"A Father’s Mission" - Jeff Zaugg on Empowering Dads to Lead

In an insightful interview Jeff Zaugg, founder of the "Dad Awesome" podcast, discusses the importance of intentional fatherhood and his mission to inspire fathers to lead their families with intentionality and joy. Drawing from over 329 interviews and his own upbringing, Jeff shares practical advice on balancing family life and pursuing new experiences. Jeff shares his journey, including creating resources for dads, his own experience raising four daughters, and the importance of loving one's spouse as a key to good parenting. The conversation also covers the impact of Jeff's father on his life, principles like integrity, commitment to family, faith and surrounding oneself with positive, prayerful influences. He highlight's the transformative role of being a son of God in fatherhood. The conversation underscores the profound impact of a loving environment and encourages fathers to seek out resources for inspiration and guidance.

https://www.dadawesome.org/

www.youtube.com/@DadAwesome

https://www.instagram.com/dadawesome

https://f4f.bike/

Transcript

Omar: 0:15

Hello, everyone. And welcome to another episode of Wrong to Strong Chicago. I'm your host. My name is Omar Calvillo. And tonight I have my guest. His name is Jeff Zaugg. And man, I'm excited to have him here. I was telling this brother, right before we started recording that, uh, I started listening to his podcast had to be like around 2020, either right before the pandemic or during it. The stories that he has on there the people that he brings on there all about the dad life. So I want to share a little bit about what he's doing. Uh, so the dad awesome podcast, uh, they're all about activating dads to lead with wonder, walking with dads as they lead and love their kids toward towards God's awesomeness. Uh, they're on a mission to see that's fully alive and fully activated in the roles. Leading with wonder to build intentional connection with their kids while experiencing God's awesomeness together. They partner with dads at every stage of the journey by providing a practical fatherhood resources to catalyze connection with their kids and also with other dads. Also welcome to, to the podcast, brother.

Jeff: 1:18

Thank you, Omar and wrong to strong. I I'm just so grateful for a chance to join you as a, you know, a guy who has a podcast and just sees like someone who sticks with it. I'm like, so pumped that you've been after this for over a year and a half and continue to pull out, draw out stories. There's such power in a story. So yeah, thanks for having me really great.

Omar: 1:38

That's for sure. I mean, you talk about a year and a half, but you've been at this for like five, I think over five years. That's it. That's true. That is true. So man, it definitely, man, at the end, I'll share the link, you know, I'll put in the show notes as well. Uh, but I believe it's that awesome. org and this brother here, he talks, he talks about me doing a year and a half. He's already on 329, uh, interviews and, to be honest, I hope I never catch up to him because his content, his guests, like I said, they're just, man, it's amazing. It's an amazing work that they're doing. And like I told him, I reached out to him. I feel like I have like, almost like a celebrity in a sense. Ah, for real. That's, that's the way I feel like I, I, I, I told my wife like, man, I'm, I'm having the guy from dad awesome also. Like, no way. Like, yeah. So in the morning, uh, uh, she prayed, you know, she prayed for the interview. Uh, and we, we were talking a little bit before we start recording about how your wife, she's in the middle of a prayer in, uh, a meeting right now. Right.

Jeff: 2:32

Yeah, there's, I think they have 16 moms right below me in the floor below me. So we're in a rental house in Florida right now. And she had a group from our church over praying for our kids. So it's pretty cool to sit upstairs talking to you. No, and there's a bunch of moms praying downstairs. It's a big deal. Big deal.

Omar: 2:47

Oh yeah. So the prayers are going to be flowing up, you know, as on the way to heaven. So I know there's going to be an anointing on this interview then.

Jeff: 2:55

Well, and just to hop in for a second, Omar, you know, when you said, you know, a celebrity on, or someone who's just done a lot of podcasts, talk to a lot of people, right. That's, um, I. Love the idea of curiosity and the podcasting space as a spot to just like express curiosity already. I mean, we've, this is true of you. I know this is true of you, Omar, like, like the idea of just stay curious, the amount of treasures that you can find by just being curious and asking questions or, and taking some initiative and reaching out, asking people saying, Hey, will you spend an hour with me? Like, so, so the curiosity as a, just a. Characteristic is something I continue to learn about, but I see that in you and anyone can do this, right? Anyone can be curious and ask great questions. So

Omar: 3:35

yeah,

Jeff: 3:35

grateful to be one of them.

Omar: 3:37

Okay. No, amen. So yeah, I'm glad that you're here. So man, uh, usually like I'll start our guests, like we want to know about their, their childhood, cause that, as we get into their story, you usually like the childhood plays like a big role in like in the direction their life went and everything. So you, you want to tell us like, well, what city did you grow up in? And maybe how it's like for you, in those young, years.

Jeff: 3:58

Sure. Yeah, glad to. And yeah, I just, you know, so much love for my parents. So my childhood story is very much a story of what I experienced from, you know, the love of my parents. So just about 60 miles. To the West where you're at today. So we're grew up in Rockford, Illinois. So not that far from Chicago. We used to love going into Chicago and, uh, yeah, grew up there through the age of 10 and then, and then jumped to Northern Wisconsin for about 10 years before I went to college in Minnesota. So I described myself as I'm this Midwest guy, about a decade in each place, uh, Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Illinois, but my parents, They, uh, they loved Jesus. They showed us four kids. So I have three siblings, two sisters, and a brother. And we, uh, experienced the love of Jesus in our home. We also experienced a lot of like encouragement to work hard, work hard, play hard, so they, we worked really hard as a family and, uh, from cleaning up job sites to, uh, helping my dad build houses, uh, and then lots of adventures together as well. The adventures were not high budget adventures. They were like, let's explore this Creek type adventures, or let's go explore and, and take. 25 acres of land in Northern Wisconsin and turn it into a new business. Say we built cabins and built a family resort in Northern Wisconsin, but in all of that, like, like we experienced a lot of love from my parents. We experienced the love of God in our home. Uh, we also experienced though, like a strong encouragement to, um, work really hard in sports and succeed in sports. And that's part of my storyline with, with my dad. Here I am, I lead a fatherhood ministry, but I experienced a lot more love. From my dad, when I scored more points on the basketball court. And I think a lot of us, you know, men and women, like, you know, we've experienced some of that from our parents, that generation, especially like the conditional love of like, I'm going to show you a lot of love. If you do this or this, or get those grades or make that team. And so that, that shaped a little bit of my view of God. I, I, I was pretty sure that God loved me more when I did more for him because of some of those things I experienced as a kid. Um, so I'm sure we'll wind back into that a little bit, but we built tree forts. We, uh, we, like I said, adventure culture of like we explored, uh, the. The spot where you're at in Northern Wisconsin was backed up to the Nicollet national forest, 500, 000 acres of kind of uncharted land. I mean, it's charted, but like we could just go explore as kids and build forts and, and, and see what we could find in the woods. So it was, it was a wonderful way to grow up, uh, definitely an entrepreneurial environment of a starter. Let's let's try new things. Let's start something from scratch. Let's sacrifice as a family to get this business up and going and. Yeah, I learned a ton. Definitely. My dad was a visionary, so I am a visionary and I see that came straight from my dad. Uh, so that's a little bit, any other deeper topics on childhood or is that kind of give a flyover?

Omar: 6:39

Well, yeah, that's a good fly over, you know, but, go, go into the hard work. You know, I told you, uh, that I listened to a few Interviews that you did on, on other podcasts and, uh, you were talking about your dad, he will put you guys to work and I believe you mentioned, uh, the first hour was free and that he will pay you 2 an hour, right? Do you want to talk a little bit about that?

Jeff: 6:59

So true. So we were, um, through eighth grade, I was homeschooled. and it was just part of our kind of our daily checklist was you do this. You do math, you, the reading, you, the history, you do whatever the, the, the subjects, but we always had an hour of work time with dad and that was not paid. The first hour was part of schooling and then yeah, uh, 2 an hour. I, You know, maybe at eighth grade, ninth grade, maybe a little more than that, but it was the majority of my childhood. That was, I remember the log book, we'd log our hours and then those, those hours would be used to pay for a basketball camp or to pay for a, uh, a new wetsuit for barefoot water skiing or slalom water skiing behind the boat. So, so we, we never saw the money. It always went to things we wanted to buy a pair of basketball shoes or this or that. But I mean, we learned. Yeah, we had a lot of fun as kids. I mean, so much fun, but we, we learned how to work hard and, uh, the stories was lots of stories to kind of weave in there, but, uh, uh, we were together as a family and, and that's part of what I'm grateful for is my four little girls. Like we are together as a family, the mission that I've been called to do the mission, the work that we do, try to figure out ways to get my kids, my daughters, uh, involved at a young age, I think is a really good thing.

