mentioned was correctional. Yeah. I try to correct nothing. No. If anything, that made these guys worse. Yeah. Kind of like, uh, with the story you mentioned about the beat down. Oh yeah. If anything. Yeah, that ain't gonna make you change man. That's gonna give you more anger more exactly hatred, you know, there's a authority And then you the the flip side of the coin is a man like that. You know that that shows love Compassion and actually cares man. Actually, they're bringing in programs that man. Let's give these guys a career I know you mentioned welding or horticulture and all these things guys need that man. They need to be able to come out And have a career or something that they could do, you know, with their hands to try to, to, to, to make a living and I have to go, go back to the neighborhood, go back to the streets or drug dealing, whatever that is, man. Yeah, of course. And,

Gil: 51:23

and, you know, it's crazy because, uh, Sheriff Mendrick, when he brought the JUST program into DuPage, everybody was against it, telling him he's crazy, he don't know what he's doing. But now since they see how it's changing lives and men like myself and other men that come out. He has other states calling him, asking him to teach that to them now. So it's crazy. That's how God works. Yeah.

Omar: 51:48

Yeah. You know who's like that? Um, Manny mill the prison he goes to in louisiana. What's the name of it? Angola angola So I guess the warden over there. He's a big time believer and I forget how many years he's been down there But he's changed that whole Like the culture within the prison. Okay, I think it used to be one of the most violent prisons in america but now they got like Pastors like uh, they got all type of programs out that they never had before but it all started with uh, With a man that put God first, you know, and almost like, I will say like that sheriff you mentioned has a God given vision. Yes. To, to bring change to, to these men, you know, just kind of like the guy in Angola. I know I was the other parchment in Mississippi that they go to, that I know like positive things are going. And that's what we need men of God, you know, like they can get a vision of their purpose of their identity, like no, no longer rejected, but, uh, Accepted by the father, you know, so I I think that's where it starts as men to know that that uh, god loves us And that that we have a way to get back to the father through his son. Jesus, you know, yes, sir So that that's one thing that I would encourage if you're out there you're listening to this you feel far from god, man Come come to jesus, you know Um, and I think in Romans says that if you believe If you confess with your mouth and believe in your heart heart that jesus is lord that you will be saved And then jeremiah says you will seek me and you will find me when you seek me with all your heart So I would definitely encourage you you feel far from god do those things seek them with all your heart Pray ask Him to come into your life and trust me. You will never regret it. Amen That's the thing that changed my life, you know, like confessing my needs of a savior And man here we are man. Yeah, so I wish you nothing but the best brother Thank you for being on here. And with that we're gonna get we're gonna get ready to wrap up matthew 4 16 reads The people who sat in darkness have seen a great light and upon those who sat in the region and shadow of death Light has dawned alongside my brother gil lopez. I'm omar calvillo and we are wrong too strong