Omar: 8:09

Okay. Like with the one thing you mentioned to you guys work hard, but you also played hard. So I think that's very important. Like there was like, like a mixture, I guess, like a balance there, right?

Jeff: 8:20

There was, yeah, I really do see, you know, you can definitely air on either side of, of soft play, all play all games or the, Hey, don't, we're going to work hard this morning, but then this afternoon, we're going to, we're going to have a lot of fun and we're going to play catch the flag all over this land and recruit people in and friends in, and like, there's, there's so many of those memories of, uh, we worked, but then we played. So I'm grateful for that.

Omar: 8:41

All right. So, so that was your early years. Now, what about like, like teenage life? How, how were those years, you know, as you're growing up, you know,

Jeff: 8:48

Yeah, so into, um, kind of that teenage years, junior high, I had a youth pastor at my church that taught me to play the acoustic guitar and he just took time with me to teach me the guitar, but that led me down a little different path because I was, you know, The worship leader. I was a guy playing the guitar, leading worship in our youth group, little youth group in Northern Wisconsin. Uh, that extra like, um, investment from him and his trust in saying, Hey, I'm going to let you lead, um, leadership in a ministry context in a local church. It definitely like. Brought a new side of, uh, calling and a new side of, I can do this versus the, maybe just doing these other activities I was doing before then. And so all through kind of high school, I was a worship leader in our church, in our youth ministry, went off to college. And that was actually a big part of how I spent those four years is the leadership in the area of music and worship and leading teams. And so it's, it's interesting. It's not something I do a lot of today. Actually, the acoustic guitar doesn't get played that much today. Those years, that was a part of feeling like I had a role and I was trusted. Uh, there was some awkward years of, I was transitioning into public high school from a homeschool context into public high school, tough. It was as tricky friendship wise. And then even just the culture of being in a classroom all day after a culture of work hard, play hard, get the school work done, and then get off and adventure. So, so it was a tricky years, but the, the serving in the local church and serving our youth ministry, um, was a gift. That was really cool. Grateful that I was kind of encouraged and, and, um, and prepared by, with some training and some coaching, how to, how to lead worship and play the guitar for my, my youth pastor, Mel.

Omar: 10:26

Man. Awesome. It sounds like a, like leadership, not even them, but even like, like there's a little kid, even like the hard work and all that. And it's like, we're like being prepared for like, obviously what you're doing now, but okay, man, thank God for the ministry. And then from there, like college, did you go off to college after that? Or

Jeff: 10:45

yeah, I went to college in Minnesota to study business. I guess I didn't know what I was going to study to start with, but as I went to college, I was going to. Play basketball for this team was division, division three college. And I had some success in high school, um, basketball. And I went and began some meetings with the team, with the coaches. It was, there was no scholarship money. It was just a, uh, invitation to kind of come trial for the team and started doing some captain's practices, some weight training with the team. And I realized quickly after leaving, uh, the small town in Northern Wisconsin and going to, uh, the twin cities, Minneapolis, Minnesota, I knew that. Basketball was something that I did enjoy, but did I enjoy it enough to pay to play spend four to five hours a day training with the team and spend that significant amount of my college experience playing a sport? Did I love it? And the answer really was no. I actually loved leading worship. I loved ministry. I loved other sides more than I loved basketball, but I was playing basketball because my dad, uh, there's a lot of identity, a lot of love tied with a lot of like, Our relationship tied back to the sport, the game of basketball. And I decided about three weeks into being at college, I met with the coaches and told them I decided not to continue the path of training and kind of starting up the practices. I didn't even start yet. Uh, officially I was just kind of getting to know the team a little bit in the preseason and, and they really were supportive of my decision. I called my dad and told him and, uh, my dad and I actually didn't talk for the next year. It's four or five months. We didn't even speak to one another. There was such a, such a, um, um, it just really closed off a level of our relationship that he was so disappointed that I didn't play basketball. And that was, that was a tough season for me. Um, a tough, uh, chapter of, of kind of being a young man, 18, 19 years old, off to college and having that relationship severed of just silence. We just didn't talk. Um, and, uh, thankfully, After those, those months, there was some mending, but there was really, it was years later before there was really, um, forgiveness and, um, uh, really healing from what happened in that moment of just sensing the lack of love because of a decision I made and, uh, disappointment, just deep disappointment for my dad. So that was tough, um, college though, where, I mean, overall college were phenomenal years, amazing circle of friends, really experienced. Deep Christian brotherhood to a level I'd never had before. Um, experienced, um, leadership and new context submissions work that I had a chance to be a part of, um, traveling, living summers in different areas of the country. Um, got to study abroad in Australia, uh, met my wife when I was a junior, but didn't start dating her till I was a senior. Um, she's a couple of years younger. So my wife, Michelle, and I met in college, uh, fun side story. I returned from class one day and she was sitting in my living room. It was a townhouse with a couple of roommates, uh, you know, a Five, six roommates, and she knew them from the high school she went to. And so she popped over to chat with them, not to chat with me. And I came home from class and she was in my living room. And, uh, next thing I asked, did a bunch of homework after she left and, uh, not real homework, but homework asking questions about her and, uh, found out about her and asked her on a date. And it was about a year later that we started dating because of me traveling to Australia. But, um, grateful, uh, lots of good gifts in the college years. Uh, she was by far the best one of those gifts.

Omar: 14:02

Amen, and still there, right? okay. So you said college, you, you, you met your wife and, uh, got married, obviously, you know, from there and, uh, kids, kids coming to the picture.

Jeff: 14:11

Yeah. So we're, we're 18 years married as of this July. So very, very grateful for Michelle and we, we were five, six years into marriage when we started, um, kind of seeking that next chapter of saying that, man, we'd love to grow our family. And the journey actually took a couple of years between when we were hoping to have babies till, uh, when we actually got to hold our first baby and, um, some disappointments, some heartache in there, a lot of our friends, actually, a lot of our friends have had a journey of, of just More difficulty getting pregnant than, um, you know, we would have thought maybe, maybe this just wasn't talked about back decades ago, but, uh, yeah, a lot of prayer led to, uh, we got to welcome our first daughter, um, in, I guess it was 2013. So she's 10 and a half now. And so we have four daughters. We have 10, 7, 5, 3, or the age of the four girls. And yeah, I mentioned earlier, um, We're living in Northeast Florida now and, uh, had my girls out surfing this afternoon. And so we were, we were in the water surfing together as a family. My two oldest could both now paddle out to the outer break and surf and we're having, anyways, that's taken way forward in the, in the chapter. But yeah, and we added kids kind of in the, um, we'd been married seven years. We started growing our family with kids.

Omar: 15:24

Nice. So I got them surfing. You know, I heard a part of your, your story where, uh, your dad will take you barefoot skiing. Is that what you call it? Water skiing?

Jeff: 15:34

Yeah. Now I'm six foot seven. So I'm a pretty tall dude and my feet are size 15. So some water skiers would just laugh and they'd be like, it's not really, it's not really that hard to barefoot water ski when you have skis for feet. So yeah. Right. Right. Right. I grew up as a, I'd call it a Midwest waterman. Like I love the water. I love water skiing, barefooting, whatever in the water. Love it. And now to live here in Ocean is a whole nother chapter of being, um, yeah, I mean, taking my seven year old out in the waves today, surfing and a larger set came through and I mean, there's not much time to react when a large wave, there's two surfboards and we're trying to figure out how to make sure she's safe and doesn't get hit by one of the boards. And so it's a new chapter of being a dad and the power of the ocean is a real thing.

Omar: 16:21

You know, one thing I heard you say is also the, uh, doing those first things together sometimes with your kids, you, you, you were talking about that, how having those moments where you you're doing it for the first time, but you're doing it with your kid also together. And it's almost like,

Jeff: 16:36

well, I mean, that, that ties back into Being curious and, and being willing to kind of risk a little bit. Uh, yeah, I'd love sharing first moments and I have been trying actually, since I turned 42 years ago, I'm just trying one at a time. I've done 27 things brand new that I'd never done in my life. Um, I'm going for 40. The goal is to do 40. I call it the intentional 40. And just after turning 40, I'm trying to do. Four brand new things that I've never done. And, uh, from flying an airplane to, uh, going in a hot air balloon to dropping into a half pipe on a skateboard, like I'm trying new things and rock climbing for the first time ever outside of that with my daughter. So I haven't done all the new experiences with my daughters. The goals, 10 of them are with my daughters and 10 with my wife, 10 with friends, 10 with mentors, but, uh, yeah, I'm 27, I think into my 40 list. So I've got like 13 more to knock off.

Omar: 17:30

Nice. You know, that's a good to, to make a list. Like to keep track. That's a, that, man, that's something that I got to start doing, but you know what? Let me ask you this, you're married kids. You started working. I know you want to talk a little bit about that. And then I believe from there you went into ministry.

Jeff: 17:46

Yeah, career wise, I was a business guy in college, didn't know necessarily what trajectory where I would kind of jump into next. And, uh, I actually decided to those summers that I spent working, uh, short term missions work. I was a leader on different, uh, uh, areas of the country, actually the Navajo nation in Arizona, and then the Mohawk nation in upstate New York. Got to serve and connect with the people and, and, and help bring teams to just help run kids programs and help bring some, um, just care to serve the local churches in those areas. And it was amazing summers, but that led to, they hired me full time out of, out of college and got to do ministry business, kind of got to both kind of best of both worlds, a business role, but. For a ministry that I loved and really had seen so many lives changed. So I did that role for a number of years. We ended up starting to acquire other organizations and there was some opportunities to kind of move into more of an entrepreneurial visionary space within that company. And so I got to just really learn a ton about starting new nonprofit organizations specifically, which is wild to get all this startup experience within kind of the, um, Organizational safety net of a larger ministry. So I got to do that for years. And then I, then I became a pastor. The first day I was a pastor and this is the church we had been at for a decade. So we'd been there a long time as elders and serving different capacities. And the first day I was a dad, my dad My baby girl was born on a Sunday morning was the first day I was a pastor. I missed my first Sunday. So I love telling that story that I didn't show up for my first Sunday as a pastor, because I was holding my newborn baby. So yeah, uh, that kind of pivoted for business into ministry, kind of a pastoral role for seven years. And then now into the work that I get to do now for three and a half years, I've been doing this full time with, with,

Omar: 19:32

you know, let's go there. Before you get, uh, fully into it, right. I believe you, you did like a, like a pilot, like a run, like a test run, I believe for the podcast, right? You, you, you talk about maybe where'd you got the idea from, how did you know, start, you know,

Jeff: 19:46

Every, you know, every passion project has a, usually has a Genesis story, kind of a, where did that thing starts? And so for me, it was a conversation about intentional fatherhood with, um, with, it was my wife's cousin's husband. So it was a, you know, a family member who's asking me how, how do you stay so intentional about being a dad? And I really could not respond to that question. With just a quick answer. I thought about the question and I had not read any books on intentional fatherhood, um, any, you know, parenting books for dads. I hadn't been a part of any small groups. I hadn't listened to any podcast on fatherhood. I hadn't gone to a conference. I hadn't had a coach. I hadn't done an online course. Like, I mean, truly all of this sources of wisdom usually that I'd go after. Um, I had not been doing those things as a young dad. I had just been kind of figuring it out as I go. And I wanted to, to, to ratchet up, to turn up the dial of intentionality personally. So I went looking for resources and I did a 10 week experiment about intentional fatherhood. And I, and I shared things I had found for 10 straight weeks, um, with my friends. I didn't post it on social media. I just, I just shared, here's a little 10 minutes, uh, gathering. I was really curious back to that. Theme of curiosity. I was curious. I gathered resources. I encouraged these guys and myself, and I did it 10 weeks in a row. And after 10 weeks, I was like, I have nothing else to share unintentional fatherhood. I have nothing else. Uh, so I started interviewing guests and that's when it shifted from a little experiment for 10 weeks to. Oh, this is actually a weekly cadence, a weekly rhythm. I interview somebody every week and I called it dad. Awesome. Um, pretty much from the start, I actually recorded episode one with a different name and then I rerecorded it. So I never released by anything else. It was, it's been dad awesome for, it's actually six and a half years. So those, uh, it's crazy. Uh, the journey of just, I just, every week I interview a guest about intentional fatherhood and it's changed me. I've added two daughters since then. Uh, you know, six and a half years, a lot of like lots changed. Yeah. But by just sticking with it and, and asking questions and, um, watching, um, it trickles back to me stories of dads whose lives have changed because they've begun, uh, listening, learning, and entering fatherhood with a full heart and entered not with perfection. Uh, in fact, there's those guys in Texas, dude, perfect dude, perfect guy. Uh, we are not looking to be dad perfect by any means. Like some people joke about our names. Like, uh, dad awesome is about a pursuit. Of the hearts of our kids, a turning of our hearts towards our kids and saying, I enjoy you. I love being a dad. I love that. I get to be a dad. This is a gift. This is not something I'm going to grumble my way through. And that's the posture of dad. Awesome.

Omar: 22:25

And nice. So that, that started in when, when did you know, you got your 10 episodes and obviously you start doing the interviews. When did you know, like, I guess to do this full time. Cause this was just like a, it was like a hobby at that time. Or totally, I call

Jeff: 22:40

it, some people would call it a side hustle. I call it a passion project. I, I, now I did because I was serving in a church that was a fairly large church. I, and I knew I needed to do some of the interviews during the day. I made sure to have permission. So I asked my boss, Hey, like this is going to help the dads in our church. Can I use a little bit of my work time, uh, to do the interviews, but basically my day off Fridays and then mornings, evenings, that's when I did the work. It was about 10 hours a week of work to launch dad awesome. And that was most of those were on the side that, you know, the interviews were sometimes during the day, but. Was so grateful to be the support of the church. I would say I knew I was onto something. Um, when there was all of a sudden, there was, there's lots of guys in our church that started forming small groups and I was creating curriculum and they were doing small group conversations around what we were creating. Uh, guys started signing up for, we had a couple hundred dads sign up for a daily text message. So I was sending a text out every day to encourage these dads. And that was before AI, before I could have AI write the text messages. So I was writing to myself, um, the, uh, it really caught though, when we moved from resourcing dads to activating dads. So that's, that was a shift about a year into the ministry. And this was all again, on the side, a passion project for about three years. So anyone who's thinking right now about, you know, Wrong to strong audience, your community. If you're thinking about starting something that's a mission, that's going to help change lives, right? A lot of us have an idea. Um, but I'd say do it as a passion project with no money involved with no, uh, you know, you can start a podcast for 200 budget. Like you don't need much money to start a podcast. It's a super cheap to get into it, but what it's, what it's not. Uh, it's very inexpensive for gear. It's very expensive for time. Like it takes a lot of time and it's not very in the short term. You don't get much positive feedback. A podcast is a lonely space. Like I'm, I'm chatting with you right now, Martin. And like, I love the interaction, like in your eyes and like your, your grin and like, this is fun. This is really fun. But then, then you have all the work that surrounds this conversation and no one, there's no feedback loops. And to start with the, the downloads are really, they're, they're Minimal, there's not that many people listening. And so all that to say, it was three years of seeing, of trying, of continuing long fate, like, just like, Hey, I know God has equipped me to do this. I know it's like good for my family. I've always told my girls, this is the button right here. This is the eject button. If dad awesome is not good for you, if you girls don't love that your dad leads dad, awesome. Hit the button and I'll stop. I'll stop because it's, I would hate to be a dad who my little girls, Um, they feel like it's taking away from me being an awesome dad for them. Right. So it has to be beneficial. And that would go for any mission. Anyone who's listening, like, Hey, I'm thinking about doing this thing, starting this thing, make sure it's good for those you love most first. Is it good for your wife? Is it good for your kids? Is it good for, um, your closest circle of friends? Do they say this is good or are they like. Nah, then don't do it. Don't do it. Make sure it's good for the people in closest proximity, but all that. Um, I was going to say, I knew it was going to take off when we started activating dads. We moved to rally and activate dads to go or men to go do something hard to help the fatherless. So the side of our activation events called fathers for the fatherless. That's when I knew when we were onto something, because that's when I saw like men, friends of friends of friends, the ripple effect of people telling others about the mission and inviting them. And very quickly, we had over 200 men out riding their bikes, a hundred miles, like, like we did these a hundred mile bike rides and we do obstacle course races and we do triathlons hard, hard things, physical. Pursuits like we do hard stuff to raise money for kids or not for kids. We raise money for ministries, other ministries that serve the fatherless directly. So that's what that side of the mission. That's when I knew we were onto something.

Omar: 26:35

Man. So, you know, I want to go back to something you said about the passion project, um, like I knew you were a challenging man, like if they know, like they're being called to do something that's going to bring a change, but I want to talk about the work behind the scenes, like how much work does it actually take? To do the podcast, because it's easy for somebody to go on Spotify, Apple podcast, just hit the play button and start listening to the whole, you know, whatever it is, 45 minutes, hour interview, but you have to do that. But how much work actually goes into the one show you want to share?

Jeff: 27:09

Well, I mean, for example, this conversation we're having right now, I took my girls surfing, I put my girls to bed, uh, grabbed a quick shower, turned on the computer and go like, I'm on this side, on this side of the conversation, this is all fun. It's like, we get to chat for an hour. We get to laugh and connect and share testimony. Now the other side though, so the side of the work that you're doing tonight, like, um, As a host of a podcast, I think I put four, four to five hours of preparation, listening to other interviews, they've done books, reading books, watching the guys I'm interviewing tomorrow, the Kendrick brothers there, they've got this film coming out in August called the forge. I got an advanced copy. I had to watch the, you know, I got to watch the film. I cried my way through their film. Shout out. You got to wait until end of August to watch the film. But the forge is, this is the guys that did the movie fireproof and courageous. Oh my goodness. The forge is, I cried my way through that movie. So good about men and discipleship. So, uh, so I, but I've taken a lot of time to prepare for that interview tomorrow that I'm having with the Kendrick brothers and the, just like you prepared for this. You've already brought up a couple of times. You've listened to, you did a bunch of prep. So there's the prep work. Then there's the, um, recording the conversation, which is all, it's fantastic. I love that part, but then there's the editing in post. Then there's the. Polishing to make sure it's going to sound good in your earbuds and your car everywhere. And that's that I did myself for two years. I have someone who does that small final editing, but all the other roles, basically I still do. There's the writing show notes. There's the publishing, the podcast, promoting it, cutting into reels for Instagram, trying to spread it. It's a ton of work. Um, but if you truly are passionate and if you're curious and you're learning and my posture all shifted with the podcasting too. I like it. I just am so eager to see what I can learn. God, what do you have for me in this conversation? That's what shifted it for me. And, and I want to make sure my guests have a phenomenal conversation. I want to make sure that they feel like really valued. And like, I, I really am thankful for every minute of their time. And that shifted it. Cause I really, uh, it was more fun for them, more fun for me, more impactful for both of us. And the friendship started growing podcast. You, you spend an hour with somebody. Like you're, you're pretty well on the way to being friends with that person when you spend an hour talking like this. So, so I'm grateful. I'm like, already, I'm like, well, next time through Chicago, we're hanging out.

Omar: 29:28

Oh yeah. Yeah, for sure. Definitely. And you know, one thing, I don't know if I'll be able to wear a spandex, man. There's there, is there any other type of, uh, uh, gear you could wear when you're riding a bike? I was thinking about that. Like, I don't think nobody wants to see me in my chicken legs, you know, wearing spandex, you know? So

Jeff: 29:44

it is funny. I thought the same thing. I was not a cyclist at all. But, um, when there's, uh, in our case, there was, there was like 30 guys, the first year when you're with 30 other guys wearing the cycling gear together, it doesn't feel as weird. Uh, it doesn't feel as weird now, spandex on cycles. It is a safety thing. And it is actually way more comfortable to be a dude and wear spandex than to wear like gym shorts on a, on a hard bike seat. But, uh, I, I still laugh at myself because I'm a tall dude in spandex. Now we do, we have a triathlons as well, which. It's you're not spending as much time in spandex. So we actually have a half Ironman team this coming Saturday. So just a few days from now in Chattanooga, Tennessee, which is crazy. Half Ironman. But, uh, then we have obstacle course races. So Spartan races, these, uh, intense obstacle course races. You don't need spandex for that. That's a pair of gym shorts and no shirt. You just got there, go after it and get money. So we've got other options for you.

Omar: 30:38

Gotcha, gotcha. Now, now these events, what do they usually take place? Is it different parts of the country or?

Jeff: 30:43

So that's what actually moved my family to leave the church or get sent out from the church and go full time. We, we got an RV and we spent two and a half years traveling the country from events in New York. Every year we do an event in New York. Um, we're in Phil, we were in Philadelphia, Colorado, Arizona, California. Florida, uh, we've got an event in Texas coming up. Um, we've been, I've missed in a few locations, but we've done six years of these events. Uh, we had a guy do an event in France, uh, a guy in Mexico. Um, so we are, uh, it's gone beyond anything that I could have imagined. Over 950 men have been a part of the mission and we've raised over 900, 000, uh, for our partners who's directly served at the fatherless. So it's crazy, but we, yeah, we hit the road in an RV and that's how I got to go to all the events. I didn't want to be a dad who flew away from, took a flight away from his little girls to go encourage other guys to be intentional. So, so it was, uh, I felt like it was gonna be counter missions. We prayed as a family and we hit the road in the RV and that was a two and a half year adventure.

Omar: 31:46

Nice. I want to ask you about that. Um, the wife, obviously you feel like, man, this is the direction God's, you know, leading you, you through the podcast, how important was it that, that she was on board or what was her, I guess, uh, thinking, you know, during that, uh, with what, why you guys were praying about it, you know,

Jeff: 32:06

right. She's been, I mean, she's been involved in every single step. Like this doesn't a passion project that goes on for six and a half years does not happen without, um, you know, the person you're married to, um, it, it being a deep passion of theirs. And the fact that she's, you know, meeting with moms praying right now, she cares deeply about prayer and about motherhood, about fatherhood. She sees. I mean, there's several single moms in the room, um, below me right now as we record and she just sees the, the pain of not having a dad, be present, be involved, step in with their whole heart, take initiative. She sees the pain and, um, and she sees how, how much it fires me up. And so she's all behind it. Now, living in an RV, if it wasn't for the perfect scenario of, we shifted to homeschool anyways, because of COVID, so we had already shifted to homeschool. And we already, um, had a few friends that had hit the road and traveled because during COVID, that was a safer way to kind of travel was, um, through an RV travel, right? Um, we, so we had some models, some examples, and it was a test trip. We had a family that let us borrow for three weeks, their RV and. She saw what it did to our family as far as how close we came in such close proximity, but also like the adventure, the scene, new places, the stressing out of our minds, like RV life, the stressful points, the valleys. And I, I really have been like captivated by story. A low point in a story is a setup for an answered prayer is a setup for a peak in a story and every peak. There's a valley coming. There's going to be a valley. Like you don't stay at the peak, right? Of any good story. So our story is a family. We would write down as we travel, uh, remembrance lists, we'd write down, look what God did. Every time we move the RVs, we have. We have so many sheets of paper of just filled with, look what God did. Look how he answered this prayer. And, um, that actually fueled, I think, I don't think that there's any chance. My wife would have continued to travel in an RV, uh, for two and a half years, but we saw God's goodness, his faithfulness, his miracles, his provision. And that fueled us really as a family. And we saw what it did for the relationships between our daughters and the deep friendships that they have because of traveling and adventuring as a family. So. There's no way. If you go back five years ago, my wife would say I'm in for two and a half years of RV travel. She'd be like, I'm in for like two weeks. So it's a, it's wild how it all came together.

Omar: 34:31

Right. You know, I would ask you, can you give us like, well, I know you say you got a papers full of the, remember. Can you give us one that stands out that you mentioned had to be like a low point, but obviously, it, it turned into something good. Give you

Jeff: 34:41

both example. Yeah. I mean, we had a couple of examples. We, the very first night of 550 nights, the first night we got a late start and a major windstorm kicked up. And in Iowa, we We got stuck, uh, we got to get off the road. It was, it was late. It's windy, snowy, and we park. And when the very first night, there's a button that says auto leveling and the jacks come out, the leveling jacks in the bottom of this RV come out and level us out in a parking lot of a cracker barrel. So we're in a parking lot of this cracker barrel restaurant, and we have a great night's sleep, first night's sleep, and the next morning we go to try to get off the leveling jacks and they had seized up the cold, cold, and they got overextended, uh, that first night. So we got stuck for. Four days, three nights in a frozen, windy parking lot in Des Moines, Iowa. It, uh, our first four nights, like these four nights was the most stressful while we were sitting in that parking lot, a vehicle ran into us. We're sitting still. And they backed into this huge RV, ran into our RV. Um, it's, we're freezing cold. We're stressed out. We're late. Cause we have a schedule. We have events we're going to. And, uh, that's just an example of, we prayed and we worshiped every day. We prayed and my girls saw me more stressed than they'd ever seen. And like the amount of money we paid for the RV and then to have the first, the second day to wake up to a major issue on a holiday weekend. So we couldn't get an RV mechanic and it was a crazy story, but I mean, there was layer after layer after layer of miracles that got us through that. And we, we wrote them all down. We have the details of like this person who came along and this person who called and this person who prayed. And the solution was a crazy solution, how we got down off the leveling jacks and I don't have time for the whole story now, but, um, yeah, that's what, I mean, we got stuck in a horse pasture, um, in a snowstorm in Texas. I mean, there's lots of ants took over hundreds of thousands of ants filled our RV in San Diego, California. We woke up at the floor was moving. And, uh, I mean, it's crazy. Yeah, we. So many stories.

Omar: 36:38

Yeah. But, but, you know what? Like when, uh, when God usually calls us to do something, there's usually going to be, uh, opposition, right? Usually it's going to come some way somehow. So what keeps you like going, you know, like during those, those times.

Jeff: 36:52

Count on opposition. Oh my goodness. That day with the ants. I mean, we sat outside at the end of cleaning and, um, figure out ways to seal them out basically. And we sat and we roasted hot dogs at our outdoor campfire pit and the sunset is setting. We look at each other and, and we just truly like, like we're giving thanks that we made it through and there's those moments. But then there's also moments of, you know, we're, we're finishing a hundred mile bike ride and raising. Tens of thousands of dollars for a partner. And we're next to the mountains in the front range of Colorado. And, and, and my girls are seeing a dad who is watching other dads hug their kids at the end of a ride and know it's the hardest physical thing that dad has done since becoming a dad and their kids cheered him on. And they know my dad did that because of a mission of helping kids that don't have a dad. And there's these, um, There's beautiful moments. My daughter, my youngest three year old loves orca whales of, of all things to love as a little three year old to love orca whales. Right. And we, in Seattle, we met a family, um, in Texas in an RV and they lived in Seattle. And when we were going through Seattle, they took us to their cabin in the San Juan islands. And. They took us out on their boat and we got to ride alongside of a pod of orca whales, um, with my little three year old, just her eyes. I mean, this is an experience that any adult is like a once in a lifetime. And we, you know, for zero dollars, it was because we met a family who happened to have this boat, who happened to have a pod of whales at the right time. And like those moments. Um, I mean, we have pages of stories of like, can you believe we got to be a part of this? Like this adventure has led to a moment that we'll never forget the rest of our life. And some of those are like orcas. And some of those are, are like, uh, uh, hot dogs with a sunset, with a RV that no longer is full of ants

Omar: 38:40

or a hundred thousand. That's amazing. How one, one step of faith, you know, leads to all these other like encounters and all these other, the people you meet, um, as you've been doing the podcast. Is there any like a story that stands out? I mean, as far as like a feedback, maybe that you got it from somebody that listened to one of the interviews. I'm sure you get like maybe emails or calls.

Jeff: 39:04

Yeah, there's a, I mean, I'll leave the names off of these stories because they email me, uh, there's some beautiful stories, really beautiful stories. There's a guy who plows snow for a living that will listen. I mean, five straight hours of dad, awesome podcast interviews and find himself parking this huge snow plow and taking notes and crying in the cab in the middle of the nights while he's snow plowing of like healing. That's he's experiencing. We. You know, we talk a lot about you have to be a son before you can be a father, a son of God, and most of our conversations, you know, I brought it up already with my dad and some of the hard like stuff about conditional love. Like most of the healing process of a dad of experiencing the good. Perfect love of a heavenly father that thread comes through a lot of our podcasts. So a lot of the stories I get back are guys who are experiencing the love of God, and now they can bring their whole hearts. They can bring, they can bring love to their kids in a different way. And, um, so those stories, uh, I mean, there's, there's a lot of stories, um, of just like people who reach out and say, thank you. I'm holding actually, I have, um, one, uh, he wouldn't mind if I mentioned his first name, Taylor. He was pregnant. He didn't have his baby yet. And he started listening to the podcast and he actually was near where I was living at the time and took me to coffee and asked me questions. And now he's got two kids. He's been listening for three, four years. He's got two kids and he's, he's one of our, um, key kind of champions of our fathers for the fatherless movement. He's the man in charge of the half Ironman team in Chattanooga. And he has the friends he's invited into this mission. We're talking 30 or 40 men are a part of the mission and have raised probably 80, 000 because of one guy who deeply cares. And he randomly, you know, heard about the podcast and he's, he's not even a dad yet. I mean, he was a dad because his wife was pregnant, but, uh, I mean, pretty special to see the initiative and the, um, not only curiosity, but he was like strategic about growing as an intentional dad. Yeah. Dad, awesome was a source of wisdom for that. And I, what a privilege, right? What a privilege.

Omar: 41:09

Yeah, man. Yeah. Yeah. You, it's a privilege to know that God's using you to, to be a blessing and then the lives of others. Uh, you know what you, you brought up something about the man, you know, his, his wife was pregnant. Uh, there's a ministry that you're also part of. I know you mentioned fathers for the fatherless, but there's also one, I don't know the name of it, but, uh, It deals with crisis pregnancy centers, but for men, I found that unique. Like I've heard of, of, of crisis pregnancy centers for women. This is the first time I was listening. I believe it was an interview that you did. That for men, I'm like, man, why would men need a crisis pregnancy center? You, you want to tell us why?

Jeff: 41:49

Yeah. And there's actually, uh, there's several, so these, these amazing support centers with counselors and medical help for women who are prayerfully trying to decide, are they going to keep the baby? Um, uh, I just like could cheer on. All day long, like the worker, the people who work in that space and, and the lives that are saved, but it's not just, yes, beautiful. They they've chose to keep the baby, but there's the care for that mom, right? There's the care and their support and getting her a car seat and helping her find a mentor, right? There's all these things, these crisis pregnancy centers bring. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. But some of them are now creating programs for dads. So my buddy, Luke, I'll connect you with Luke. So you can be in touch with him. He, he has a. He has five daughters and he, uh, he, uh, leads this organizational called always intentional man at aim for shorts. And they, they basically create resources to coach dads. So they, they actually incentivize these dads who, you know, this baby is going to be born soon and they haven't held the baby yet. Cause you know, the birth hasn't happened yet, but they, they. Give them gift cards to incentivize them to come to some classes, to come in and just learn, come in and receive support. And then they slowly move into, they do coaching life coaching. Like it's really valuable life coaching that you would usually pay like a hundred dollars an hour to get coaching like this. They provide it for free. These amazing life coaches to help these dads create a fatherhood mission statement, and they, they take them through a series of like seven weeks of this program and it's, it is like. To see and hear the stories of these dads who have it on their wall, this plaque, it's their father, it's their, they're realizing they have a vision for fatherhood. They have a passion and a calling to be a dad for this baby versus a dad who, you know, okay. You know, the, the woman who had a baby together, she, uh, she's keeping the baby and I'm peacing out, right? That's, that could be more of the norm if you're not married and there's various things that happen. Um, so it's beautiful. Like learning about. Some of the resources for these, uh, these young dads, uh, or dads of young babies. I'm like, so pumped to support them.

Omar: 43:53

Awesome. I know when I heard that. I'm asked. That's amazing. And, uh, I was thinking back like when I, when I first had like my, my, my daughter, like, I know I wasn't prepared, you know, to, to be a dad, but, uh, uh, when my daughter came in, she definitely changed my heart, softened my heart and it, they brought us a sight out of me that I didn't know I had. I was started singing, uh, songs to her, like making up my own songs. And my wife looking at me like, man, where, where did this come from? Like, I don't know something about a daughter that, that, that, that do you have a similar experience having like, like your first one when, you know,

Jeff: 44:26

I had no idea how much I was going to love being a dad. I, I was overwhelmed with my first, like, I feel like I was overwhelmed more than like, just treasure all the moments I treasured some moments, but I was more like, just trying to figure out, are we going to get sleep ever? And how do I, how do you change a diaper? And I had like no experience helping like nieces, nephews, like helping my siblings with kids. That I was like, I felt very rookie and very underprepared, but I was Uh, as I've had additional little girls, like now I, like the idea of missing moments like that, like breaks my heart when a dad is overwhelmed or just too busy or feels like that's not for me. Like the young kid, let the mom care for that little baby. I'm just like heartbroken when I hear these stories, because these are like. These moments are to be treasured and like, they are such a gift. I get that different, different dads are wired different ways, but man, to look for those moments, actually one quick, just side tip for a young dad, any young dad listening, or if you're going to have a baby in the future, um, you know, as a young dad with that newborn baby, the first couple of weeks. Take your shirt off and the skin to skin. As some, some people are not encouraged to do this. Like, like the hospital won't tell you to do this. Take your shirt off and hold that baby on you. It's, it's the most beautiful bonding thing with a little baby, um, to just like, um, skin to skin contact. And it's, uh, it's, it's like one of my favorite things. And my youngest is now three. So that's, that's over. It's gone. I'm like, no.

Omar: 45:53

Awesome. Awesome. That was sure. That brings like more of a, connection there.

Jeff: 45:57

Yeah. It, it is. And it's just, it's, it's the most precious thing, especially if the baby's sleeping. It's just like, oh,

Omar: 46:02

yes. Nice, I wanna ask, uh, something that you mentioned earlier. You said when be, when you were preparing, like to do an interview, you maybe read a book that, that the author wrote, well, what's the importance of, of reading? You know, like, as men, I, I know it's not that. Like for me, like I tried to read them and I was telling my wife the other day, she was giving me, Oh, here, read this book. I'm like, nah, I'm not going to read it because I already got like 10 books that I'm like a quarter of the way in and I'm not seeing them through. So I told her, no, I want to, the one I'm reading, I want to see it through. And I got some way to go, but what's the importance for us as men to, to read, you know, I think there's a lot of men out there that don't, don't read no more, you know.

Jeff: 46:43

Yeah, it's, it's not, it wasn't natural to me. I went young married. So call it the first, you know, even, I mean, really even the first 10 years of, of marriage. So this is probably the last I've been married 18 years, the last eight years I've been much more intentional with my reading, maybe 10 years. So this is something I'm definitely committed to. I'm a reader. I, I know that I'm a leader. I know that God has called me to lead and to influence others. Um, my family, men, dad's community, like the church. I'm in the places that I work and connect with partners. Like I am, I am a leader. I know I'm a leader. And we've heard this, you've heard this before. Like leaders are readers, right? I mean, because, because if a leader isn't continuing to learn new things, they're not continuing to stretch themselves and, and, and check and try new things and, um, Yeah, we're just not going to be, we're not going to be leaders that people want to follow. Right. So, so now it is finding the time to read without a clear, um, deadline is, is tough because it just like that book can sit on the nightstand or can sit on the coffee table for a long time. So I need accountability to read, to actually be a reader. Now there's certain topics that I like, I really want to learn about, but accountability is huge. So the podcast gives me natural accountability. I interviewed last Thursday. Um, John Tyson. So he's the author of the intentional father and he's releasing a book here next week. Um, called, uh, fighting shadows. And I read the whole thing for that interview. Not often do I read the whole book for an interview, but I, like, I have just such respect for this. Um, he's a pastor author, uh, Definitely a thought leader in the fatherhood ministry space, uh, from New York city. I wanted to read the whole thing to really honor him as a, um, he's giving me an hour of his time. I wanted to read the whole book ahead of time, but now I immediately, I want to read that book again with other men. So you can't do this all the time, but I'm going to find, I'm going to find a group of men and we're going to go just seven weeks. We're going to go through the seven sections, the seven shadows that we can be fighting. I know. So. Other men, uh, to read together is a huge way that I finished books is because I know this chapter is due and we're going to talk about it. Uh, that's huge. And you can do that even remotely. If you've got a couple of friends in different areas of the country around the world, you can say, Hey, let's, let's read this book. And each week just post a couple, um, takeaways from each chapter. You can start a book club with a group text, right? Um, so reading is such a value. Um, we're trying to raise our daughters to love learning, just the love for learning. Now, audible, I spent a lot of time on a bicycle and, uh, and so listening to something on long cardio type training, audible is good, but the level I'm back and forth on it, I'm back and forth because I take a lot of, a lot of underlines, a lot of scratching up notes on the side, like, Yeah. I don't think you soak in the same percentage when it's, um, through your earbuds than it is when you, when you read a book, but it's still, uh, man, I've, I've listened to books first and then I've gone and read the paper book second time through as well. But, uh, yeah, be, I think they, another quote that I, Can't recall who said it is like, you'll be the exact same person in five years as you are today, except for the books that you read and the men you surround yourself with. So, I mean, so even if it's, even if it's two books a year, if you, you pick 10 wise books and you read those 10 books over five years to a year, we can all read two books a year. Um, and then you be intentional about building strong friendships. With pick three or four guys that you're gonna just invest in and really build stronger friendships, you're gonna be a totally different person in five years because of those books and the people.

Omar: 50:21

Hey man. I know you mentioned John, Tyson, I believe Tyson is, is he from Australia, was it? Or Yes. The Australian that now lives in New York. Yes. Yes. Because you know what, that's one of the interviews that I listened to that you did. And I actually bought his book. I got it on Kindle on my, on my, uh, app. So that's one, one book that I have under on, on fathering. But, uh, I'm gonna put you on the spot. I know we got the Bible, obviously number one, but what's your top three books. And like I said, is this, I say it's a tough question because I've listened to your podcast and a lot of your guests have written books. So I, it's not like, you know, like to. Down one and not the other boat. What's like the first, if a man's on a budget, he got 30 is all he got. And he could only afford three books. What three books would you recommend that these men read?

Jeff: 51:07

Yeah. And are these, these are for men and are they for dads as well? Is that we go in that narrow, I would

Omar: 51:13

say in general, cause, cause I, one thing that you brought up is, uh, like the father in life. And then I love what you said about being a son. Like, I think it starts there because, uh, I was listening to one of your other, uh, podcasts. I think it was one or two where you were talking about some prayers and some declarations that you make. And I was, I was hearing it. And then the confession that you were making, it was like who you are in Christ and who you are like as a, as a man, as a son of God. Right. So that's very important. So I will say like in general, like father. Uh, maybe even a husband, you know, or just a man, uh, son of God, you know? So what's like three,

Jeff: 51:50

you know, what I was doing there, Omar, as I was stalling, I was stalling in my asking the folks, I'm like, I'm rattling through like 12, I'm trying to take my top 12 down to three. So here's, uh, I will right away recommend, um, The author is Jack Frost, and the book is Spiritual Slavery to Sonship. And he's been, he passed away 20 years ago, but I just read it for the fourth time. So Spiritual Slavery to Sonship by Jack Frost. He was a deep sea fisherman, uh, turned pastor. And it's all about being a son of God and walking in freedom. Our true identity as sons versus we live as orphans or as slaves, um, trying to earn our way versus Actually resting in the father's love. So that book's phenomenal. Um, I am going to recommend it's wild cause I just finished reading it, but I already mentioned it's John Tyson fighting shadows is co written with, uh, Jeff Bethke, but it releases next week. So it'll be out by the time you drop this podcast releases may 22nd, I think. Um, so yeah. Phenomenal book. Phenomenal book. Uh, it's interesting to recommend a brand new book versus, um, this is going to be tough. Now I got to pick between, uh, we give me four, a total of four books. Is that all right?

Omar: 53:03

Bonus three plus one.

Jeff: 53:06

Yeah. So, so the book draw the circle by Mark Batterson. It's a short read. It's a 40 day prayer challenge. Draw the circle. Um, I mean, you're talking five minutes a day for 40 days. That book was, Super impactful for me around just hearing God's voice and really seeking to be a man of prayer, a dad who prays and who presses into that space of, of prayer. So, uh, and then, um, Oh, I asked you for a bonus and now I'm, um, now I'm forgetting what my last one was. Um, I mean, I can't, it's hard not to recommend John Eldridge and he's got like six books I'd recommend, but his book, Wild at Heart is. So good. It's 20 years old and it just got re kind of not even updated. It just got re released as the same books. It's so good. So wild at heart by John Eldridge.

Omar: 54:00

Nice. I know you guys did an event, I believe out there, right? And was it, I forget what's, was it Wisconsin? It was like a year or two ago. You guys have that read out there or something?

Jeff: 54:10

So, and I actually wasn't able to be there. I was on the prayer team. I couldn't even be there, but yes, we rallied our people to go do one of the wild at heart boot camps and you can look those up. Those are all over the country all the time. The wild at heart boot camps. I mean, uh, I mean, it's funny. Now the other book came to mind, Ruthless Trust, Brendan Manning. There's another one for you. That's a phenomenal read, um, about trusting God. Um, so there you go. I'll stop there. There's some more books, but, uh, that'll give you a few.

Omar: 54:37

Okay. No, no, that's good. Yeah. I'm going to put the like, uh, links to, to every book, like on the show notes that the guys want to go on there and click on there. But, uh, you know what, when I reached out to you, I told you like the men that, that I feel that we're reaching, a lot of these men didn't, Have fathers or maybe their fathers weren't like the best role models, I guess. So I really wanted to have you on here just to, to, to connect our audience to, to what you're doing. At Dad awesome fathers for the fatherless and everything that you're doing, I believe is just, I see God's hand in it. Uh, but, and I don't know if you want to talk to talk about this, but your dad, when you, when you first started, I believe you released, uh, the first show you want to talk about what, what news you got from your dad and then tell the rest of the story, like up to one on one.

Jeff: 55:25

Yeah, grateful to get to share that. Thank you for the invitation. So, uh, I did, I launched the first episode of dad awesome in January of 2018. And the next day, my dad rushed to the hospital. So I got a call from my mom and dad and kind of panicking as they rushed to the hospital, uh, with his environment. Issues with his, um, balance in his mind and 10 days in the hospital. Um, I visited him twice during those 10 days, cause he was a couple of hundred miles away in Wisconsin. Uh, he, uh, we found out that he had brain cancer and lung cancer. So both and started a battle and, and for the next. Almost two years. Uh, I spent a lot of one-on-one time with my dad. A lot of trips. Um, the church that I was on staff at at the time were so supportive of me just taking a quick one or two day trips to be back with him. And so I did a lot of those trips, a lot of road time to pray and think about, and a lot of conversations around healing. And, uh, I released Episode 100 of Dad Awesome. After my dad was so supportive of the launch of Dad. Awesome. The visionary side, the supporting dads like. He listened to the episodes. He was so encouraging. And the next day after launching episode 100, my dad went home to heaven. And, um, so I, I really the foundational hundred weeks of this ministry were the last hundred weeks with my dad before he, um, experienced being with his heavenly father in heaven. And, uh, so it was beautiful. It's hard. I dedicated episode, uh, 101, I believe it was, maybe it was 100, um, to my dad. And then the next week, the next episode was an episode full of prayers and declarations that you mentioned. So, uh, yeah, those two episodes, uh, the tribute to my dad and then the, the one on prayers and Declaring out loud, um, my identity as a son of God and I declaring that this is who I am, these promises from scripture, uh, has been a gift. So very grateful.

Omar: 57:25

Amen. Amen. Thanks for, uh, sharing that, that, that whole story. I know it is sad, but I just, uh, the fact that you you got to spend that time with your dad. It's as, as you're launching this, this ministry, like, you know, like dad being there for him, then, you know, like being a blessing to, to other men who want to be good, good fathers. And, uh, that's actually what, what I wanted to ask you, you said, um, you, you, you dedicated a one on one to your dad and I, I actually have the list here that you shared. So if it's okay with you, I wanted to read them. And then maybe if you could, uh, expound on it a little bit, like on each one. And, um, because I believe though that there's a lot of men that are going to be listening to this interview. desire to be good fathers, that they want to be, they want to break a generational curses or strongholds that they've been like carrying. Here they are, they've been saved. They've been transformed, you know, by God, God's been moving, but, but now they need. Like something, I guess, an aim, right? Something to, to aim for that they don't know what it means to be a good father. And I'm sure there's a, a lot of things that we could put up there on the list, but I believe that this list you have here, I think it's, it's a good start. If we could even, uh, uh, strive to attain some of these in our own life. So I'll start with a one. It says here, 10 ways I want to be a dad, like my dad. So number one, you put. Love my mom. He kissed my mom daily, served mom and valued and deeply loved his wife.

Jeff: 58:56

Yeah. I mean that it's so easy to drift away and pursue other things versus the one that, you know, my best friend and, um, pursue the woman who's a gift from God that I've got a chance to marry. Um, I mentioned earlier, her name's Michelle. And, and so even you re reading that back, it's like, ah, I just want to be more like my dad in that. I'm just like. Pursuing the heart of my wife, serving her, encouraging her, using my words. So, yeah, I want to be like that.

Omar: 59:22

Yeah, I read a book, um, I think it was Dr. Edwin Lewis Cole, and he said, uh, the best gift a father can give his children is to love their mother. And that always like stood out to me. And then when, when I read your, your number one, like to love the mom, like here you are that awesome, but I love the fact that you start with loving mom. They, they need to see that because. I believe it brings security to them to know that man, mom and dad, they love each other, they care about each other and they grew up feeling secure instead of like growing up, uh, insecure, you know, his mom and dad going to stay together and we know like, uh, the cost or the price of the divorce and families, you know, like how it affects the children. So I believe, man, for, for you to have it like number one is, is very like important, you know. And then two of a family man, uh, this one, one thing you mentioned to the, his eyes shined with love for his family. Dinners, sports, vacations, play together.

Jeff: 1:00:19

Yeah, yeah, I think there is something about the shiny eyes of you can tell when someone loves being with their family, when someone is that idea of being a family, man, it's part of my identity. It's like, I, that was true about my dad and I I think those who know me best and that are surrounded, like, would say that's true about me, that I am a family man and I treasure my family and my eyes shine when I talk about them versus, you know, grumble about what's going on at home. And yeah, I think it's a choice daily. It really is.

Omar: 1:00:50

Yeah. Well, one thing that comes to my mind, uh, like growing up, I, I used to hate when my dad would take vacations. Because he would take vacations from work to put us to work at home, you know, like, like we wouldn't go nowhere. So now what I do, I, I, I tell my, like, like my saying is when my kids are on vacation, I'm on vacation. So I schedule my work vacation when they're off, let's say like spring break or the summer. Like I want to be intentional about spending time with them. And I'm actually going to take a month off recording podcast. Cause I, the way I do it is every, every two weeks. And so I already got a couple recorded that are going to cover me from June, like early June to early July. So I already told them, I'm going to take those 30 days, whatever you guys need me to do for you. I'm not going to be, you know, no recording, no editing, no none. Uh, I want to be there for you guys because I love something that you mentioned, like if this is taken away from you being a father, then it's taken away from, from where you, the work that you, uh, uh, set out to do, right? So we got to be intentional about scheduling the text. I got my, uh, 18 year old and 16 year old. I got to teach how to drive. So during those 30 days, there's going to be a lot of driving and just, uh, I just want to be intentional about pouring into them. So when I do jump back into this. They won't feel like, ah, you know, dad's all about just doing the podcast or that ministry or this. So I think it's very important to be a family man, you know, so integrity, uh, telling the truth and following through on commitments always. That was number three.

Jeff: 1:02:21

Yeah. He, he modeled this, I mean, in many ways in the home front, but also like, uh, there's a lot of stories of, um, business relationships, homes he built, um, you know, customers, clients that, that would, that, that was always a common thread back to us kids. We heard the stories about how he operated and led with integrity. And, um, you know, his word was his word. It was a, you know, handshake deal was plenty good with my dad. Like he didn't need a big contract written up because he knew he was going to stand behind it. And yeah, that's a, that's a big deal to, to, that I want to, I want to, I want it to be true about me. So I admired that.

Omar: 1:02:57

Yes. I said the same here. I believe like, let your yes be yes. And your no be no, like follow through that. That that's very big. Uh, this one, I love dream chaser, seeing the future and believing in faith that he could move past obstacles to get there.

Jeff: 1:03:12

Yeah. So that's the, yeah, I think the dream chaser visionary, the, I believe it's possible. I can, I'm willing to put the hard work in to see it, even though I don't see it clearly yet. I believe that it's coming that, that breakthrough or that, that next step. Um, so yeah, he, He definitely led that way. And, and, um, career wise was able, was willing to take risks because he could envision, um, a better future for our family. And, and there's ministry tied with that, as far as the impact he had to other families and guests and, uh, the community that we moved to in Northern Wisconsin. So he, he definitely chased his dreams.

Omar: 1:03:51

Yeah. And I, and that like transferred into you, right? Where you envision it and now you're out there like doing the same, you know, like. What was it really? I don't know. Curiosity. Was it?

Jeff: 1:04:03

Yeah. Curiosity of like, um, I have been working actually on a 2030 vision. So six years of just trying to bring clarity to what, what I hope and dream for. What am I praying for six years out? That's a lot of time. Like, so you, you don't see the progress, especially, you know, parents, young parents, like dads, like we don't see the progress in the. This month, next month, this six months, sometimes even this whole year, we might not see the gains, the progress. It's not very quantifiable. And yeah, so I want to be a visionary that can kind of really grab ahold of a vision that's six, 12 years out, you know, ways out and, um, just keep after it in the small things, even though I don't see the, the, the, the results in the short, in the short term.

Omar: 1:04:45

Got it. You, you know what? I wanna be a man of my word. I told you one hour. I'm already at 1 0 8 over here. So I'm gonna run through, through these and maybe you could touch on one. So here, uh, number six is, excellence. Uh, number seven was love for others. Number eight, problem solver. Nine, generationally generous, and 10. So, oh, this is what I want to touch on, surrounded by praying friends. Show me your friends, and I'll show you your future. Why is it important for us, for us to be surrounded by praying friends?

Jeff: 1:05:18

Yeah. And this is a story I think I, I have shared before publicly, but I, You know, with my dad in one of his, I think it was like two days before he passed away, we called on the phone, one of my dad's best friends. And he, he said, Hey, can you guys just give me a moment? And I could hear some sounds on his side of the telephone. And he said, I just wanted to get down on my knees, uh, and pray. So, you know, my dad had, you know, friends like that, that even though he's over a phone call, he like wanted to get down on his face and pray on his hands and knees, um, seeking God for my dad. And. That marked me, it marked me for sure. And yeah, even seeing my dad's friends continue to care for my mom here four years later when she's, you know, it doesn't have a, doesn't have a husband here and, um, yeah, so praying friends is a huge deal and, and there's chapters that you pray often with the group. And then, you know, You move like our family, we moved, um, into an RV and then we moved again from the RV into Northeast Florida. Like, so, so developing and growing friends who pray often you have to be the friend who prays for them. Like as you grow those friendships of men who are going to pray for you. So yeah, that, that is true about me. Like I'm a man of prayer. I love, like, I want to seek God on behalf of my friends. And, and I'm, I'm seeing that in. My friends who are praying for me and I get to celebrate with them that when prayers are answered, how cool is the celebration when they're a part of it versus you're on your own praying for your praying for yourself and praying for different things. So,

Omar: 1:06:50

yeah, man. So, so on that note, I'm praying or any final words, anything you want to share me with audience. So maybe something that's placed on your heart and then if you could close this out in a prayer.

Jeff: 1:07:00

Yeah. Wow. I, again, like I started, I'm so grateful for wrong to strong for you, Omar, and your vision for reaching with the power of testimony. Like, I, I really been thinking a lot about peaks and valleys, peaks and valleys, every story is full of these moments that you give. Thanks for the peaks. Um, this is another quote that I can't, um, attribute to the right person, but nothing grows. At the peak, the mountain peaks are rocky and nothing grows there. Then there's a valley. And you know what happens in the valley is like the most beautiful places on earth are the valleys because of the, the, the flourishing growth, because it collects all the moisture. Right. But you know, valleys in our story, we don't like to like talk about the goodness of God in the valleys, but just. The, what you're doing a pulling out testimony, sharing testimonies and helping. Um, even you've mentioned a couple of times, the folks who you serve in our listing, the community you've built with wrong to strong, like, um, the, the choice to be resilient and to step in with your whole heart to the next season. If there was a valley, there's a peak coming and your story needs to be shared. So the more we share, uh, I've got a group of guys that we share seven minutes slices. It's not your full story. We set a timer. We say, Hey, in seven minutes, share about some peaks and valleys. Share what God has brought you through, share what you're learning, share about a time you stumbled and it really, it hurt you. It hurt people, but guess what? You kept going. You have hope because we serve the God of all hope. Like, so that's what I wanted to cheer on. And to kind of put an exclamation point to is peaks and valleys. Our stories are full of them. They both can be like, God is in both the high moments and the really sad. Hard moments that are painful, but he is a God of turnaround. He's a God of testimonies powered by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony. We will overcome, we'll overcome. So, so I have huge faith for, for you, for the guy, the men and women you serve. And, um, yeah, I'd be glad to be glad to pray for you guys.

Omar: 1:08:58

Thank you.

Jeff: 1:08:59

Yeah, Heavenly Father, thank you that you reveal yourself in the Bible as a loving father, a present father, a faithful father, um, a God who actually runs to us. You're not a God who's a long ways off. You're a God who says, uh, you're, you're having a hard day. I'm going to, I'm going to run to you and be very near to you. So I pray that everyone listening would know, God, you are very near. And you, uh, specialize in turning stories around. So God, if anyone's listening right now and feels like it's a low point in their story, a direction they're headed is, is towards harm or towards hurt or towards giving up or towards hopelessness. I just pray that they would know right in this moment that you are the God of all hope and that you specialize in giving us strength and Bring in provision in answering prayers in restoring peace and in saving. You are our savior. So I just pray that you would. Reveal yourself as the savior, as their savior, and you would restore hope. And, uh, we're just so grateful for your love. So thank you for everyone. Who's listening for them journeying with us through the story. Pray this in Jesus name. Amen.

Omar: 1:10:11

Amen. Jesus name. Amen. Hey, brother, before we sign off, can you share, uh, uh, the sites, maybe, uh, where people could find you, you know,

Jeff: 1:10:19

Absolutely. Yeah. Happy to. Um, so dad, awesome. org dad, awesome. org is the website for all things. Dad. Awesome. Uh, you can click on the events and get right over to all the fathers for the fatherless stuff. So I won't share the separate websites. You can find that through dad. Awesome. And then on Instagram at dad, awesome. And at fathers for the fatherless all spelled out. Those are the two main handles that share the impact of what we're doing. Um, yeah, those are the best two ways to kind of stay in the loop.

Omar: 1:10:47

Brother, I want to thank you for your time. I know we went to OOT over here, you know, so, so you check with the mayor for the overtime, but thank you so much for being on here, man. It was a blessing to connect with you and God willing that, you know, the people that are listening, you know, definitely go out there and check out these stories, these testimonies. You will truly be blessed by that. So with that, uh, we're going to get ready to sign off a Matthew 4, 16 reads. The people who sat in darkness have seen a great light and upon those who sat in the region and shadow of death Light has dawned alongside my guest Jeff Zaugg. I'm Omar Calvillo, and we are wrong too strong